tuksalp
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2010
- Messages
- 3
First off, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is of no real consequence, and my last Ketamine trip was about 9 hours ago. My last trip before that was 4 years ago. I don't think I'll be touching this substance again, because to sum it up, it's not worth it. I'm not an existing member of this forum, but I have frequented it over the years, and have found valuable information here. But after today's experience, I thought I needed to share my story, in case someone else finds it useful.
skip the following until the bold text if you want to tl;dr
Don't get me wrong. I'm not out right against drug/psychoactive use. But I think there needs to be more differentiation between what exactly counts as use vs. abuse. I am getting to a point, and will use my own experience with Ketamine to demonstrate it.
I was first introduced to Ketamine by a friend, who had laid out a line for me, about 50mg. I snorted it, got a nice buzz (possibly helped by the Vodka I already had in me), felt like i was melting, and that was it. I weighed 190 lbs. then, was a straight A student beginning high school, and was quite social.
I was also living in a country where Ketamine was available over the counter for about three dollars a gram. At hospitals. It didn't take me long to get into Ketamine properly. I first 'cooked' my own Ketamine in the summer of 2005. This was the second time in my life I would be doing it. I think I was chasing the buzz I had got the first time. I didn't make this a habit, but I was going on 100 grams a month for some time after.
At this same time, I was opening myself up to a whole new world. I was leaving religion behind, educating myself about world history, free spiritualism, metaphysics etc etc. I don't remember where exactly, but I read about the K hole. I thought I'd try it, so I used the internet to read up on it a bit. My main source of information was erowid (bless them). My first K Hole was a mind blowing experience. It is difficult to put into words, but I think I'd like to call it 'reaching into a mirror'.
From then on, I was averaging 1gram a month for nearly 3 years. I flunked my final year of high school twice, lost interest in life, got severely depressed and paranoid. My parents found out, and made me move back in with them. To a country where you just don't get any drugs at all. The withdrawal symptoms were severe. I was seeing a shrink, but not going into rehab. The paranoia was so bad that I couldn't walk out of my house without freaking out. I had memory lapses. The previous years were a haze to me. I was having difficulty socializing and communicating with people outside a very small circle. And then I got narcolepsy.
Special K fucked my life, but not completely. I am glad I got out in time. I have mostly repaired the damages I caused to my family, and a lot of the psychosis has healed. I can socialize again, I feel confident talking to people I don't know. There is still some paranoia, but the narcolepsy is gone. I do have memory difficulties and some loss of cognitive function, but I manage to get by, and am living a good life. I have now temporarily moved back to my earlier country of residence for a work assignment, and Ketamine is still OTC and #3/gram.
Earlier today, me and a friend decided to do some Ketamine. The original plan was LSD, and we had a reliable source, but were unable to work out the logistics of a 12 hour trip, our schedules would not allow us to be off the grid for that much time. So we settled for Ketamine instead. It was his first time, and I wasn't able to decide whether I wanted to have some myself, or just sit along for his trip. In the end I went with close to 300mg taken nasally (I weigh 285 lbs now). His dose was about 125mg, a strong dose for his body weight.
I hit the K hole hard. It was that same reaching into a mirror feeling again, but this time more intense than I had ever felt it before. It got off to a good start, then I was completely immobile and detached from my body, and don't really remember that bit except I saw the universe being made again and I was it's herald. While coming down, I got a bit paranoid, maybe because of the shift in music (from Dark Side of the Moon to some space/kraut rock). I just felt generally uncomfortable with my surroundings and myself, fearful of going through the ordeal again. I distinctly remember being morbidly terrified at one point, like I've never been before on any drug whatsoever. I then decided that it was my last time, and I even threw about 100mg of it into the sink.
tl;dr skip till here
Which brings me to the gist of this long (tl;dr?) story. Chronic Ketamine use is NOT good for you, and can have severe effects on your mental health and social well being. I don't know how much of the damage is reversible, but Ketamine isn't as safe and clean as it's touted to be. There is also the (disputed) paper on Olney's Lesions that I have come across. And people with bladder/urinary tract problems.
Which brings me to my second, and more important point. There is not enough research available on a lot of the substances we use and abuse, for whatever reason. Everybody knows that the current was on drugs is a farce, but who's doing anything about it? Sure, this forum, and some others like it are a useful place to share information, but how much of this information is actual and real verifiable data? Is any of the data being quantized? Is it being statistically analyzed and compiled?
What I am saying is, if you want to find out about the effects, side effects, chronic use effects, contraindications of something like ephedrine, you can find volumes of data. Because pharmaceutical giants have been pouring money into research in order to ward off or evaluate their public liability against a certain compound that they want to market. There is nothing of the sort for Ketamine or PCP or MDMA or DMT or any of the other substances in common use today.
I'm not suggesting a solution, because at the moment I don't have one. What I am saying is, that we need to be more organized, better informed and more aware than we are at the moment. Because reading a few articles from the erowid vault does not tell you how bad it is to regularly use Ketamine, or any other drug for that matter.
skip the following until the bold text if you want to tl;dr
Don't get me wrong. I'm not out right against drug/psychoactive use. But I think there needs to be more differentiation between what exactly counts as use vs. abuse. I am getting to a point, and will use my own experience with Ketamine to demonstrate it.
I was first introduced to Ketamine by a friend, who had laid out a line for me, about 50mg. I snorted it, got a nice buzz (possibly helped by the Vodka I already had in me), felt like i was melting, and that was it. I weighed 190 lbs. then, was a straight A student beginning high school, and was quite social.
I was also living in a country where Ketamine was available over the counter for about three dollars a gram. At hospitals. It didn't take me long to get into Ketamine properly. I first 'cooked' my own Ketamine in the summer of 2005. This was the second time in my life I would be doing it. I think I was chasing the buzz I had got the first time. I didn't make this a habit, but I was going on 100 grams a month for some time after.
At this same time, I was opening myself up to a whole new world. I was leaving religion behind, educating myself about world history, free spiritualism, metaphysics etc etc. I don't remember where exactly, but I read about the K hole. I thought I'd try it, so I used the internet to read up on it a bit. My main source of information was erowid (bless them). My first K Hole was a mind blowing experience. It is difficult to put into words, but I think I'd like to call it 'reaching into a mirror'.
From then on, I was averaging 1gram a month for nearly 3 years. I flunked my final year of high school twice, lost interest in life, got severely depressed and paranoid. My parents found out, and made me move back in with them. To a country where you just don't get any drugs at all. The withdrawal symptoms were severe. I was seeing a shrink, but not going into rehab. The paranoia was so bad that I couldn't walk out of my house without freaking out. I had memory lapses. The previous years were a haze to me. I was having difficulty socializing and communicating with people outside a very small circle. And then I got narcolepsy.
Special K fucked my life, but not completely. I am glad I got out in time. I have mostly repaired the damages I caused to my family, and a lot of the psychosis has healed. I can socialize again, I feel confident talking to people I don't know. There is still some paranoia, but the narcolepsy is gone. I do have memory difficulties and some loss of cognitive function, but I manage to get by, and am living a good life. I have now temporarily moved back to my earlier country of residence for a work assignment, and Ketamine is still OTC and #3/gram.
Earlier today, me and a friend decided to do some Ketamine. The original plan was LSD, and we had a reliable source, but were unable to work out the logistics of a 12 hour trip, our schedules would not allow us to be off the grid for that much time. So we settled for Ketamine instead. It was his first time, and I wasn't able to decide whether I wanted to have some myself, or just sit along for his trip. In the end I went with close to 300mg taken nasally (I weigh 285 lbs now). His dose was about 125mg, a strong dose for his body weight.
I hit the K hole hard. It was that same reaching into a mirror feeling again, but this time more intense than I had ever felt it before. It got off to a good start, then I was completely immobile and detached from my body, and don't really remember that bit except I saw the universe being made again and I was it's herald. While coming down, I got a bit paranoid, maybe because of the shift in music (from Dark Side of the Moon to some space/kraut rock). I just felt generally uncomfortable with my surroundings and myself, fearful of going through the ordeal again. I distinctly remember being morbidly terrified at one point, like I've never been before on any drug whatsoever. I then decided that it was my last time, and I even threw about 100mg of it into the sink.
tl;dr skip till here
Which brings me to the gist of this long (tl;dr?) story. Chronic Ketamine use is NOT good for you, and can have severe effects on your mental health and social well being. I don't know how much of the damage is reversible, but Ketamine isn't as safe and clean as it's touted to be. There is also the (disputed) paper on Olney's Lesions that I have come across. And people with bladder/urinary tract problems.
Which brings me to my second, and more important point. There is not enough research available on a lot of the substances we use and abuse, for whatever reason. Everybody knows that the current was on drugs is a farce, but who's doing anything about it? Sure, this forum, and some others like it are a useful place to share information, but how much of this information is actual and real verifiable data? Is any of the data being quantized? Is it being statistically analyzed and compiled?
What I am saying is, if you want to find out about the effects, side effects, chronic use effects, contraindications of something like ephedrine, you can find volumes of data. Because pharmaceutical giants have been pouring money into research in order to ward off or evaluate their public liability against a certain compound that they want to market. There is nothing of the sort for Ketamine or PCP or MDMA or DMT or any of the other substances in common use today.
I'm not suggesting a solution, because at the moment I don't have one. What I am saying is, that we need to be more organized, better informed and more aware than we are at the moment. Because reading a few articles from the erowid vault does not tell you how bad it is to regularly use Ketamine, or any other drug for that matter.
