My Life and what to do about it - seek Help?

[moneyboy]

After taking the Ketamine some time, I got some really weird thoughts which I wanted to offer for discussion. I allready mentioned that I had some pleasent dreams at night after tripping on K, then I was very much moodlifted over the day. I really felt better, my depression seemed gone. But the effects dont last.

While I had this feeling of euphoria and this kind of apreciation for the beauty of life, I also noticed that I don't live the life I wanted to and I did not achieve the things I'd like to achieve. Okay, I have quitten the booze, but I still can't survive without some kind of drugs. Then the other problems, for example, since I can think I am not good when it comes to get laid, building a relationship, getting a girl to like me (and I am neither fat nor very small or huge, I even find myself more or less handsome, but I don't have the balls to even talk to chicks I would like to get to know). I am single for almost 5 years now and I am sick of it. I find it hard though to meet new people or even women, sympthoms of social phobia seem to stop me from taking action. sometimes I feel sooo lonely that I sit in my room, all alone, and simply I start crying, thinking about all the bad things I have done.

And same with my worklife. I had some jobs in the past but it never went very well, after 1 or 1 and a half years I mostly got fired or I quitted.
And if this pattern shell continue for the next 10 maybe 20 years of my life, I don't want to live it! that's the point! I find it dull, uninspiring, lonely, not worthy living. Then I believe I could even kill myself without fearing the consequences, but I won't do it, because I still have relatives, my parents and sister sometimes see me and they would be very sad. But I have the suicide-thoughts sometimes and I find this not normal/healthy at all.

I would like to make some changes, but how? I am afraid, I feel weak, I don't know how to start it. Got very few money, so I have to start in earning some more cash. I am taking antidepressants for almost 10 years, it does not help any longer, I need to take action and I need to do it NOW!

Ok I realize now that all this complaining does not help, I need to mobilize everything I got to achieve change in my life, I need to do this more than anything else!

 

[Brandon1991]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't know what to do with my life either. I'm 23 and i did meth for
5 years. I just got out of rehab but I still do drugs. I'm just not strung out on meth.. I have no job experience
and social anxiety as well. I just try not to over analayze things like I normally do. And I feel like I need
either Weed or opiuts or a benzo just to stay sane. But atleast it's not meth lol. And with girls, they're easy to
talk to, just let them talk. Ask questions and be or atleast seem interested. You just have to try. Even if you
fail, you learn from it.. You just have to get out of your comfort zone to grow.. IDK lol.

 

[Get2Think]

When it comes to women and I'm no Casanova by any means but I'm an above average looking guy who has bedded some real beauties. Bars, Bars, Bars. I've also been rejected 100 times
more then I've succeeded. Man you gotta fucking get in there and just try. If your 21 go to bars, and always be aware, look for girls giving you subtle cues or quick glances at you.

But you have to approach them and face rejection. Once you do that enough i guarentee you will eventually win. It's a numbers game, when I go to a bar, if i don't try to at least approach and bump and grind with 10-20 different girls then I'm disappointed in myself and probley in a bad mood about something and as a result will be taking a cab home alone. I cannot stress this enough, expect rejection, expect many unlucky nights walking home alone at 2-3am at the end of the night or taking a cab. If you can, have no expectations.And I go to bars clubs/bars alone too 85% of the time. Id say I have a success rate of getting a girl to a hotel room or somewhere to fuck for the night at about 15%. And shit man that's my life maybe in the future it will go up to 25%. Practice practice practice.

If your looking for a girlfriend then the best way to find those is through mutual friends, school, or work. I'm terrible at getting girlfriends tho so somebody whose good at that take over and teach me ask because I'm tired of one night stands.

 

[Auranova]

At some level I feel like I don't have the right to post here because I have not been where you are......well not to the same degree anyway. Get2Think offers some good advice but I think it is short term gain and not a long term fix. Plus I was personally always way too shy to approach girls that way. Honestly, the BEST way to make yourself attractive to girls and to get out of a rut is to focus on fixing the things in your life that you are unhappy about. It probably sounds trite and overly simple, but if you are happy with yourself and a good listener, love will come, you my even have to fend women off, lol. The key is focussing on your own happiness first and worrying about the rest after. I know it's not easy coming from a dark place (and I have been in a dark place before) but the trick is to start very small with one change (it's unrealistic to fix everything at once) and focus on just that one thing. Focus your energy on making yourself just a tiny bit better at it - it can be any accomplishment that makes you feel good about yourself. It's not about wildly succeeding but biting off small chunks. Maybe it's deciding to overcome an anxiety. Push your comfort zone by taking baby steps in a certain direction. This will start to make you feel better about yourself. It can be as simple as daring yourself to smile or compliment a stranger. Don't set lofty goals or unrealistic expectations. Maybe it's going one day without drugs and feeling like shit but knowing you rose above something that was controlling you. My point is that when you strengthen yourself this way, you are incrementally making yourself more attractive and eventually, if you can keep things going in that direction, your options will begin to open up. Never give in to self pity or feeling like a victim. The best way to find lasting and meaningful relationships is through doing something you love. It happens more naturally that way, and it is sparked by mutual interest. Hey man, I wish you all the best. The hardest part is making the first change.