Hi,
I've abused MDMA from october to NYE last year. This forum and others has been a great source of information for me, but I couldn't find too much on short term mdma abuse. So today im sharing my experience here to add my little bit of anecdotal wisdom.
To keep this post, i will not go into extreme detail of every roll, but if people want to hear more on how things developed i will comment with more details and link it here.
Obviously what i have done was gravely irresponsible, do not reenact at home etc.
the abuse
october 2024 i got my hands on 1 gram of mdma. I've some drugs experience, but all very incidental, only substance i've an abusive relation with is alcohol. I started out with a 50mg dose, just to get to know the drug, and I also had work the next day. I had a nice super pleasant mild roll. I knew about the 3 month rule, but the dosage was so low, i figured Id do a real dose a few days later. A few days later i had my best roll ever, if you have used mdma you know those first rolls are the best.
In the next few weeks i started taking small amounts twice or so per week. Everytime some lame excuse, one more wont hurt after that ill take a break! I was chasing that amazing second roll, but i never could get there. Id start with a normal dose of 100-150mg, get a nice roll, but not as mind blowing as that second one. Id up the dosage, which helped for a bit, but then quickly the euphoria started to fade and i was compulsively redosing. I'd have binge sessions lasting 12-24 hours, of which all the magic and euphoria was always gone in the last 5-12 hours.
I kept this up until december or so. I used 3.5 grams over the 3 months. At that point even the initial dose wouldnt really have the desired effects. Id get a buzz, a slight feeling of being content, but that was it. Besides that only side effects, sweating, blurry vision, eyes shaking. Nothing really unpleasant, but the rolls were more negative effects than positive at this point.
I took a 2 week break or so, had some nac and took care of my body. I was extremely tired for 3 or 4 days, but besides that, i had no negative after effects. I wasnt depressed or noticed any significant cognitive effects. Maybe a little less focused, but difficult to say objectively.
At NYE i used for the last time in a while. I was at a party and had ~0.4 gram or so with me. I started with a small dose, 75 mgs, and the euphoria was extremely minimal, but there were waves of it here and there. I liked how social it made me, so during the evening I kept redosing like 50mg every hour or two. I was drinking a few beers, but nothing crazy. This was actually quite enjoyable, the euphoria and magic were gone after the first 2 or 3 hours, but it made me very social and I had a great time.
aftermath
After that I didn't use for quite some time. I was extremely tired for half a week or so, but besides that, I didn't have any negative consequences. I feel fine, similar to how I was before ever taking MDMA I think. I took some nac every day, and yesterday I finished the mdma I had left, a single dose of 175 mgs. It was the best roll I've had in a while, but it still pales to the second roll I had a few months ago. Music sounded the same to me, I was more social, and had some mild euphoria, but that was rather short lived. Colors seemed slightly more vivid during the one hour peak, but so minimal that it might have been in my head. I did feel a tiny bit of the lovey feeling again, but again, like 10% of what the small early doses used to do.
future
I'm going to hold off on the mdma for at least a year, see if that changes things. I didn't expect that the 2+ month break would bring back all effects in full, but I had hoped on a little more. While it was one of the better recent rolls, it was so underwhelming that I don't think it will be difficult to stay off it for the near future.
I know saying I lost the magic might be a little too soon, I really do need to give it a lot more time, but the change in effects with that 2 month break were so incredibly minimal that I don't have high expectations.
If you like this drug, I'd really recommend to keep your use in check, because the knowledge that I will never experience those first few rolls again hurts. Especially knowing I 'wasted' my first roll on a small dose to see what it was about feels incredibly stupid in hindsight. If anyone has stories about losing (and regaining) the magic, I'd love to hear them.
I've abused MDMA from october to NYE last year. This forum and others has been a great source of information for me, but I couldn't find too much on short term mdma abuse. So today im sharing my experience here to add my little bit of anecdotal wisdom.
To keep this post, i will not go into extreme detail of every roll, but if people want to hear more on how things developed i will comment with more details and link it here.
Obviously what i have done was gravely irresponsible, do not reenact at home etc.
the abuse
october 2024 i got my hands on 1 gram of mdma. I've some drugs experience, but all very incidental, only substance i've an abusive relation with is alcohol. I started out with a 50mg dose, just to get to know the drug, and I also had work the next day. I had a nice super pleasant mild roll. I knew about the 3 month rule, but the dosage was so low, i figured Id do a real dose a few days later. A few days later i had my best roll ever, if you have used mdma you know those first rolls are the best.
In the next few weeks i started taking small amounts twice or so per week. Everytime some lame excuse, one more wont hurt after that ill take a break! I was chasing that amazing second roll, but i never could get there. Id start with a normal dose of 100-150mg, get a nice roll, but not as mind blowing as that second one. Id up the dosage, which helped for a bit, but then quickly the euphoria started to fade and i was compulsively redosing. I'd have binge sessions lasting 12-24 hours, of which all the magic and euphoria was always gone in the last 5-12 hours.
I kept this up until december or so. I used 3.5 grams over the 3 months. At that point even the initial dose wouldnt really have the desired effects. Id get a buzz, a slight feeling of being content, but that was it. Besides that only side effects, sweating, blurry vision, eyes shaking. Nothing really unpleasant, but the rolls were more negative effects than positive at this point.
I took a 2 week break or so, had some nac and took care of my body. I was extremely tired for 3 or 4 days, but besides that, i had no negative after effects. I wasnt depressed or noticed any significant cognitive effects. Maybe a little less focused, but difficult to say objectively.
At NYE i used for the last time in a while. I was at a party and had ~0.4 gram or so with me. I started with a small dose, 75 mgs, and the euphoria was extremely minimal, but there were waves of it here and there. I liked how social it made me, so during the evening I kept redosing like 50mg every hour or two. I was drinking a few beers, but nothing crazy. This was actually quite enjoyable, the euphoria and magic were gone after the first 2 or 3 hours, but it made me very social and I had a great time.
aftermath
After that I didn't use for quite some time. I was extremely tired for half a week or so, but besides that, I didn't have any negative consequences. I feel fine, similar to how I was before ever taking MDMA I think. I took some nac every day, and yesterday I finished the mdma I had left, a single dose of 175 mgs. It was the best roll I've had in a while, but it still pales to the second roll I had a few months ago. Music sounded the same to me, I was more social, and had some mild euphoria, but that was rather short lived. Colors seemed slightly more vivid during the one hour peak, but so minimal that it might have been in my head. I did feel a tiny bit of the lovey feeling again, but again, like 10% of what the small early doses used to do.
future
I'm going to hold off on the mdma for at least a year, see if that changes things. I didn't expect that the 2+ month break would bring back all effects in full, but I had hoped on a little more. While it was one of the better recent rolls, it was so underwhelming that I don't think it will be difficult to stay off it for the near future.
I know saying I lost the magic might be a little too soon, I really do need to give it a lot more time, but the change in effects with that 2 month break were so incredibly minimal that I don't have high expectations.
If you like this drug, I'd really recommend to keep your use in check, because the knowledge that I will never experience those first few rolls again hurts. Especially knowing I 'wasted' my first roll on a small dose to see what it was about feels incredibly stupid in hindsight. If anyone has stories about losing (and regaining) the magic, I'd love to hear them.
