My Opiate Addiction

[wonderlandgrl]

Im 27 and I have been using opiates for over three years now. I used to do a pill here and there when I got paid or on the weekend but for the last 3 years I am physically addicted to oxycodone. I have tried to stop but the withdrawals are terribly painful. I get to day 3 of cold turkey off pills and I relapse or take a suboxone until I can get a pill again. I am stuck in a vicious cycle of drug abuse. Everything I had when I started pills I.no longer have. My addiction to percocet takes every ounce of my energy. I do nothing but self medicate. I grew up around drugs and was the last of my family to give in. My younger sister was on heroin and my older sister is addicted to.pills and lost her husband to an overdose in 2012. That's the year my life went to hell and every day since is just a hunt for a pill to not be sick. To get out of bed and put makeup on isn't even a priority anymore. If im sick ill just lay there in pain not wanting to do anything. I hate the pills but I know one line will make me feel good enough to function. I get to day 3 and always take a sub or do a pill. The RLS is what used to be my worse symptom early on along with feeling like I have a cold but now within the first day im puking and didn't eat for 3 days while I was sick until I took a sub. I want to know that I can overcome this and take my life back. The pills have stolen everything even sometimes my hope. I feel stuck.

 

[w0w0mg]

You can do it , it takes time, and will power and I know you can.
I am using Kratom and xanax and it's been helping a lot.
Try Gabapentin too that helps so much with the RLS - you just need some comfort meds to get thru the worst of it.

 

[Phil.McKeer]

Why can't you just use the subs to taper off? Get back to the point where you take a sub to feel well for a few days...except the next day instead of taking your DOC, take half the mg's of subutex/suboxone you took before, and keep going...

You'll eventually get to the point in a week or so where you're only dosing 0.5 or 0.25mg of buprenorphine/day, and that's when you can jump off and go back to being "normal" - although there will still of course be some discomfort/difficulty but this is the least painful way to do it, rather than going CT a bunch of times, making it 3 days (72 hours of CT withdrawal is TORTURE - why repeat it again)...

 

[Erikmen]

Good that you decided to quit. Come down and don't think of other case other than yours.
I don't know how much you've been taking but it should not last more than 5-7 days.
Can you get some medical assistance? There are simple medications that will help you go through this phase.
Most of us have been in your shoes, so take it easy and thing about how you want to do this.
The quitting part is easier than to stay sober. Don't let your fear get into this.
If there is anyone that can assist you during these first days you will probably fell better, if not do search for medical assistance.

I don't think you need subs right now. This will just get your withdrawals precipitated and later it's going to be harder issue to deal with. So try to keep it simple and take small steps at at a time. You are young and you will not want to be attached to other related medications before you try doing it right, calmly and with proper assistance.

They are many threads here in BL that can help you with recovery, from day 1.
Come down. Get some assistance and remember that right now this is all about getting these 5 -7 days behind you. Remember that most of us have been in your shoes. You can do this!

Good luck and PM me if you want to.
Erik.

 

[wonderlandgrl]

Why can't you just use the subs to taper off? Get back to the point where you take a sub to feel well for a few days...except the next day instead of taking your DOC, take half the mg's of subutex/suboxone you took before, and keep going...

You'll eventually get to the point in a week or so where you're only dosing 0.5 or 0.25mg of buprenorphine/day, and that's when you can jump off and go back to being "normal" - although there will still of course be some discomfort/difficulty but this is the least painful way to do it, rather than going CT a bunch of times, making it 3 days (72 hours of CT withdrawal is TORTURE - why repeat it again)...

Yes it is pure torture. I don't know what medications I should ask for bit I definitely need something for my RLS and my stomach problems. If I can calm down those symptoms and take about 20 hot baths I know I could make it through the physical withdrawal. Im tired of going through cold turkey w/d every month for atleast 3 days and giving up. I appreciate all the support and most of all the kindness of everyone instead of putting me down. Thank you

 

[wonderlandgrl]

Good that you decided to quit. Come down and don't think of other case other than yours.
I don't know how much you've been taking but it should not last more than 5-7 days.
Can you get some medical assistance? There are simple medications that will help you go through this phase.
Most of us have been in your shoes, so take it easy and thing about how you want to do this.
The quitting part is easier than to stay sober. Don't let your fear get into this.
If there is anyone that can assist you during these first days you will probably fell better, if not do search for medical assistance.

I don't think you need subs right now. This will just get your withdrawals precipitated and later it's going to be harder issue to deal with. So try to keep it simple and take small steps at at a time. You are young and you will not want to be attached to other related medications before you try doing it right, calmly and with proper assistance.

They are many threads here in BL that can help you with recovery, from day 1.
Come down. Get some assistance and remember that right now this is all about getting these 5 -7 days behind you. Remember that most of us have been in your shoes. You can do this!

Good luck and PM me if you want to.
Erik.

Thank you Eric. I don't want to replace the pills with subs either because I've heard they are harder to come off of. I've heard good things about gabapentin and yes I can see a DR. Im just afraid of being turned away if they know of my addiction. Instead of being ashamed and hiding I should be glad im trying to change my life. Been living a secret painful life for years. I don't get.high anymore I just get well. Im otherwise healthy and I want to stop poisoning myself with pain pills

 

[wonderlandgrl]

You can do it , it takes time, and will power and I know you can.
I am using Kratom and xanax and it's been helping a lot.
Try Gabapentin too that helps so much with the RLS - you just need some comfort meds to get thru the worst of it.

Yes I believe if I had the right medicines to calm my withdrawal I could do it. If I can go 3 days I know.I can do 5 and from then on im hoping the physical pain will be over. With the right medicine and food or drinks I think I could overcome this. I take atleast 60 to 90 mg of oxycodone to make it through the day and sleep at night. Im ready to control my life and cut the opiates out. They are hell and nothing good will ever come of it.

 

[Runtoparadise]

I also went through endless CTs, although I was prescribed oxy for pain. After a few years I could never control my self medicating & would run out every single month & wd for three to five days.

It is endless torture, but it's also the allure of opiates. Another poster mentioned Gabapentin though I used lyrica instead to cushion the fall from a dose many, many times higher than what you're taking.

So many of us have been where you are, so you'll get no jugdment here. I'm now on bupe as it helps my pain but I don't crave it.

There's plenty of threads regarding meds, supplements etc to help with the physical distress of wding from opiates. Psychologically, many find starting a support thread such as you've done great for the mental & emotional aspect.

If you can't get your hands on a few days worth of lyrica (pregabalin), then my top tips are loperamide & ready made meal replacement drinks to help you through.

All the best,

Rtp

 

[wonderlandgrl]

I also went through endless CTs, although I was prescribed oxy for pain. After a few years I could never control my self medicating & would run out every single month & wd for three to five days.

It is endless torture, but it's also the allure of opiates. Another poster mentioned Gabapentin though I used lyrica instead to cushion the fall from a dose many, many times higher than what you're taking.

So many of us have been where you are, so you'll get no jugdment here. I'm now on bupe as it helps my pain but I don't crave it.

There's plenty of threads regarding meds, supplements etc to help with the physical distress of wding from opiates. Psychologically, many find starting a support thread such as you've done great for the mental & emotional aspect.

If you can't get your hands on a few days worth of lyrica (pregabalin), then my top tips are loperamide & ready made meal replacement drinks to help you through.

All the best,

Rtp

I'm going to stock up on pepto, immodium (loperamide) ibuprofen, and going to see my physician to get some gabapentin or lyrica. And I'm going to give this my all and not give up. Tired of going through the pain, everytime I relapse I start back at square one and I'm don't repeating this hell

 

[Runtoparadise]

That's it, you get to a point & think why the fuck am I doing this to myself. You go girl!!!

Rtp