my mdma "addiction"

[hellbent]

i always hear arguements about mdma's addictiveness. i still dont really know what i think either, but this is what ive found after doing a very large amount of mdma for a while

yesterday will hopefully be my last time doing mdma for a while(well it was actually mda that time), ive cut down a bit but for a few months until about a month ago i was doing it probably 20 times a month. I dont really think i ever had an actual physical addiction to it, but i had a STRONG mental addiction to it. even if i was well rested i would always feel dead out of energy until i had some. the last night of that binge i ate a gram of mdma parachutes and snorted 1.7 grams making it 2.7 total. i hate people that try to brag about how many drugs theyve done so thats not whjat im saying, but the tolerance you can build to taht stuff is insane. i never thought of m that way before, but for a bit it felt like a had a coke addiction, just with m. i got it so cheap for a while that it was just too hard not to,
<We can't discuss prices on Bluelight, sorry dude - n3o>. last night i did it one last time like i said hopefully, but i hadnt done it in about a week and a half, which for me is long enough to lower my tolerance a bit. either way i only got 6 pills last night, and i normally hate pills and only do powder, but they were by far the best pills ive ever had. ate 4 and snorted the other two, and for whatever reason i felt as high if not higher than the first time i tried m. i dont think they even had mdma in them, but it was a very clean feeling alternative with a lot more visuals, im guessing mda which im not sure if ive ever had before.

im now moving to a place where its so expensive and hard to find that it wont be a problem(thats not why im moving tho). So i dont know what you can take from that big rant but maybe itll help someone. The stuff can sneak up on you, i liked jsut havign the extra energy about as much as the high its self. all that being said, i honestly can say that i dont think its had to many effects on me apart from bad memory for about a week or two after a binge, but after about 10 days usually im back to normal. i also drink enough juice each day to get about 900% of my daily vitamin c which can minimize neurotoxic effects along with some other vitamins. and i also take 5 htp fairly often, and i also ski 5 hours everyday so im pretty active.(haha and most people havent tried it but i can honestly say that skiing on mdma is better than sex on mdma or anything at all that ive done in my life, it gives you the most amazing feeling and rush to just hit a jump rip some powder or just go really fast, but im done with that now obviously)

i guess at this point im doing ok and could probly continue this on a bit longer with out too much bad happening, but i just see no need for that at this point, ive had my fun going crazy with that drug, now ill probably only have it once or twice a month and just start doing psychedelics more. Im just so glad that i dont like coke, like id honestly rather be sober than be on coke, but if i did like it as much as i do mdma then i would probably have some pretty big issues.

 

[Bidcore]

I don't beleive you can get a physical addiction to MDMA, just a psychological one. However, the psychological withdrawals may be that bad that physical attributes are manifested.
Good to hear you are laying off MDMA. I can't beleive you can get it so easy though... I had the chance to get the pure powder and stupidly only bought only 3 points. Those 3 points of powder cost about as much as 3 pills lol DAMN I WISH I BOUGHT MORE!!!

 

[hellbent]

yea well i live in canada, which im pretty sure is now the worlds biggest producer. my best dealer buys direct from a lab thats in my town, and on top of him i have about 10 other dealers all with in 15 minuts of my house. its just really popular out here, weed mdma and blow are all really easy to find, and weed and mdma are really cheap and really high quality but for whatever reason blow is normally like <snip> a g here and its always cut to shit.

 

[Bidcore]

Dude in australia blow is about 5 times the price of canadian lol you're lucky

 

[n3ophy7e]

hellbent, I can really relate to your experiences with MDMA. Me and my boyfriend abused it for about 4 years, and we were completely oblivious at the time but now we look back on those years we can definitely admit that we were addicted. There was absolutely NO WAY that we could even imagine a weekend without taking ecstacy. It didn't matter if we were going to a rave (which, most weekends we did), or if we were just at home, or going to the pub, absolutely anywhere. It always had to somehow incorporate MDMA.

Regarding tolerance, I wholeheartedly agree with you on that. At the height of my usage, I could take 6 pills and it would have ABSOLUTELY NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER. And this was back when pills were actually high quality. I would never bother taking more than 6 even if they had no effect because my financial situation didn't allow me to buy more than that each weekend. If I'd had more money I would've definitely bought and taken more to try and reach the desired effect.

But it was at that stage when MDMA was having absolutely no effect on me that I realised: hey, I'm probably doing this too often and in too high dosages...time for a break.

Adjusting to a non-ecstacy lifestyle was really awkward for me. Yeah, awkward is the best way to describe it really. I just didn't know what to do in order to have a good time. I'd go out to the pub or to a party at a friend's house, and just not really know how to enjoy myself. So that was pretty much when I started drinking heavily, which is a whooooole lot worse in terms of addiction!!! I'm still struggling with my drinking to this day, I am both physically and psychologically addicted.

So my advice would be to make sure you don't substitute your MDMA usage for an alcohol addiction, or any other addiction for that matter! That is far far worse. Good luck, and you've made the right choice to give MDMA a rest

 

[hellbent]

So my advice would be to make sure you don't substitute your MDMA usage for an alcohol addiction, or any other addiction for that matter! That is far far worse. Good luck, and you've made the right choice to give MDMA a rest

nah i dont see my self ever having that problem, i actually havent gotten drunk in about 2 and a half months, like i have a few drinks now and again to relax and get a nice buzz, but i almost never get drunk. Alcohol and coke are by far my two least favorite drugs. I was never into "hard drugs" that much. I was really at first just a huge stoner that would go around smokin tons of weed all day listening to reggae haha. Then i got into a lot of psycadelics which i still love. Ecstacy came after at point when i was doing a lot of mushrooms. I liked it because although theyre not really alike in any way, it just felt like combining a hard drug with some kind of a psycadelic. For example my ultimate high is candy flipping. Ive snorted large amounts of oxy or coke for my tolerance before and havegotten pretty fucking high off of them, yet i never really felt a need for them, coke normally makes me want to never do it again. So if im goig to "replace" mdma with anything it would just be something like acid or mushies once or twice a week.

To be honest it hasnt been to hard, but id say that i have a good amount of will power. Im pretty low on energy and just chilled at home all yesterday and will probly do the same today. Ive never really been very depressed before, ive always lived a really good life and still do, but it is hitting me pretty hard now, presumably from all the missing seratonin. but if i just try to focus on the fact that the drug is causing the depression and not an actual real problem, it helps a lot.

 

[n3ophy7e]

So if im goig to "replace" mdma with anything it would just be something like acid or mushies once or twice a week.

Once or twice a week is too often to be using psychedelics long-term. Aim for using them once every 2-3 months maximum, otherwise you'll probably begin to run in to the same problems as you're experiencing with MDMA.

Ive never really been very depressed before, ive always lived a really good life and still do, but it is hitting me pretty hard now, presumably from all the missing seratonin. but if i just try to focus on the fact that the drug is causing the depression and not an actual real problem, it helps a lot.

Yep, and the good news is that your brain's chemistry will balance itself out and repair the damage as time goes by. The longer you give yourself a break from drugs, the better you will feel.

 

[Thick_as_a_Planck]

Hmmm... giving up on any drug sounds good to me. But I'm a little worried that you casually mentioned you'd start on psychedelics instead. You don't want to simply exchange one drug for another. People might have told you that ps aren't physically addictive. But then, to the best of my knowledge, neither is e. You might find yourself mentally addicted to LSD three months down the road, so just be careful.

I don't want to sound like your mother or anything. You've made a decent enough choice about MDMA, it sounds like you know what you're doing. But be aware the same dangers apply to all drugs.

And please don't try and ski on acid.