my life has fallen apart in the last week and I could give a shit.

Homeless and stripping and got arrested....

Can the universe give me any more signs that I should get off drugs?

Maybe but I doubt I would listen to them anymore than I am these.

My parents went through my things and told me its either rehab or the street and I am picking the street... because even if i do get clean honestly I want to do it myself and on my own terms, not for them and not by their rules.

I was driving back from the club last night and got stopped by a cop. He could tell I was high and searched for my car and found some coke. They charged with me with possesion and booked me and kept me for a few hours in a cell and let me go (I won't self incriminate but they were the most laid back/awesome-est/stupidest cops ever haha).

Under california law it looks like I'm not going to do any time for this but I'm still so fucked. I am never been arrested before and you would think this would be a wake up call but i dont even give a shit anymore, all i can i care about is this drug.

 

Im so sorry all that shit happened. I hope it all works out somehow.

Hugs.

 

 

I'm really sorry to hear all of this mrs mia, but I think that you're right in that this is a wake up call. You'll do what you need to in the meantime, but I really do hope that you'll do your best to get clean as soon as you can.

Until then, take care of yourself, and keep us all updated. I'll be sending what good vibes I can spare your way. Good luck.

 

What Dave said.......said perfectly.
I worry about you alot Mia........Please keep us updated.......
And maybe look into those links Mariposa gave you in the 'living situation' thread.........
Be Safe......
Good Luck........

 

I wish I could offer you my couch but Im in the wrong country. You need some TLC, try to find short term accomodation anywhere first to have a place to be safe, keep working, save up, get your own place. As for the drugs- Im not going to tell you its time to quit- you have to decide that, but don't let the expense of it stop you from finding money for rent. Rent comes first- then anything else. All problems being jumbled all together is too much. Write a list of things you need to do in order of priority- then check off those things.

Take care,

Liz

xx

 

Sounds like a seriously tough break sweetheart. Hang in there.

 

sucks. but hold your head high and stay steadfast girl. the world is a nasty place sometimes. but it can be beautiful too.

if you need some sort of assistance, im me, i'll see if i can help or not.(honest...if i can help a stranger, I will)

 

stay strong mia! sending your way...

 

Hey girl. I know cali law is different from jersey, but even when shit seems real grim, first offense,is never something to be worried about, (obviously unless it some kilo-distribution shit, or watever.) But I want to show some love and encouragement, that you dont got much to fear legally, ill keep u in my prayers tonite. Hey i been arrested 3 times all 3 of them felonies and I aint in jail. Thats another story tho.

I know the down n out desperate feeling.I lived in my car before. ran from people i owed money to. slept in unfinished abandoned houses with a guy i didnt barely know praying , sleeping with one eye open, hoping he dont try and take something from me becuz he let me stay there, stiff as a board not letting even my foot touch his. Sittin in the clinics, in the homeless outreach centers, at the needle exchange, just one more lost n broken soul in and out, lookin at the people with all their shit in a bag on the street and realize im one of them too. And always the chase n threats of these enemies comin back outta the woodwork, nightmares of them comin for me still.

Slept in the car after driving all night til morning, just tryin to find somewhere safe enough to park and sleep in for a hour or two. Stashed my shit in trees, bushes, garbage cans, all kind of stash spots outside the car just in case I got woke up by a cop knocking on my window. Ive felt the walls closin in, n feelin like im fallin out without a bottom girl, just gave the fuck up. trust me the thing is no matter how much u just wanna die, your stupid, stubborn heart just gonna keep right on beatin, and you hate it at the time but things a gonna change, and all u got to do is keep on breathin one breath at a time. breathe in that wind of change and itll come to you in time.