Dear bern!
Wow!
When I first read your post, my first decision was that I would not reply back, as BL is not a place to argue with each other. But it is really hard to be put down and accused of lying, ect, and. To not be able to defend yourself. I'm not sure why you are so upset and bothered by me, or why you think my story is a lie. This is my story-the good and the bad. It is the only story I have. I came here for support. I knew I was going to be trying this on my own and I was hoping I could get support and information here
I will try to answer your concerns:
#1-t3 has 30 mg of codeine and needs a prescription
T1 has 8mg of codeine and can be purchased OTC
#2-CWE-cold water extract. This is done by addicts that don't want to kill themselves by taking too much APAP ( acetaminophen). If I were to take enough t1's to get the codeine I need, I would have to take approx 80 pills. The amount of APAP would kill me-so I take 80-100 of them, grind them in a bullet, then perform the CWE on them and I'm left with a small glass of codiene water that is by far the most disgusting thing I have ever injested in my life. Sadly, I'm pretty good at doing CWE's
#3-blue pills-I don't know what to tell you. I found these pills and no one was able to identify them. I tried all the on line sites and I asked here on BL as well, which is actually not allowed and I got in trouble from a moderator
Perhaps you are able to identify them
#4- my looks. -I think that in all my 136 posts, I have only ever talked about my looks in detail once. Maybe I mentioned them before-seems like you would know better than me! I'm far from obsessed with how I look. I've never been bothered by my age-my husband is 10 years older than me, so I really never think about it. I'm a plain, ok-looking middle aged women. It's been years since I have paid much attention to how I look, and I can't tell you the last time I bought myself clothes. Because I have been really down on myself since I lost my job, and ex-employee actually picked me up and took me to a spa where they did my hair and my eyelashes. They did my nails too, but I don't think I posted that. It simply made me feel better. A kind gesture from a kind person, and I felt "pretty" for the day. I'm sorry that made you angry and upset. I wonder what kind of person you are
#5- money talk-I agree that I should never have talked about money. This is the first forum I have ever posted on and I haven't always posted appropriately. I guess you learn as you go. I was posting. Whatever was happening in my life and I now know that some things are not ok to post.
At the end of the day, money can't be the most important thing. Our family is going to learn to live with less and its and simple as that
#6- catching me in lies? It sounds like you are obsessed with me. If you have read and re read all my posts. I have never done that before. Creepy?
Perhaps I will go through my thread myself one day and see if I either posted something wrong , or if I wasn't clear about something, or whatever else. But I can tell you I have never lied on my thread. Why in the world would I do that? Why would anyone do that? I didn't come here to share my perfect wonderful life. I'm not looking for admiration like you say. My lIfe is so fucked up I'm pretty sure there is nothing admirable about it. I am an embarrassment to myself and my family.
I came here on BL to see about support. To get some advice This has become a place I look forward to coming to. I do t make too ma y posts because I don't think I have much to offer. I don't give advice because I don't feel qualified. But I have reached out and offered my support to a few people on BL, including yourself. There are a few people on BL that I have made "cyber friends" with and they have become very important to me
I am sorry you are bitter and angry. You do not know me and I have never said a mean word to you. I'm feeling pretty beat up in life right now, I really didn't need you to beat me up too
I certainly hope you feel better now
Peace
