New
Bluelight Crew
Hello, Bluelight. This is the second in my rehab journal series. This dates from January 1, 2006. I heard some chitchat about writing a letter to your drug of choice, and I decided to do it. So, here it is.
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I must be truly insane. I'm in love with my first drug. A fucking cough suppresant. An accident, the bastard brother of codeine and the cousin of Ketamine and Phencyclidine. I love you, Dextromethorphan. You've made me experience sensations beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like I've truly become whole, thanks to you.
The honeymoon has just ended and we've gone our seperate ways for now, but it's all for the better. I'm learning new things here. I'm learning that I never should have taken advantage of you. I should have treated you with the respect that you deserve. I was ravaging you and you pushed me away.
Everyone's saying I should forget you, and treat each day apart from you as a miracle. But each day that I count, I live on thinking of you. You live on inside of me, with all the lessons I've learned from you. So that's why we should separate for a while, so that we can both learn to stand on our own two feet. My dependence to you was eating away at who I was emotionally. I need to feel emotions for other people. I need the balance back in my life.
My heart and soul belonged to you, they could not fathom the very thought of being without your warm caress and your pure dissociation from petty worldly matters as we became one for hours on end. But I need to find a higher power that gives and doesn't take, a power that has no selfish desire nor gives into selfish desires of my own.
We've cut down a path for others to follow in our otherworldy passion, if they choose to. Now I need to find my own guiding force, someone who is able to lead me on my own trail, so that I can blaze a trail through life. Don't worry, we'll see each other again, and we'll soar the heights of ecstasy like in times past. Maybe even higher. But I need to work on myself first. I hope that you understand.
Sincerely,
Your Shaman
---
I must be truly insane. I'm in love with my first drug. A fucking cough suppresant. An accident, the bastard brother of codeine and the cousin of Ketamine and Phencyclidine. I love you, Dextromethorphan. You've made me experience sensations beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like I've truly become whole, thanks to you.
The honeymoon has just ended and we've gone our seperate ways for now, but it's all for the better. I'm learning new things here. I'm learning that I never should have taken advantage of you. I should have treated you with the respect that you deserve. I was ravaging you and you pushed me away.
Everyone's saying I should forget you, and treat each day apart from you as a miracle. But each day that I count, I live on thinking of you. You live on inside of me, with all the lessons I've learned from you. So that's why we should separate for a while, so that we can both learn to stand on our own two feet. My dependence to you was eating away at who I was emotionally. I need to feel emotions for other people. I need the balance back in my life.
My heart and soul belonged to you, they could not fathom the very thought of being without your warm caress and your pure dissociation from petty worldly matters as we became one for hours on end. But I need to find a higher power that gives and doesn't take, a power that has no selfish desire nor gives into selfish desires of my own.
We've cut down a path for others to follow in our otherworldy passion, if they choose to. Now I need to find my own guiding force, someone who is able to lead me on my own trail, so that I can blaze a trail through life. Don't worry, we'll see each other again, and we'll soar the heights of ecstasy like in times past. Maybe even higher. But I need to work on myself first. I hope that you understand.
Sincerely,
Your Shaman
