My story.. give it a shot folks

[Blackhawktown]

So, here I am I was attending this university and getting by year and a half pass, and i realize that I'm getting random severe pains I should not have, something should be done but the reefa would always help.
-fast forward 6 months of me buying vikes not that otc shit u kno im in the states.
-i get in a pain clinic(no im not from flordia fucks) i have a legit disease that causes real pain
-i abused the rare oc in my day never like until i scripted.

-fast forward again to the presesnt date,
been on every pk known to man almost
opana
oc
diladud,
hydro
blues,
fent,
on and on and on
u name it i been on it. -fuck it all

-nothing worked my life was mentally in the SHITTER. i felt like CRAP missed all my old homies so much that getting caught by my parents with a hypo and filters from IR opanas which i did successfully twice? abscessing fuckin up in between. No one knows but my parents bout the needle. Will I ever tell anyone? I dont think so.
- dont ask me why i did it? coming here? i feel i got no one to blame but my motherfuckin' self man thats real life shit and thats how i am gonna live
-this was three weeks ago i AM STILL IN PAIN and go to biofeedback which is kinda like meditation if anyones interested let me know its pain alternative therapy which helps me tremendously

-now fastword to today im finally starting to drink again went from 60mg opana a day 30mg methadone, to 10mg done 10mg opana in a day thats 5mg done morn 5mg night opana in the morning..tommrow it goes to opana in the am 5mg done in the pm. call me crazy but you keep making that face its gonna get stuck like that gotta choose the life you want to live. be doped out and not function? (well that was me). or live it up.. no bullshit.. lifes a party live it up.

Hope this was readable I'm just at the worst part of wd's and could use someone to talk to? i had this dream girl that i would do anything for, but her dads going through chemo and its not even important actually on another rant, but it really really helped that litle bit of love right there. much love homies, anybody that will try and help me. God bless you! (even if you are athiest thats from my heart)

 

[InsaneJane]

That sounds pretty rough dude, and I wish I had something more to offer, but if you ever want to vent, im all ears. I dont have much experience with opiates so I'll just leave you with a little food for thought. When my dad had his stroke and was in the NICU, most of my friends stopped calling me or talking to me about anything real. Everything was hows my dad hows my dad hows my dad am i ok is the family holding up stay strong dont give up etc etc etc. On the rare occasion someone actually reached out to talk about something going on in their life, it was actually really nice. Maybe your girl would feel the same way?

 

[Blackhawktown]

That's whats up right there man much love. Thats all my life was, how are you yadayada, people thinking im taking too much shit pilled out becuase i couldn't leave bed. But my best friends are home for break which helps alot, but things didn't go so well with that girl recently so.. makes me a little more down.

I just still feel strong enough to do it. I want out of this hell hole and I am making a promise to myself, the world, that I will and will stay changed.

Music is the key for me, if I did not have music, I dont know if id be able to get off so fast.

 

[ElectricCity]

hey, good for you for going through with this.
i am unsure if you chose to do this because you could see life was getting out of hand, or parents are sort of pushing for this?

either way, the pain your feeling right now of withdrawal is something that many of us can relate to, and if i can speak for most- we truly truly feel for ya and will be sending love your way!
i also hope the medical condition you actually have that is causing you so much real pain is also sorted out a little better. icouldn't imagine!

feel better man... *hugs*

 

[Blackhawktown]

No, its all my descision... strictly all me. My life was horrible, saw no friends was a miserable fuck. i just want to go cold turkey but my pain clinic doctor doesn't want me too becuase i been mad depressed.

-But im ready for that, im 20 years old I can live with the pain I have the tolerance was why the medication gets so high.

-I just want to change my life. No NA meetings I don't want that 12 step bs, its mental willpower in my mind. I WANT to CHANGE. I have to get one more surgery but if they write me a script for naroctics its going in the fucking shreeder. This surgery will hopefully make me feel better.

-Thanks tho homie and anyone else who comments much respect and love to all.
good life forever on I hope!

 

[Xtc <3]

I cant offer you any useful information im afraid, all I can do is send you my love.
Hang in there tho bro you can do it, my thoughts will be with you!

*Love and huggles*