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My quitting thread

mewkittyblu said:
The thing about quitting is the more youre sober the more you realize the damage youve done. Like.. no im not sober yet but im on way less than i used to be and its allowing me to think and now im like, why did i waste so much time being all fucked up on drugs? I couldve been doung so many better things.

Pretty sober right now and i feel kind of down. No motivation.

I HATE this.

Im goung to see ny man tmrw. The old me wouldve had the music up and wouldve been blasting our favorite songs as i pack, happy, in a good mood, looking forward to being there with him, excited, daydreaming, enjoying picking out outfits for the trip, ect. Just... happy.

Instead im just like.. i feel numb. Like im looking forward to going but its like my brain doesnt know how to get pleasure from anything.

Idk. I hope it doesnt stay like this. I just want my old self back. I want to feel. Please.
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You're doing great. You will get your old self back, but you're going to have to work for it. Start building some positive momentum. If I were you I'd introduce one positive habit into your routine, and commit yourself to sustaining that. I recommend either exercise or meditation - both are effective, though IME exercise is more suitable for your first keystone habit. Once you start moving in the right direction you'll improve your discipline and willpower, so not feeling motivated will become an irrelevant problem.
 
Thanks, ive been exercising but really sporadically.. im committing to doing it daily starting tmrw tho. I do remember how good it feels to do it on a regular basis.
 
For me the real trick was being determined. I spent every day for about 2 months as I was trying and failing to taper telling myself I was going to finish the rest and be done done done. I really think the determination I had carried me past the roughest parts and even though I feel a little weak now on day 5 CT I am still thrilled it's over. Good luck and hang in there. Remember, it can always be worse.
 
I think i might just get on methadone tmrw,, for a short term detox, maybe 30 days.

My trip went well but i had to take about 80 mg of methadone pills each day to feel decent. Id actually thought id get by on 40. I thought id brought my habit down a bit with the taper. Maybe i did, but i just want to get this over with, and with tapering its hard to know if u made any progress or not. Did i let myself feel sick enough today? For long enough to do anything?

So i think its methadone tmrw.
 
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