My life at the moment... back on meth

I haven't made many blog entries lately, as someone recently pointed out, so I thought I'd write a quick update. As I mentioned in the Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion thread in The Dark Side, I've relapsed heavily on meth. Mostly because the local drug & alcohol service is refusing to prescribe me pharmaceutical amphetamines (I heard they've prescribed it to other meth addicts before, so I don't understand why they aren't giving them to me), and their counselling isn't working, so I feel like I'm being forced back into using again. I just can't function or live a normal life without meth... I'm dependant on it.

I don't have enough money to fund a daily habit cos I'm no longer dealing/hustling like I used to, so I've hooked up with a dealer who gives me as much as I want in return for "company". Yeah, it's trashy and superficial, but at the moment it's the only way I can support my addiction. At least the guy is quite attractive (handsome, well toned body, same age as me, etc.) and he treats me well, so I can't complain. Trouble is, I can tell I'm returning to my old ways. Today I was starting to feel desperate cos I was on a comedown and hadn't had a call from him - even though I saw him yesterday and he said he'll be in touch soon. Eventually he sent me a text saying he won't have any more meth till Thursday which was disappointing to say the least. I'll be feeling like shit for the next 2 days.

 

This makes me really sad Sweet P
I hope one day to read that you have given up Meth once and for all.
Keep your head up and please remember you have people here who care for you.

 

I'm glad you are choosing to live on your own terms P! I am sorry to hear you feel you're starting to go back to your old ways, I know how the feeling of slipping away can feel, it's horrible.

You are still a great person nonetheless, and don't forget it!

Maybe one day you'll find a doctor or the drug rehab services will wisen up and hook you up. Hopefully. You deserve to be on medication.

Take care and be safe P!

 

I had a tiny meth relapse myself last week. It was the first time I had used any in over two years. Good luck to you, Sweet P. btw do they have any crystal meth anonymous meetings near u? i go sometimes here.

 

^ No, I don't think there are any CMA groups in my country. I'm feeling kinda disillusioned with the whole 12-step program anyway, so I doubt I'd be keen to attend a meeting.

 

looks like there are 487 CMA Meetings worldwide (http://www.crystalmeth.org/cma-meeting-directory.html)

I'd be interested in checking it out. Never had a meth issue personally due to availability but I think it would be cool to see what a meeting is like

 

^ The closest meetings to me are in Sydney, Australia, unfortunately.

 

Just heard from my dealer and he has a batch of meth all cooked and ready, so I don't have to wait until tomorrow. That has totally made my day. I've been drinking this morning to cope with the comedown from when I last used on Tuesday, so I'm gonna catch a bus over to his part of town. I don't need another DUI.