• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

My long experience with drugs

R

Rahziel

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2014
Messages
5
I have read and used bluelight for many of the opiate issues I've had in the past, I just hope this helps someone, as I have gone through it all.


Let's begin with I'm 23, I have Crohn's Disease, I've had many operations in the past 5 years. I struggle with pain everyday. Now that's out I will begin, I really do hope this helps someone.

I started out with 8mg HydroMorphine (after the non opiate type), and got addicted to it. I had it go up to 16mg 5x a day.

Then came the surgery, I was put on fentanyl Patches 2x 100mcgrams (can't remember if micro or what) and the patches came off, I sweat a lot. So many times I'd be out of fentanyl days early. And had horrid withdrawals. At first it was just me, for days , sticking it out. It was brutal, Then I was put on Gabapentin to help with the pain.

I found it didn't really help with the pain, but I heard from here that it helps with the withdrawals, so I tested it out. It really helped out, BUT it wasn't perfect. I had high doses, and it really did help, but it's not a miracle drug.

Now as time progressed I realized I got used to the gabapentin for withdrawals. and Noticed it didn't work as well. Finally I got fed up with fentanyl, and me and my doctor changed me to morphine. At first it was really really hard, had to start small and work up till I was at 440mg morphine a day (mouth).

I am still on morphine, but I go thru withdrawals. but if you take your time, lay down, eat a little, and keep drinking water, it will make things easyier, seriously, it makes it a lot easyier!

keep up with the fight, I know you can win. it's never easy.

Also, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, this is a sickness. Even the best of people suffer from it. It's all about how you cope, this is a fight, some cases its for your life. it won't ever be easy, nothing ever is. But you can win!

Thanks
 
If you take the ER morphine as directed you wouldn't be experiencing withdrawals. I know it's really difficult but as a pain sufferer you should try to not abuse your scripts. I'm sorry to hear about your suffering. Hang in there :(
 
^ true. You may always be in a small amount of pain if the dose is too low but completely regular dosing will cause your body to acclimatize to the dosing pattern and eliminate any withdrawal. The advice on withdrawal the OP gives seems absurd given these facts.
 
I'm not abusing. New canada law is making everyone reduce. Most of my withdrawals were from fentanyl. They kept falling off, the patches, doctor said I can't put back on after they fall off. But it's the problem for government if I get it early. So I had no choice to suffer.

But with morphine I'm going down. Since it was high doses the doses by week were highly reduced. So no matter what I'm suffering. It's a long process
 
Last edited:
Tomorrow I'm going down by total 240mg a day. It's never easy. I know a lot of people are going thru what I am since the law passing. Apparently only up to 200mg a day for serious cases and 100mg for those that arnt serious. I'm in the 200mg category.due to my chrons moving to my stomach (and bowels)
 
Rahziel said:
I'm not abusing. New canada law is making everyone reduce. Most of my withdrawals were from fentanyl. They kept falling off, the patches, doctor said I can't put back on after they fall off. But it's the problem for government if I get it early. So I had no choice to suffer.

But with morphine I'm going down. Since it was high doses the doses by week were highly reduced. So no matter what I'm suffering. It's a long process
Click to expand...

Bullshit. You can stick them back on with a tegaderm. /facepalm
 
Do you literally toss out the patches that still have drugs in them after they fall off? You should harvest the remaining fentanyl.

What is the the new law exactly?
 
To the OP: there is hope!

I also call bullshit on not being able to stick them back on.

I've used the 100ucg/hr fentanyl patches for several years and I easily take them off and put them back on later, like days or weeks later.

You don't even need tegaderm. So long as you keep the partly-used patches stuck inside their individual packaging-wallet thing they'll stick right back on no problems.

Beware of taking everything a doctor says as gospel - they also say (and this is for the MATRIX non-gel type fentanyl patch) you should never ever cut the patch. Also bullshit.

And OP? You're 23. With all due respect to your advanced age I'd recommend not thinking (and writing posts) using such depressing and emotive language as "My long experience with drugs.
You're only in your early 20s my friend and I believe that despite its undoubted nastiness Chrohn's Disease should still allow you to live a normal livespan - meaning that if you look after yourself you should easily live another 60 years or so.

Please be aware of how important - and reinforcing - the words we choose to use to describe (for example, our drug use/experience using said drug/s) things can be. At 23 I would not recommend dwelling on your drug use (whether we're talking use of prescribed medication or use of unprescribed illegal drugs) because doing so is very likely to reinforce negative thought patterns and by so doing you're creating problems for yourself which'll only become apparent if you're unlucky and/or foolish enough to still be using drugs when you're 33 or, perishthe thought, when you're 43. What language will you use then? The English language has only a finite number of words so choose your words carefully!

To close: OP, you're 23 mate! Not to denigrate or belittle your suffering as a result of Chrohn's in any way, shape or form, but you're 23 and not dying of any fatal disease such as cancer. As we say in England, chin up mate!
 
Last edited:
I am back (was away) I was just doing what my doctor told me. He had a fear of some sort of discharge or something. I'm trying to remember what exactly he said, it was 3 years ago. And for the crohn's Im not dying. but I keep getting surgeries, both bowel reception and the multiple abscesses I keep getting. My recent colonoscopy says I have swelling in my colon (or whats left,) and 3 ulcers. In my stomach (endoscopy) they said stomach was swelling with 1 ulcer. so far nothing is taken for ulcers. for my stomach issues I used to take perit, but now on a new pill for stomach.

I know not everyone agrees that I am on this stuff. I currently am working on coming off. (its not easy). what I was writing about was the coming off part. the rest was a background. whatever reason you think its dumb im on morphine, the reality is that I am. And im taking the steps to come off as much as I can. it just takes time. currentlynow 200mg but was at 440 mg a day
 
Rahziel said:
I know not everyone agrees that I am on this stuff. I currently am working on coming off. (its not easy). what I was writing about was the coming off part. the rest was a background. whatever reason you think its dumb im on morphine, the reality is that I am. And im taking the steps to come off as much as I can. it just takes time. currentlynow 200mg but was at 440 mg a day
Click to expand...

HI Rahziel, welcome the Bluelight :)

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering with Crohn's Disease, I know a couple of people with this condition and they both a pretty bad time living with it.

I think you be misunderstanding the posts in your thread ( or maybe I am ) I don't think anyone is berating you for taking pain killers, morphine or otherwise. There are many people here who have or do use opiates both prescribed and illicit, you won't be judged here for such things.

I think some may have read too much into your thread title and missing the fact that you may have been made to feel like your use of pain killers is a bigger deal than it is elsewhere. It's important to understand that drug problems are very personal, we are different and take these substances for a host of reasons so experience withdrawal in different ways, there is no one size fits all approach.

You don't say what plans your doctor has for your ongoing pain relief ? it's one thing getting you off morphine but what the hell do they expect you to do about your pain?
 
Do they really just jack off to your suffering and constantly urge you to get off any opiates? It seems that the new laws revolve around switching people to more toxic and less taboo alternatives that do not work as well. Don't let pop culture painkiller shaming sponsored by the government get to you.

Why even drop your dose of morphine?
 
i too suffer from chronic pain complicated by a congenital tolerance for opioids made worse by a lot of years abusing opioids...

i had major issues with the adhesive annoyance of fentanyl patches before i discovered a product called "rock tape". it's available on amazon, it's cheap, it's waterproof, and it will stay on without irritating your skin and come off without removal-related agony when you're ready. it really works.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top