So, it's been almost 5 days since my last dose of Methadone. I've been at the clinic now for 4 years. Before that I was an oxy/herion addict for about 2 years.
Tomorrow I'll go to my clinic to turn in my take homes that I don't need anymore. 2 years ago I moved back to my hometown from Arizona. Long story short, my ex and I were abusing our Methadone clinic take homes and living in our car with our two children (2 and 1 yrs old). We want into walmart one day and our car was repossessed with everything we owned inside.
I finally broke down and called my dad, begging to come home. He said yes under the condition that I immediately start tapering off the methadone. I agreed thinking I could put it off once I got home. He paid for me and the kids to get a greyhound back to California. It was a struggle to say the least. I was extremely over medicated at 120 mg. I woke up every morning pissed off at the world that I had to get up and be responsible. My kids suffered because I just wanted to sleep and forget about my responsibilities. I tried putting off tapering but my dad was insistent on proof from the clinic that I was actually going down on my dose.
So, reluctantly I started tapering. I made it down to 80 in a couple months and realized it wasn't as bad as I thought. There was constant pressure from my dad to go faster and be done with it already but I knew it had to be on my time and my way (I'm very stubborn lol). I got stuck at 40mg for a while...trying to put off what I thought was going to be the worst withdrawals of my life. I did well after that, going down to 10mg over a 6 month period. I got stuck again at 10mg thinking how horrible I was going to feel. But for the most part it's been so much easier than I thought.
I've changed so much over the past two years. I went from a homeless, 24 yr old addict with two kids, no job, no drivers license, no will to be a better person...now I'm a 26 yr old mom of two, I work full time as a retail supervisor, I got my license back, I have money saved to buy a car, and I'm an honest person again. My family and friends are proud of what I've done but I'm more proud that I can look at myself and be proud of who I am. I tapered all the way down to 1mg and took 1mg per day for 10 days. I picked up 6 take homes last Wednesday. On Friday I took my dose as usual with every intention of taking my next dose on Saturday. But on Saturday I woke up realizing it had been exactly two years to the day of when I moved back home with my dad. I decided to not take my dose in the morning as I usually would. Instead, I put it in my purse and headed to work hoping that I could maybe go a little longer without taking it. Well, here I am..almost 5 days later and I still have the same bottle in my purse..untouched. It's been rough psychologically and the restlessness is quite irritating. But guess what? I'm stronger than I thought and tomorrow I'm going to the clinic to give them my unused take homes. I guess I've rambled a little bit more than I thought I would but it's felt nice to get all of this off my chest. I'm so excited for what's to come! ?
Tomorrow I'll go to my clinic to turn in my take homes that I don't need anymore. 2 years ago I moved back to my hometown from Arizona. Long story short, my ex and I were abusing our Methadone clinic take homes and living in our car with our two children (2 and 1 yrs old). We want into walmart one day and our car was repossessed with everything we owned inside.
I finally broke down and called my dad, begging to come home. He said yes under the condition that I immediately start tapering off the methadone. I agreed thinking I could put it off once I got home. He paid for me and the kids to get a greyhound back to California. It was a struggle to say the least. I was extremely over medicated at 120 mg. I woke up every morning pissed off at the world that I had to get up and be responsible. My kids suffered because I just wanted to sleep and forget about my responsibilities. I tried putting off tapering but my dad was insistent on proof from the clinic that I was actually going down on my dose.
So, reluctantly I started tapering. I made it down to 80 in a couple months and realized it wasn't as bad as I thought. There was constant pressure from my dad to go faster and be done with it already but I knew it had to be on my time and my way (I'm very stubborn lol). I got stuck at 40mg for a while...trying to put off what I thought was going to be the worst withdrawals of my life. I did well after that, going down to 10mg over a 6 month period. I got stuck again at 10mg thinking how horrible I was going to feel. But for the most part it's been so much easier than I thought.
I've changed so much over the past two years. I went from a homeless, 24 yr old addict with two kids, no job, no drivers license, no will to be a better person...now I'm a 26 yr old mom of two, I work full time as a retail supervisor, I got my license back, I have money saved to buy a car, and I'm an honest person again. My family and friends are proud of what I've done but I'm more proud that I can look at myself and be proud of who I am. I tapered all the way down to 1mg and took 1mg per day for 10 days. I picked up 6 take homes last Wednesday. On Friday I took my dose as usual with every intention of taking my next dose on Saturday. But on Saturday I woke up realizing it had been exactly two years to the day of when I moved back home with my dad. I decided to not take my dose in the morning as I usually would. Instead, I put it in my purse and headed to work hoping that I could maybe go a little longer without taking it. Well, here I am..almost 5 days later and I still have the same bottle in my purse..untouched. It's been rough psychologically and the restlessness is quite irritating. But guess what? I'm stronger than I thought and tomorrow I'm going to the clinic to give them my unused take homes. I guess I've rambled a little bit more than I thought I would but it's felt nice to get all of this off my chest. I'm so excited for what's to come! ?
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