johnlocke86
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Hi guys, new to the forum. I'm going through my... fifth withdrawal in the past 4 or 5 years or so. This past habit has gone on for about two months straight. I'd just like to share my experiences with withdrawing.
The first time I withdrew from the big h (I only smoke it) I was doing probably about one gram of EXTREMELY potent stuff. I ended up going cold turkey in another state. My body shook, I couldn't keep food down, I couldn't sleep, all I could think of was more dope. About day 4 in, I was still feeling like absolute hell. Still couldn't eat, still couldn't focus, couldn't do anything. It was terrible. Around day 4, I managed to score some methadones and a few zannies. I had about 20 methadone pills. On the day I got the methadones, I snorted one or two, and felt completely great. I went through the methadones in about 2 weeks. So I would do anywhere from about half a pill to two pills depending on how I felt, and usually I would dose a little at night to help me sleep. After I finished the dones, I had a couple weeks of having a hard time not shitting myself and I would wake up in the middle of the night soaked. Though the methadones kept me pretty stable and not in too much pain, the mild withdrawal effects lasted quite a while.
The next big time I went through withdrawals I remember I was doing Roxies and that mexican black stuff. I remember going through a day in agony, not quite as bad as the stuff I had in the post up top, but it was still bad. Couldn't eat, sweats, shakes but not nearly as bad cuz I don't think any of the stuff I've found since that first hook has had any decent stuff. But this was probably my easiest time kicking the habit. On the advice of many that I've read, I went to the doctor and got a script for clonidine (.1mg), xanax (.5mg), and vicodins (5/500). I also picked up a 96 ct of generic immodium (loperamide) I was supposed to be on a plane to a foreign country to attend a big family event and I needed to be functioning. I managed to get my hands on two 10mg Methadones as well and a 30mg roxy. On the morning before I hopped on the plane, mildly sick but kind of functioning, I smoked the 30 mg roxy i had and at the airport (30 min away from my pad) i popped the methadones. While on the plane, I took 1 mg of Xanax and ended up knocked out for about 10 hours of my 11 hr flight. I woke up feeling pretty good. This made perfect sense as the methadones last for about 24 hrs. I had another small flight about 2 hours to reach my destination. At this point, I thought I would have completely freaked out but I hadn't yet. I managed to stay cool. And cool I would stay for the rest of my journey which lasted about 3 weeks. Since I had no more strong stuff left, I used everything else that I had to stay cool. The vicodins I were scripted for was only about 60 pills, the doc wrote me out for two a day. That felt like utter crap, like it was too little, but I managed to stay cool with it. So, what I would do for the next two weeks was to use ONLY when I needed anything. When I felt a little antsy or felt the chills come on, I would pop a clonidine (be careful, if you overdo these drugs, they all lower your BP and you could probably end up fainting). If I felt a little anxiety I would pop a xanax. If I felt my stomach rumble and was afraid I'd let everything loose in my pants, I would pop one or two loperamides. The vics I would pop only when I felt anxious or achey. This would go on for a week, at which point I attended the big event and drank. That night I drank, I couldn't sleep a wink. So I do not advise alcohol. Also, I did suffer mild insomnia. Anyways, two days after the big event I flew off to another country. At this point most of my vicodins were gone (it's easy to go through the vics, you don't get high off of them but combined with the immodium and the xanax and the clonidine (never all three taken together at once, just as needed), I felt pretty... NORMAL. It's important to say I was up and about in a new country having to go to different places and guiding my friends and family, but I felt normal. Once I ran out of the vics all I had left were a handful of xanax and clonidines. My doc scripted me a lot of clonidines, less xanax, and even less vics. So as the xanax slowly ran out, I was left with just the clonidine. The clonidines keep the cold sweats away when you sleep, but as you take yourself off the clonidines you'll find yourself with cold sweats again at night. At this point though, my endorphin system was pretty much restored to original form with absolutely minimal discomfort. About one night of completely insomnia (a 36 hour or so period where I didn't have a wink of sleep) was all the pain i really went through. I thank god he helped me through that trip. So, this was my best time "withdrawing". Some might frown and say using vics is cheating or whatever, but to be honest it helped a lot with the tapering and the craving. Being out of the country and having to actually do stuff also helped.
My next time TRYING to withdraw with the above method was not nearly as successful. I was on the same stuff as before, went to a doc, got a script for vics, xans, and clonidine. This time not so successful. From the get go it was all bad because the vics alone did not satiate my need for an opiate. Looking back, I believe that last hit of roxy along with those two measly pills of methadone were absolutely necessary for me to get through and I just didn't have it. My body CRAVED very badly for some opiates and no amount of vics, xans, and clonidines i took took away the craving. That and I wasn't out of the country. I do recommend having some methadones on hand to take away the cravings. I'd rather go one or two days dosed up on a decent amount of methadones and then tapering down with vics, xans, immodiums and clonidines. I also learned it helps a lot to be where you don't use a lot. Place conditioning is a bitch when it comes to triggering your cravings. This attempt proved unsuccessful and I ended up going cold turkey as I'd finished all my pills while still goin' back to the black. I cold turkeyed with only melatonin and valerian root and some immodiums. None of them really helped. The melatonins only served to give me the most fked up dreams when I would get some sleep, which would be about 30 min to an hour at best. From cold turkeying, I would go on to a habit again in only a few weeks.
From this habit, I ended up getting kicked over to a family members' house somewhat far away. My habit at this point wasn't nearly as big as the previous times as I had less money. I would feel uncomfortable and somewhat shaky. I couldn't sleep and i would get the hot flashes and cold sweats at night. About day two in, I scored ten dollars dope. This helped. I still ended up throwing up. I took a lot of immodiums at this point, popping like 30 or so. Did the immodiums help? It helped constipate me, that's about it. I can't say for sure it helped much else. I took melatonins and diph at this time too. Diph always makes me feel like crap. The first day I didn't have any dope I took diphenhydramine to try to sleep. It made me absolutely jittery. The restlesness was worse than ever. 90% of the time I take diphs when I'm kicking i feel like absolute crap. Even one is bad. Anyways, on day 3 or so I got some .2mg clonindines. I popped those once before bed time for about 5 days. I wouldn't get the best of sleep but I would get some sleep. I was somewhat active, too, all the while popping immodiums and occasionally having a drink or a smoke of bud. The cravings for the opiates never went away. they got weaker, but never went away. Needless to say, I got back on the dope about 2 weeks later.
The next time was complete cold turkey off a VERY VERY VERY weak habit. I couldn't sleep, felt restless, blah blah and I was kicked out to live in another country for a year. They sell codeine OTC there. If I had money, it would have been paradise cuz 200mg codeine on a body with no opiate tolerance is a huge body high. I did it once in a while, popping 200 mg codeine and it would floor me out worse than smoking 1g of blk. I don't know why, but smoking always left me feeling more euphoric and with less of a body load than eating. I came back to the states from being 1 year clean and I got back on the opiate bandwagon.
It started off with seeing some vicodins. I took two and felt a huge body load. It wasn't as bad as 200mg codeine, but it was still big. Anyways, from the vicodins I jumped back into the black scene doing about 1g of mediocre stuff a day for two months straight. I went through a lot of BIG family issues like hospitalizations and a death in the family. My parents found out again, and I was forced to cold turkey. Only, instead of cold turkey, I didn't cold turkey. I was very fortunate this time to have a neighborhood friend who would actually smoke me out. I expected the withdrawals to be absolute hell and for the first couple days they were. I couldn't sleep, felt nervous, and anything I put in my stomach I would instantly vomit. But my neighbor proved a big help. Each day if I managed to find him and if he had anything, he would smoke me out. He basically helped taper me down. The first day, I took a few small tokes, no where near the 1g I would do a day, and it helped straighten me out a little bit. THe next day I would wake up throwing up like crazy, and I would go find him. About 24 hours would pass and he would smoke me out just a TINY bit cuz he had like almost nothing left. This would keep me feeling decent. Not good, but not as bad. I still wouldn't eat as my body craved more opiates and my stomach wouldn't settle. On the third day, he smoked me out a little more than he did because he had a little bit more. I managed to finally eat this time and a good amount. I woke up the next day feeling a wonderful glow. I could eat and I wasn't throwing up. I went to him, probably about 18 hours had passed since I last did anything, and he smoked me out. it was just ONE hit. that's all he had left. One tiny 1 inch trail. This alone was enough to get me uplifted. I still craved, but I felt energized to go out and do things. The next day, I hit him up again. It wouldn't be for about 36 hours till I got another toke from him and this time I got maybe about 4 inches worth of a hit. I felt good, ate a lot, and then waited till 4 in the morning and slept. I woke up feeling pretty good. From this point on I could eat perfectly, I would feel no need to vomit, but I would still diarrhea (no immodiums). For the past two days though I would take some flexeril. That stuff is god awful crap. When you're high on smack it helps you sleep wonders but when you take it when you're not doped up, and you're in withdrawals, it makes you feel like hell. I don't recommend it. I forgot to mention i drank some cooking wines too on the first two days. it made it worse. or better. i don't know. i couldn't tell. i know the cooking wine probably helped me throw up more than usual. anyways, i conjured up the strength 36 hours after my last dose to hit him up again see if he'd be down to smoke me out. he did, and we walked to a far away bathroom to smoke out. i probably got a 5$ hit that day and I woke up at like 2 in the afternoon. I woke up feeling pretty good. No cravings for opiates or whatever. I also took two flexerils that night. So for a good 40 hour period, I didn't crave any opiates. After this point though, I think due to the flexeril, even though i'm about 24 hours clean from having done any h, i would get up from lying down and walking a few steps, i would just faint. it was all bad. so i went to look for the old man again to see if he would give me a toke, because for some reason this dope actually raises my bp and hr (maybe high thebaine content?) so today is that last day i've smoked. it's about day 8 or 9, and apart from the first two days, i'm actually handling the withdrawal well. my cravings are minimal and I can eat fine. I can take a tylenol here or there and actually FEEL the ache DISAPPEAR. Never in my life did I think tylenol actually worked but it did. So I'm on day 9 of "tapering" with the help of my neighbor. The length of time that passes in between each dose I get from him just increases and I think I'm now ready to say I don't need it anymore. Or maybe I'll crave a little bit in three days. Today I got about a 2 inch hit and that's it. I feel decent. I could eat in the morning before I got anything in me, but I was struggling from the need to faint. I'm currently slightly loaded (i can tell i'm not too loaded because my eyes aren't pinned) and my cravings aren't so huge anymore.
Anyways, my takeaway from all this withdrawing is FOR ME, I need a taper. I can't quit the big one cold turkey. I'm significantly more likely to relapse sooner if I quit cold turkey. Ideally, if I could quit however I could, I would start with a three day course of methadones with xanax, clonidine, and vicodins (preferrably percs). i would go low on the methadone dosage (i would also try to smoke some black as a good bye and more so just to get normal) and use the less potent opiates along with the benzo and clonidine to keep myself as a state of feeling normal. basically a good taper regimen. using your DOC alone to taper is amazingly tough, not to mention the fact that potency is always different and with your DOC in your hands, you're likely to just keep doing it all. For me, with my DOC, I would smoke about once every hour. When I had to get on the pills in another country, I wouldn't bring the whole bottle of all the pills with me. I would just pop a few of each in my pack of cigs and that's all I would have to deal with. I always managed to stay cool. My 60 supply of vicodins went out in about 10 days, I'm not surprised. The immodiums I went through about 2 a day. I did end up suffering mild diarrhea cold sweats when I would sleep, but otherwise I felt fine. This time around, tapering off the dope with dope because i would get some free hits from a friendly neighbor trying to help me taper off, all the physical symptoms except the cold sweats and mild diarrhea are gone. The anxiety isn't there, though there is an aspect of boredom, but I've been cooped up in the house unable to go anywhere for over a week. I believe that if I watched some TV if I wanted to, I'd be mildly entertained. I do crave a little bit for some pills like vicodins and not so much black even though black is my DOC. I think it's cuz I know I don't wanna ruin my quitting process. The other day I overdid it a tiny bit with the black and got to a point where my eyes were completely pinned. I was HIGH. held me down for about 40 hours even though the black is crap and has no legs. I felt chill for 40 hours. So yeah, the taper works.
Another thing I realize is this. Your eyes are a huge sign of how fked up you are on the gear. Since I smoke, I can gauge it better than perhaps if I'd shoot or snorted the stuff. I can take a little toke, wait a couple minutes, and see the changes in my pupils. I can get my pupils small, but they'll still respond to darkness, or i can smoke even more, and have my pupils stay small even in the darkness. If you're trying to taper down on the dope, take a dose that doesn't pin your eyes badly. Let the dosage shrink your pupils but don't let them shrink so small that they won't respond to the darkness. I've been keeping my eyes pinned in bright light but they'll still dilate a tad bit when it gets dark. That's the point where I think I feel i haven't overdone it.
Anyways, that's about it. It's a long rant about nothing. Hopefully it helps somebody. Maybe it won't. I did try suboxone once. I had a suboxone pill in my bag of 20 methadones. I didn't know how to take it, so I snorted the damn thing. I was in like day 5 of withdrawals, and i forgot to mention I'd been popping lots of tramadol, and snorting the suboxone did NOT do A single thing. I ended up snorting a methadone an hour later to feel any mild relief. I would advise against taking methadones for more than a week, preferably. Even though I only took it for about two weeks I ended up with about two weeks of feeling mildly cruddy. The cold sweats lasted a lot longer than it should have and it really disturbed my sleep. I would try to go for three days max with methadone followed by a moderate strength opioid like 5mg perc or 5mg vic. preferrably go perc to vic. anyways, thanks. let me know what you guys think.
The first time I withdrew from the big h (I only smoke it) I was doing probably about one gram of EXTREMELY potent stuff. I ended up going cold turkey in another state. My body shook, I couldn't keep food down, I couldn't sleep, all I could think of was more dope. About day 4 in, I was still feeling like absolute hell. Still couldn't eat, still couldn't focus, couldn't do anything. It was terrible. Around day 4, I managed to score some methadones and a few zannies. I had about 20 methadone pills. On the day I got the methadones, I snorted one or two, and felt completely great. I went through the methadones in about 2 weeks. So I would do anywhere from about half a pill to two pills depending on how I felt, and usually I would dose a little at night to help me sleep. After I finished the dones, I had a couple weeks of having a hard time not shitting myself and I would wake up in the middle of the night soaked. Though the methadones kept me pretty stable and not in too much pain, the mild withdrawal effects lasted quite a while.
The next big time I went through withdrawals I remember I was doing Roxies and that mexican black stuff. I remember going through a day in agony, not quite as bad as the stuff I had in the post up top, but it was still bad. Couldn't eat, sweats, shakes but not nearly as bad cuz I don't think any of the stuff I've found since that first hook has had any decent stuff. But this was probably my easiest time kicking the habit. On the advice of many that I've read, I went to the doctor and got a script for clonidine (.1mg), xanax (.5mg), and vicodins (5/500). I also picked up a 96 ct of generic immodium (loperamide) I was supposed to be on a plane to a foreign country to attend a big family event and I needed to be functioning. I managed to get my hands on two 10mg Methadones as well and a 30mg roxy. On the morning before I hopped on the plane, mildly sick but kind of functioning, I smoked the 30 mg roxy i had and at the airport (30 min away from my pad) i popped the methadones. While on the plane, I took 1 mg of Xanax and ended up knocked out for about 10 hours of my 11 hr flight. I woke up feeling pretty good. This made perfect sense as the methadones last for about 24 hrs. I had another small flight about 2 hours to reach my destination. At this point, I thought I would have completely freaked out but I hadn't yet. I managed to stay cool. And cool I would stay for the rest of my journey which lasted about 3 weeks. Since I had no more strong stuff left, I used everything else that I had to stay cool. The vicodins I were scripted for was only about 60 pills, the doc wrote me out for two a day. That felt like utter crap, like it was too little, but I managed to stay cool with it. So, what I would do for the next two weeks was to use ONLY when I needed anything. When I felt a little antsy or felt the chills come on, I would pop a clonidine (be careful, if you overdo these drugs, they all lower your BP and you could probably end up fainting). If I felt a little anxiety I would pop a xanax. If I felt my stomach rumble and was afraid I'd let everything loose in my pants, I would pop one or two loperamides. The vics I would pop only when I felt anxious or achey. This would go on for a week, at which point I attended the big event and drank. That night I drank, I couldn't sleep a wink. So I do not advise alcohol. Also, I did suffer mild insomnia. Anyways, two days after the big event I flew off to another country. At this point most of my vicodins were gone (it's easy to go through the vics, you don't get high off of them but combined with the immodium and the xanax and the clonidine (never all three taken together at once, just as needed), I felt pretty... NORMAL. It's important to say I was up and about in a new country having to go to different places and guiding my friends and family, but I felt normal. Once I ran out of the vics all I had left were a handful of xanax and clonidines. My doc scripted me a lot of clonidines, less xanax, and even less vics. So as the xanax slowly ran out, I was left with just the clonidine. The clonidines keep the cold sweats away when you sleep, but as you take yourself off the clonidines you'll find yourself with cold sweats again at night. At this point though, my endorphin system was pretty much restored to original form with absolutely minimal discomfort. About one night of completely insomnia (a 36 hour or so period where I didn't have a wink of sleep) was all the pain i really went through. I thank god he helped me through that trip. So, this was my best time "withdrawing". Some might frown and say using vics is cheating or whatever, but to be honest it helped a lot with the tapering and the craving. Being out of the country and having to actually do stuff also helped.
My next time TRYING to withdraw with the above method was not nearly as successful. I was on the same stuff as before, went to a doc, got a script for vics, xans, and clonidine. This time not so successful. From the get go it was all bad because the vics alone did not satiate my need for an opiate. Looking back, I believe that last hit of roxy along with those two measly pills of methadone were absolutely necessary for me to get through and I just didn't have it. My body CRAVED very badly for some opiates and no amount of vics, xans, and clonidines i took took away the craving. That and I wasn't out of the country. I do recommend having some methadones on hand to take away the cravings. I'd rather go one or two days dosed up on a decent amount of methadones and then tapering down with vics, xans, immodiums and clonidines. I also learned it helps a lot to be where you don't use a lot. Place conditioning is a bitch when it comes to triggering your cravings. This attempt proved unsuccessful and I ended up going cold turkey as I'd finished all my pills while still goin' back to the black. I cold turkeyed with only melatonin and valerian root and some immodiums. None of them really helped. The melatonins only served to give me the most fked up dreams when I would get some sleep, which would be about 30 min to an hour at best. From cold turkeying, I would go on to a habit again in only a few weeks.
From this habit, I ended up getting kicked over to a family members' house somewhat far away. My habit at this point wasn't nearly as big as the previous times as I had less money. I would feel uncomfortable and somewhat shaky. I couldn't sleep and i would get the hot flashes and cold sweats at night. About day two in, I scored ten dollars dope. This helped. I still ended up throwing up. I took a lot of immodiums at this point, popping like 30 or so. Did the immodiums help? It helped constipate me, that's about it. I can't say for sure it helped much else. I took melatonins and diph at this time too. Diph always makes me feel like crap. The first day I didn't have any dope I took diphenhydramine to try to sleep. It made me absolutely jittery. The restlesness was worse than ever. 90% of the time I take diphs when I'm kicking i feel like absolute crap. Even one is bad. Anyways, on day 3 or so I got some .2mg clonindines. I popped those once before bed time for about 5 days. I wouldn't get the best of sleep but I would get some sleep. I was somewhat active, too, all the while popping immodiums and occasionally having a drink or a smoke of bud. The cravings for the opiates never went away. they got weaker, but never went away. Needless to say, I got back on the dope about 2 weeks later.
The next time was complete cold turkey off a VERY VERY VERY weak habit. I couldn't sleep, felt restless, blah blah and I was kicked out to live in another country for a year. They sell codeine OTC there. If I had money, it would have been paradise cuz 200mg codeine on a body with no opiate tolerance is a huge body high. I did it once in a while, popping 200 mg codeine and it would floor me out worse than smoking 1g of blk. I don't know why, but smoking always left me feeling more euphoric and with less of a body load than eating. I came back to the states from being 1 year clean and I got back on the opiate bandwagon.
It started off with seeing some vicodins. I took two and felt a huge body load. It wasn't as bad as 200mg codeine, but it was still big. Anyways, from the vicodins I jumped back into the black scene doing about 1g of mediocre stuff a day for two months straight. I went through a lot of BIG family issues like hospitalizations and a death in the family. My parents found out again, and I was forced to cold turkey. Only, instead of cold turkey, I didn't cold turkey. I was very fortunate this time to have a neighborhood friend who would actually smoke me out. I expected the withdrawals to be absolute hell and for the first couple days they were. I couldn't sleep, felt nervous, and anything I put in my stomach I would instantly vomit. But my neighbor proved a big help. Each day if I managed to find him and if he had anything, he would smoke me out. He basically helped taper me down. The first day, I took a few small tokes, no where near the 1g I would do a day, and it helped straighten me out a little bit. THe next day I would wake up throwing up like crazy, and I would go find him. About 24 hours would pass and he would smoke me out just a TINY bit cuz he had like almost nothing left. This would keep me feeling decent. Not good, but not as bad. I still wouldn't eat as my body craved more opiates and my stomach wouldn't settle. On the third day, he smoked me out a little more than he did because he had a little bit more. I managed to finally eat this time and a good amount. I woke up the next day feeling a wonderful glow. I could eat and I wasn't throwing up. I went to him, probably about 18 hours had passed since I last did anything, and he smoked me out. it was just ONE hit. that's all he had left. One tiny 1 inch trail. This alone was enough to get me uplifted. I still craved, but I felt energized to go out and do things. The next day, I hit him up again. It wouldn't be for about 36 hours till I got another toke from him and this time I got maybe about 4 inches worth of a hit. I felt good, ate a lot, and then waited till 4 in the morning and slept. I woke up feeling pretty good. From this point on I could eat perfectly, I would feel no need to vomit, but I would still diarrhea (no immodiums). For the past two days though I would take some flexeril. That stuff is god awful crap. When you're high on smack it helps you sleep wonders but when you take it when you're not doped up, and you're in withdrawals, it makes you feel like hell. I don't recommend it. I forgot to mention i drank some cooking wines too on the first two days. it made it worse. or better. i don't know. i couldn't tell. i know the cooking wine probably helped me throw up more than usual. anyways, i conjured up the strength 36 hours after my last dose to hit him up again see if he'd be down to smoke me out. he did, and we walked to a far away bathroom to smoke out. i probably got a 5$ hit that day and I woke up at like 2 in the afternoon. I woke up feeling pretty good. No cravings for opiates or whatever. I also took two flexerils that night. So for a good 40 hour period, I didn't crave any opiates. After this point though, I think due to the flexeril, even though i'm about 24 hours clean from having done any h, i would get up from lying down and walking a few steps, i would just faint. it was all bad. so i went to look for the old man again to see if he would give me a toke, because for some reason this dope actually raises my bp and hr (maybe high thebaine content?) so today is that last day i've smoked. it's about day 8 or 9, and apart from the first two days, i'm actually handling the withdrawal well. my cravings are minimal and I can eat fine. I can take a tylenol here or there and actually FEEL the ache DISAPPEAR. Never in my life did I think tylenol actually worked but it did. So I'm on day 9 of "tapering" with the help of my neighbor. The length of time that passes in between each dose I get from him just increases and I think I'm now ready to say I don't need it anymore. Or maybe I'll crave a little bit in three days. Today I got about a 2 inch hit and that's it. I feel decent. I could eat in the morning before I got anything in me, but I was struggling from the need to faint. I'm currently slightly loaded (i can tell i'm not too loaded because my eyes aren't pinned) and my cravings aren't so huge anymore.
Anyways, my takeaway from all this withdrawing is FOR ME, I need a taper. I can't quit the big one cold turkey. I'm significantly more likely to relapse sooner if I quit cold turkey. Ideally, if I could quit however I could, I would start with a three day course of methadones with xanax, clonidine, and vicodins (preferrably percs). i would go low on the methadone dosage (i would also try to smoke some black as a good bye and more so just to get normal) and use the less potent opiates along with the benzo and clonidine to keep myself as a state of feeling normal. basically a good taper regimen. using your DOC alone to taper is amazingly tough, not to mention the fact that potency is always different and with your DOC in your hands, you're likely to just keep doing it all. For me, with my DOC, I would smoke about once every hour. When I had to get on the pills in another country, I wouldn't bring the whole bottle of all the pills with me. I would just pop a few of each in my pack of cigs and that's all I would have to deal with. I always managed to stay cool. My 60 supply of vicodins went out in about 10 days, I'm not surprised. The immodiums I went through about 2 a day. I did end up suffering mild diarrhea cold sweats when I would sleep, but otherwise I felt fine. This time around, tapering off the dope with dope because i would get some free hits from a friendly neighbor trying to help me taper off, all the physical symptoms except the cold sweats and mild diarrhea are gone. The anxiety isn't there, though there is an aspect of boredom, but I've been cooped up in the house unable to go anywhere for over a week. I believe that if I watched some TV if I wanted to, I'd be mildly entertained. I do crave a little bit for some pills like vicodins and not so much black even though black is my DOC. I think it's cuz I know I don't wanna ruin my quitting process. The other day I overdid it a tiny bit with the black and got to a point where my eyes were completely pinned. I was HIGH. held me down for about 40 hours even though the black is crap and has no legs. I felt chill for 40 hours. So yeah, the taper works.
Another thing I realize is this. Your eyes are a huge sign of how fked up you are on the gear. Since I smoke, I can gauge it better than perhaps if I'd shoot or snorted the stuff. I can take a little toke, wait a couple minutes, and see the changes in my pupils. I can get my pupils small, but they'll still respond to darkness, or i can smoke even more, and have my pupils stay small even in the darkness. If you're trying to taper down on the dope, take a dose that doesn't pin your eyes badly. Let the dosage shrink your pupils but don't let them shrink so small that they won't respond to the darkness. I've been keeping my eyes pinned in bright light but they'll still dilate a tad bit when it gets dark. That's the point where I think I feel i haven't overdone it.
Anyways, that's about it. It's a long rant about nothing. Hopefully it helps somebody. Maybe it won't. I did try suboxone once. I had a suboxone pill in my bag of 20 methadones. I didn't know how to take it, so I snorted the damn thing. I was in like day 5 of withdrawals, and i forgot to mention I'd been popping lots of tramadol, and snorting the suboxone did NOT do A single thing. I ended up snorting a methadone an hour later to feel any mild relief. I would advise against taking methadones for more than a week, preferably. Even though I only took it for about two weeks I ended up with about two weeks of feeling mildly cruddy. The cold sweats lasted a lot longer than it should have and it really disturbed my sleep. I would try to go for three days max with methadone followed by a moderate strength opioid like 5mg perc or 5mg vic. preferrably go perc to vic. anyways, thanks. let me know what you guys think.
