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My sisters won't text me

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evo4ever

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 14, 2016
Messages
1,398
Location
UK
Hello all.

I'll try and keep this short... Over the past 12 months I've had numerous health problems (some serious) and I haven't received a single message from any of my older three sisters asking how I am, however they do ask my mum how I am. Why won't they ask me directly? I don't understand what there problem is because I haven't done anything to them! Has anyone got any theories? The more I think about it the more it upsets me! Help much appreciated!
 
what you could do, is ask them for support in something basic and easy and low friction they can do to help you.

this will ingraciate you to them, and they will slowly let you reconnect, godspeed. 💕
 
evo4ever said:
Hello all.

I'll try and keep this short... Over the past 12 months I've had numerous health problems (some serious) and I haven't received a single message from any of my older three sisters asking how I am, however they do ask my mum how I am. Why won't they ask me directly? I don't understand what there problem is because I haven't done anything to them! Has anyone got any theories? The more I think about it the more it upsets me! Help much appreciated!
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They must care about you or they wouldn’t ask your mother how you are. It’s hard to say without knowing more about your family dynamics why they don’t just ask you themselves. It could just be they are busy, people tend to get caught up in their own problems.

It might help to keep the lines of communication open on your end also. I try to do that with family members by texting once in awhile and asking how they are doing and providing some updates.

I know the times I’ve gotten my feelings hurt it was just a misunderstanding so try not to jump to conclusions. I hope this helps.
 
Have you texted them? Do they respond? Take the initiative and open a conversation with your sisters.
 
My mother is in a similar position with 3 sisters who didn't call for years --- than did on christmas eve.

As much as it hurts my mother she has decided that contact with them is simply not worth it. (They are not good ppl at all)

It is a deep wound for both of us being alone on thanksgiving, xmas, new year, our bdays etc ....... But the better of the two paths.

I do not know your situation but family is to be cherished and unless they really fucked you over I would call them and express your concern for there lack of concern and try and find some common ground --- or decide there can and will be no common ground.
(Very libtard stuff Im sorry)

I believe you are the same person who dismissed me when I said " I have no family aside from my mother " and you replied that you don't believe that to be possible and if it were perhaps it would be our own fault?

Not holding a grudge at all but perhaps that is the advice?
 
The thing is I do reach out to them occasionally but they don't reciprocate which makes me think "is this a one-way relationship?", I suspect they're like this to each other as well. I don't mean to sound vulgar but it feels like the only thing I've got in common with them is we came out of the same hole.
 
How old are you? How old are your sisters? What are their lives like? Are they married with kids? When was the last time you talked to them? Is this the first major health scare any of you has experienced? We need more information here.

Just because they're not reaching out to you directly doesn't mean they don't care. As @kris66 mentioned, they obviously care about you; otherwise, they wouldn't be inquiring about your health status with your mother.

Try to assume goodwill, here.
 
My_Bad_Dude said:
How old are you? How old are your sisters? What are their lives like? Are they married with kids? When was the last time you talked to them? Is this the first major health scare any of you has experienced? We need more information here.

Just because they're not reaching out to you directly doesn't mean they don't care. As @kris66 mentioned, they obviously care about you; otherwise, they wouldn't be inquiring about your health status with your mother.

Try to assume goodwill, here.
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I'm 39, my sisters are 45, 50, and 53. Two of them are married and all of them have kids and they live with their respective partners and they all work. The last time I talked to them in person was Christmas day, I texted two of them wishing them happy new year and they text me back, and the one I never texted never texted me either which shows I always initiate contact and not the other way round. Yeah I suppose they do care but they should text me occasionally like what I do.

Do you want more info about my health?
 
evo4ever said:
I'm 39, my sisters are 45, 50, and 53.
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I figured as much.
evo4ever said:
Two of them are married and all of them have kids and they live with their respective partners and they all work.
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Once again, I figured as much.
evo4ever said:
The last time I talked to them in person was Christmas day, I texted two of them wishing them happy new year and they text me back, and the one I never texted never texted me either which shows I always initiate contact and not the other way round. Yeah I suppose they do care but they should text me occasionally like what I do.
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I'm a little confused about this comment. You said you texted two of them wishing them a happy New Year, and they DID text you back? Or they DID NOT text you back? Either way, it really doesn't matter. I think I know what is going on.
evo4ever said:
Do you want more info about my health?
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If you want to share more information about your health, that's up to you. At this point, I don't feel I need any more information to tell you what is likely going on: Your sisters are almost surely scared. Scared for you, and scared for themselves. With all they have going on in their lives, they simply don't have the strength to talk to you about your ailments. It's simply too much for them to handle. So they talk to your Mom instead.

Whatever you do, don't take it personally. Stay strong, stay loving, and stay kind. I can't emphasize this aspect enough.

Stay strong 💪 Have Faith 🙌 And best of luck🤞
 
Usually there is one person in the family who takes over the role of communication, often the oldest female. I never thought about this until my mother died while I was fairly young. (I was 30)

I realized after her death that if anyone was going to take over this role it would have to be me as no one else was. I started deliberately checking up on everybody else and communicating what was going on to the rest of the family.

It sounds to me like this has been your mother’s role in the family. This isn’t bad in itself but perhaps the others have gotten somewhat lazy.

That’s my attempt at psychoanalysis, LOL.
 
^Accurate.

My mother is the oldest sister and quarterbacked family communications for decades. Hosted thanksgiving etc

Now that she is not doing it there is very little communication as noone was willing to take the role. (Well they could be together everyday for all I know but im not seeing it)
 
notsmokeymcpot42088 said:
^Accurate.

My mother is the oldest sister and quarterbacked family communications for decades. Hosted thanksgiving etc

Now that she is not doing it there is very little communication as noone was willing to take the role. (Well they could be together everyday for all I know but im not seeing it)
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I think this happens quite a bit, unfortunately.

It sounds like the mother in this case must be getting up in age also, late 70’s? Time for someone else to make an effort.
 
They probably don't like you're male chauvinist pig jerking off guy male friends no matter what they're age skin color or size weight name or country of origin or politics or religion. Forget. CHRIST. Forgive GOD. Forgive and forget.
 
kris66 said:
I think this happens quite a bit, unfortunately.

It sounds like the mother in this case must be getting up in age also, late 70’s? Time for someone else to make an effort.
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Early 70's and you are correct -- by the end it was getting to be too much for her.

That is far far from the reasons we had to cut contact with them. We woulda been willing to do the extra effort. I posted a thread about it somewhere but if you wanna know what happened feel free to message. (It is a pretty ugly picture though I will warn you)
 
Yeah my mother is 73 and she always acts like the "go between" when it comes to communication between me and my sisters. It's just a bit weird the way we don't talk to each other directly.
 
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