My story - My habit

randomthoughts365

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 23, 2015
Messages
4
Hello everyone!
I've been lurking around here for a few months now. I figured it's about time to create an account and start posting. I am 30 years old and I am from California. My habit is pain pills. I pretty much like them all, but my favorite is Percocet 10/325 or oxycodone 20mg. I've been using off and on since I was 19 years old. When I was 21, I got pregnant and I quit cold turkey, and even after I had the baby, I didn't pick it back up. Occasionally I smoked weed, which I have a card for, but I stayed away from pills until I lost my home and had to move back in with my mom when I was 24. That was 2009.
My mom took Vicodin 10/500's, Xanax, Soma, Klonopin, and an array of other meds and always shared. I favored the Vicodin and Klonopin, but usually took it once or twice a week. When I got a job and moved away from my moms house, I stopped again BUT I started drinking heavily. Then in 2011 I got pregnant again and again quit everything cold turkey. I switched companies when child # 2 was 4 months old and moves to the town I'm in now. Fast forward to September 2013. Up until then I had been pretty straight. No booze, no pot, and occasional pills, but really really rare. In Sept 13, I had a tummy tuck done and for the pain they sent me home with norco 10/325- 2 tab every 4 to 6 hours and Roboxin 500mg- 1 tab 4 times a day. That started the path to where I am today.

Well if you've read this far, congratulations! You've got a "shortened" version of my up and down life. Now, I have a prescription for Percocet 10/325, 4 times a day, 120 pills a month. I also get oxys 20mg from a family member, and norco 10/325 from another family member. I usually take anywhere from 60-100 mg of the oxys at once, usually 3-5 times a day. My 120 pill script lasts about 6 days and I'm always scared of the time I run out and I can't find anything else. I've got a deep seeded addiction and honestly it scares me. Besides the obvious health issues I am putting myself into, it doesn't affect my daily life. I work. I take care of my kids, my husband, and my house. I don't know. I know I need to cut back and eventually quit completely, but mentally, it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Well there is my story. Thank you for coming this far, and I look forward to reading others reply, answering any questions anyone may have and getting to know some! Have a great night everyone!
 
Last edited:
Hi, Welcome to Bluelight :)
I know I need to cut back and eventually quit completely
Exactly, start cutting back.
it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I understand, but you have to go through hard times to get better. It will pay off, trust me.


I'm gonna move this to The Dark Side.

Good luck !
 
Welcome to bluelight..its hard to stop cold turkey but cutting back is very hard if u have a constant supply..your life is in order now but eventually it will catch up to u..try kratom if u want something to help with WD or taper if u decide to stop..good luck i wish i had some more advice but im in the same sinking ship as u..u have to really want to stop for yourself if u want to get sober..
 
Cutting back is not an option as I've just run out a few days ago and all my sources have dried up. I'm on day 3 of nothing and the pain is horrific so far. Today I lived in the bathroom with dry heaves. I haven't eaten or drank anything since early Thursday as nothing wants to stay where it belongs. A family member brought me a couple zofran, a good handful of roboxin, flexeral, Xanax, and Ativan with the hopes of something giving me some relief from this nightmare.

the shit thing about it, when I do get the script in my hand, I'll be right back at square one when they run out. God I am so fucked in the head!
 
Ohh and I have a TON of that kratom stuff in my drawer. I have no clue how to use it! I've tried mixing it with liquid and that's gross, toss and wash and I gagged on it till I spit it all about my kitchen. Mixed it in a smoothie which worked! But I can't drink an 8 oz smoothie in one shot so I thought I would put it in a shot glass and mix with a bit of smoothie. Man that was hard to get down. Anyway, it never seem to do anything for me.
 
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