Tomorrow will be day 1 (again!!) no idea why I always fall back.. I love it at first but then I honestly hate it!! I hate how I feel on it, how I treat my husband, how I feel my normal natural patience slip away from me when with my children. I've never hit rock bottom as such but I'm also not living my best life at all! I finally found the strength through praying and opening the bible again and I flushed all my remaining crap down the loo. I hate that all it takes is some weight gain, a big event, a messy house or exhaustion to push me back to the crap so easily.. and how once I start it always ends up being a daily thing for a few months.. the thought of going without would terrify me. I'm not scared anymore but I know I need to be accountable and honest in a safe place.. this is my fist time posting! I need to make this serious and be honest with myself this time.. and hopefully hear from people who are also beginning this journey or those who have clean time already and can motivate me, help me, hear me.. and I hope to do the same for you!