amediocrity
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2016
- Messages
- 43
Hey guys
So nearly two weeks ago I confessed to my fiancé about my problem with kratom. She was upset but didn't leave me like I thought she would. We'd been through this before with opiates so I thought she would have had enough of the lying to be honest.
I managed to stay clean for a torturous 10 days, but last night I caved and used a VERY small dose of kratom in some tea. I don't even quite know why. I think I just wanted five minutes of comfort.
The thing is, my mood has been so out of whack lately, which is to be expected, but she doesn't understand that. I've tried to explain to her how it works, but this morning she told me it has been over a week since I started withdrawling and I should be completely better now. She's basically bored waiting for me to be happy and back to my old self. She's also snapped at me, saying it is my fault I'm in this position and I have effectively chosen to ruin our relationship.
This is very frustrating and hurtful, not least because it means I don't feel I have an ally in her and it could well have contributed to my small relapse last night (which I didn't feel comfortable telling her about, obviously).
Is there anyway I can make her understand what it's like from my end? I know it must be tough for her too, I get that. I just can't help but feel I'm getting the worse end of the deal. I'm trying here, but I'm being made to feel guilty all the time.
Anyone else have any experience with this sort of thing???
So nearly two weeks ago I confessed to my fiancé about my problem with kratom. She was upset but didn't leave me like I thought she would. We'd been through this before with opiates so I thought she would have had enough of the lying to be honest.
I managed to stay clean for a torturous 10 days, but last night I caved and used a VERY small dose of kratom in some tea. I don't even quite know why. I think I just wanted five minutes of comfort.
The thing is, my mood has been so out of whack lately, which is to be expected, but she doesn't understand that. I've tried to explain to her how it works, but this morning she told me it has been over a week since I started withdrawling and I should be completely better now. She's basically bored waiting for me to be happy and back to my old self. She's also snapped at me, saying it is my fault I'm in this position and I have effectively chosen to ruin our relationship.
This is very frustrating and hurtful, not least because it means I don't feel I have an ally in her and it could well have contributed to my small relapse last night (which I didn't feel comfortable telling her about, obviously).
Is there anyway I can make her understand what it's like from my end? I know it must be tough for her too, I get that. I just can't help but feel I'm getting the worse end of the deal. I'm trying here, but I'm being made to feel guilty all the time.
Anyone else have any experience with this sort of thing???