My mom can tell when i'm high on Heroin

Yeah title pretty much says it all. She can tell everytime even when i'm not nodding. No one else can tell even my friends who use hard drugs. Shit's annoying man because i'm trying to hide this heroin problem from her but no dice. She also loves to gossip so pretty much all my relatives know that I use drugs. She didn't tell them about my heroin use but they think I smoke weed and pop percs (which I do but it's none of their fucking business un

While my stepdad goes nuts on me for every little fuck up. I hit a curb with my car a few months bag, no damage, but he starts yelling at me calling me a fuck up who shouldn't drive and shit. This is just an example of shit that happens daily. I use more then one paper towel while eating...i'm a piece of shit fuck up. He says that I will thank him later for being so hard on me, he's so fucking delusional. I will be thankful when my part-time job becomes a full-time job and i'm able to move out of this shithole. How do you expect me to deal with this emotional abuse on a daily basis without killing myself? Why heroin of course! Klonopin also helps me sleep more, and care less, but the heroin is doing modt ofdfff........*nods off*

 

edit: Sorry about the long post I got carried away.

Lol it's crazy how similar that sounds to my situation. Sorry if you feel I'm hijacking, it's just that what you wrote is all so damn familiar.. I don't know about you, but I find it good to know that I'm not the only one having SO much problems with this.

About your mom noticing; it's weird, but also normal. She's (probably) the person who knows you best. She will notice you're acting differently. Even if it's only a little and you think you're acting perfectly normal, a mother can tell. My mom can tell when I'm stoned, (NO ONE can, except for her) when I'm on benzos (even if it's a "low" dose), and when I'm on opiates. The weird thing is she can tell which of these I'm high on. (She has never noticed when I'm on uppers, alcohol or even psychedelics.. Weird stuff.)

I have the stepdad problem too. He's a douche in a different way. If I do "something wrong" (in his eyes) aka take drugs he won't get mad at me. He'll get mad at my mom for not being stricter with me. He knows that if he gets mad at me and starts calling me a piece of shit and a junkie, it turns into a shouting competition while we're standing 2cm from eachothers face, I will not let anyone talk to me that way. There are other ways to have a conversation.. I never start a fight, it's always him. He gets angry unless everything happens exactly the way he wants it to, often he fights with my mom for no reason at all atleast 2-3 times a week. (example: he wants to go out to a restaurant for dinner, but my mom doesn't feel like it -> He gets angry) Result: My mom's upset. Fucking son of a bitch. When I wanna talk to my mom I have to make sure he's not around because otherwise he'll start bitching against her. I don't give a fuck what he thinks anymore, but my mom does so she never tells him when "I get caught" with a drug, or meds that aren't valium or tramadol and she's always scared of his reaction so she keeps alot to herself. I would very much prefer it if he just came to me if he has a problem with my behaviour, but no.. Instead he blames my mom and acts like a stubborn child. We haven't said a word to eachother in six months now which is really alot of fun at the dinner table..
I only put up with his shit because I don't wanna be the reason for them to split up. Though I think he does NOT deserve someone as kind as my mother AT ALL.

She also told all my relatives and all her friends. When a relative or a friend of theirs comes over for dinner, I make sure I'm not at home. Fuck that because, as you said, it's none of their business and my mom ruined that for me. I used to stay for these dinners, but now I'm always full of anxiety because I feel like they are judging me. Sometimes the guests even bring it up which proves they see me as an addict and nothing more.

My dad is worse in that regard though. He, ofcourse, told the other side of the family, his friends and hell, even the entire neighbourhood knows because they BBQ together sometimes. ("Luckily" I don't have contact with my dad's part of my family anymore because of some shit that happened like 10 years back so I don't have to deal with that.)
What's even worse is that he gossips about me against complete strangers (his patients, he's a physical therapist) Then he'll tell me "everyone I talk to agrees you're not doing well". Well big fucking deal coming from some random who doesn't even know me and vice versa. One time he came home with a phone number for this psychiatrist. A patient of his.. Stuff like that. Really pisses me off.

 

It's cool dude i'm glad you could relate and it's good to know i'm not alone in dealing with this shit. Feel free to rant on my blog anytime you want .

Anyway I can also really relate to the part where your stepdad always blames your mom for everything. My stepdad does the exact same shit, he fucking talks shit about her to ME behind her back! WTF type of shit is that? I love my mom and I hate hearing him talk so much shit about her but I can't do anything about it because my stepdad is a big, strong man with serious anger problems. He brags about how tough and successful he is but in reality he's such a fucking pussy always blaming everything on me and my mom. The guy has never taking responsibility for anything, he's always fucking right. Anyway I could rant about this all day since it pisses me the fuck off but i'll stop for the sake of my nerves.