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My most recent revalation

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Bluelight Crew
Joined
Sep 10, 2001
Messages
18,841
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BROOKLYN
This is a feeling you dont know
To be this close to the edge, to be this far apart
from all other people, to be this alone
When the word friend has become alien
And the word home doesnt exist
My only company is the blistering cold
You think Im depressed? Im fucking insane.
Ive worked so hard, but what have I gained?
All I ever did was try, and I was always on top
But you nock me right back down
All I want to do is cry
All I want to do is die
All you can do for me is lie
Ive carried this burden my whole life
You remind me, of what Ill never be
You remind me, of what I cannot have
You remind me, of what I really am
My only emotion is nausia
I am no one?
I have nothing?
I have no home?
I have no heart?
Every time I raise my head
I feel the impact, and the blood flow in my mouth
But I diddn't care, I'd fight till dead
But you wont let me have that either
Instead, im kept like this, constantly rising
And falling in line, thrown down defenseless
And held behind. Everyone I loved has died.
But why? I only wanna help mankind.
To make people smile, to love,
and to feel human inside.
But no one knows of the war inside my head
I cant sleep at night, this has to stop
I am no one?
I have nothing?
I have no home?
I have no heart?
This world looks like a giant organism, a giant suicide machine, bent on bitterness and greed
I could have been your worst enemy,
I could have destroyed everything you see,
But im too strong for that, I've always been
But lately you've been making me weak
Alone I travel, so be it, thats fine
Youll never steal my peace of mind
My own anger that keeps me alive
My own hate that keeps me warm inside
Afraid to live, afraid to love
Afraid to be close, my greatist phobia exposed
I cannot let anyone in this world see
My agony, my reality
So fueled by hate Ill bring you down
And next time you remind me, im not going to turn
the other cheek no, you will see my fist
you will see my strike
you will feel my rage
And I, for once in my life, shall be satisfied...
How easy, how easy it is to deny the pain of someone else's suffering...
I AM NO ONE
 
Awwww...sweetheart.
It's funny how were build this invisible bountry, around us..when we have alot of built up emotions, never to show. Sometimes, we feel as if noone knows or noone cares, "why should they?" You always think to yourself. No matter what the problems we find to exist in our lives, we all come down on ourselfs the same way.
Hating ourself, inside and out. Everything around us. I've been down this road one to many times before. Sometimes, when you at your all time low and you don't think that you can take anymore, someone shows up when least expected.
And they will be there with a listening ear, and then you look back and think to yourself, why did I let myself waste time on hating this life, and understanding that you should be out seeing your problems through someone else's eyes.
And I know how a troubled mind never sleeps easy through the night, and it's when the worries hear the quietness, revenage on peaceful energy.
It will all grow better with time, and I know it's not easy to take in...but with each day you'll leave alittle behind...
Cheer up...*hugZ* from your frosty
 
Wood,
Your are special to me buddie, Listen I used to feel the same way. Take that broken spirit and fill it with the holy spirit, the spirit of the sword and apply love within and without ,and it will fill your heart with so much joy. Listen please, you have helped me in so many ways, words cannot express.
damnt man, you made me cry does that mean anything to you, I feel your pain, I am reaching out to ya now, can you feel me. Listen to yourself, your awesome.
Your song is a melody unfolding each day, keep singing
[ 30 May 2002: Message edited by: nvr2old ]
 
wow, thanks man, ^^^ thats sweet.
this isnt like an emotion i had the other day or anything, its actually more of a metaphor for events that have happened in my life. im generally more content and satisfied with myself and my life right now than I ever was, I just felt like surging out some past emotions in words...im not something to worry about ;)
but thanks nvr2old, u made me smile hehe. YOU TOO FROSTY :-*
might i inquire though, how i have helped you? im quite curious :)
 
Brought me to the Light in so many ways, in your posts and writings, was it by accident that I got on the internet at this time, first times in my life, after suffering threw two major opperations, and God saving me. Well then I needed to save myself, and walllahh here all this positive energy, you and everyone on bl, has brought me to a new awakening,(by accident) I don't think so, are paths have crossed for a reason. Peace and Much Love To ya Wood, by the way got a little secret for ya read your e-mail!
OOps, I am on AOL it sucks.
[ 01 June 2002: Message edited by: nvr2old ]
 
No, that's sis to ya, I am a girl, everyone thinks I'm a guy, maybe in my writing I bring out the male side of me. LOL anyways, ya did't get my secret, E-mail me if ya can
Peace and no I don't have the hots for ya LOL
 
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