• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

my son and heroin

unfortunately,my child has had issues since he was 2.
this is how I realized how it was for MY parents.
and I was fine for the first 14 years...

it's extremely painful to see your own child suffer.I cry just writing about it now.
we are getting help in all areas and doing as best we can.
it's hard.
 
congratulations!
good things can happen when you're acting out of love.
it might be also be a good idea to clarify to your son that he is more important to you
than your boyfriend and that your boyfriend needs to respect your sons sobriety.
 
I know this is a serious thread and I don't mean to make light of it, but I wonder how many people clicked this thread open just to make sure that their mother wasn't posting on BL about them.

I know I did.
 
Al Anon is a support group for family members of addicted persons. It won't help your son, but you can find a lot of support there for yourself.. They have meetings most everywhere AA meets. They should be in the phone book or you can find a meeting by calling Alcoholics Anonymous.
 
Carl Landrover said:
I wonder how many people clicked this thread open just to make sure that their mother wasn't posting on BL about them.
Click to expand...
I'm one of those moms! <3 But I'm trying to get my son to sign up here simply to read up on drugs he might be taking. I can't stop him from trying drugs, but I cannot stress enough to be smart about it. You think he listens? 8)

BB, I'm really pleased that you got him a suboxone appointment. This is really good news! I know it must hurt like hell not having him home with you. My son stole money from me. Then moved on to grandpa once I quit working. Hundreds of dollars at a time and being on a fixed income, it was devastating. So the old man tossed him out but my ex was pursuing custody anyway. I miss him so much.

Trouble is, when someone's in active addiction they just don't consider the consequences. Sure they apologize profusely when confronted but will turn around and do it again and again. How long has your son been homeless and is he at a shelter, staying with friends or on the street? I found a link but I'm not familiar with your area at all. They may offer services to help him get back on his feet anyway.

http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=Riverside&state=CA

Once your son gets clean perhaps your partner will have a change of heart about letting him come back home. Like someone else suggested, Al-anon is a good resource and hopefully help him get past the anger. Let us know how the appointment goes tomorrow. Hang in there! :)
 
He has been homeless for about a month, hes been staying at friends homes whenever he can or sleeping in his truck. I think my bf will have a change of heart if he seesmy son at least trying. Hes done some pretty rotten things, im being optomistic and hoping things turn arround.
 
Carl, its kind of funny to look at it from your prospective, but I really want to learn why my son is doing this and what I can do to help him. I guess its just a mothers instinct to do whatever they can to help their child!!!!!!!
 
Al-anon actually helped me a lot. I did not agree with everything I heard there, but then no one pressured me to. The biggest benefit was understanding and respecting boundaries--how to help without trying to fix, how to have empathy without enabling and excusing, how to take care of yourself when your parental instinct is to focus everything on your child. I went to a group that was specifically for parents which I think helped.

Congratulations on finding the subs doctor. How does your son feel about it?
 
stardust.hero said:
Hi there bb, welcome to Bluelight. Speaking from the other end (as an addict of many drugs one of which being heroin) perhaps I can give you some advice.

While I was addicted my parents tried their hardest to put me through programs, encourage AA, they tried to cut me off from sources of drugs, and overall control my life. This had the backwards magnet effect and I just revolted against everything.

I think the best you can do to help your son is to allow him to know he can trust and confide in you, that he doesn't need to hide or run, and that you will always love him.

Get past the stigmas and the fear and talk to him, ask him about it, what it's like, what he likes about it. Perhaps ask him how long he plans on doing this. Ask him if he truly enjoys it. He will open up and a specific bond will form.

Perhaps you can see what his future goals are. I was currently enrolled in college when one night I went on a particular drug party and my parents found out. Their reaction drove me away and their anger and lack of listening and understand me drove me further and further away. I could have easily gone back to school that Monday after the weekend but they forced me to quit school (to confine me at home where I would be safe--a drug user always finds a way). Had they of told me their disappointment and accepted that I did this and trusted I still could gain footing I would not have spiraled out of control.

I wish you all the luck in the world <3.
Click to expand...


What an excellent post. :)

Best wishes to the O.P. also, but that was a great post stardust.hero.
 
it's great that you found a buprenorphine doctor but don't think that it's some magically cure it can make getting and staying clean much more attainable and easy but it can also be used to not have to go though such harsh withdrawals and make it easier to continue using but love and support is the best you can offer him
 
Just wanted to let everyone know, doctor appointment went great. Monday morning my son does an induction and starts on suboxone. His spirits are lifted, says hes tired of this life. His cousin told him as long as he stays on the suboxone he can live with her, rent free in exchange for yardwork and chores!!!!!! Hoping all goes well...........
 
the people that has your back in early sobriety often becomes key people
in your life.it's the relative you'd least expect sometimes.
it's great when people prove to be more than cold hearted creatures on automatic.

i concentrate on giving back to,in my case,my father and my wife.
your son will most likely become grateful as well.
if he's tired of the life NA can be good.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top