I started out taking them recreationally in very lose doses. I thought to myself its not like I'm an addict or something " I'm only taking them in the weekends" or " I can stop whenever I want" the only problem was I didn't realize I was setting myself up for disaster.
Eventually it got harder and harder to stop. I would use for longer periods of time. Until I realized one day that I am always thinking about the damn pills. I put them in a pedastool. After a while I was not taking breaks anymore. I was taking them everyday. (even though I was taking every day I tol myself "I'm not a real addict because I take low doses and I'm not even building a tolerance")
Eventually I needed more because after four years(yup took my four years when I started) to build a tolorence. Then I told myself "at least it not heroin" and " at least it's just a pill" well since I was taking them more often it was harder to get from a doctor so I moved on to other sources. At first it was my mom and grandmas stash. Again I told myself "if I were a real addict I would be buying off te street"
Eventually my mom and grandma noticed that I was taking too much I their meds and that I should need that much a nd that's when my family fislrst noticed that I may have a potentially life threatening addiction on my hands. I told them no an gave them all my bullshit phrases for why I'm not an addict. (can you say denial) I was so stupid. Well after that I was like shit I need a new source ( I didn't realize that my problem was getting worse) I still thought its not that bad. After finding a dealer I was telling myself "at least I pay for my pills" and still saying "it's not like I am a real addict cause I'm not hooting up heroin"
I eventually got offered better pills along the road. First it was Vicodin next was Norco then precocet. After a while I needed more and more. I also was offered different pills. I eventually was taking a cocktail of pills. Soon after nothing was enough. I wanted more. (I still told used bullshit to keep my pride) I ended up moving on to snorting then shooting up.
I never saw it coming. It took years to become a full blown addict. I had people telling me I would end up dead or in jail or an institution. I did not believe my problem was that bad because then I had an excuse for all of it. I didn't realizes while high that I was ruining my life and family. I didn't think it was that bad but I was. I was fucking terrible. The friends I made were shit the places I stayed were shit. Eventually I was shit.
I wish I had never taken that first opiate in my life. I wish it was never prescribed. That shit ruined my life. I have been trying to stop and get it out of my life for years now, but once you take your first opiate binge you are pretty much buckled in on a roller coaster to hell.
I also took tramadol. It has SSRI properties. It has the ability to get you a little high and helps with depression. So because of that you will go through a mild physical withdrawal (I went through it) and you will go through a horrible mental withdrawal( I went through that to)
Tramadol you would think it by that bad right. Wrong. For te first weeks you will feel the physical withdrawal it is painful especially if this I your first withdrawal it is going to fucking suck. Opiates are very easy for your body to get used to. Myself after just four straight days of taking any opiate I will go into a bad physical withdrawal and it's painful.
But te worse part is the mental withdrawal from the antidepressant part of tramadol. You will feel depressed and tired and weak for up to six moths. This is why it is so hard to stay clean because opiates take for ever to reverse your body after using them. It can take years for a heroin addict to feel normal..... This is why relapse on opiates is high. It's because you will feel like shit. You will want a pick me up. And you will want to take the tramadol again to get energy and to feel happy. And that's when you are officially stuck in a vicious cycle of getting clean and relapsing..
If you can try to stop taking that shit for good. Especially since you aren't that bad on it yet.DO IT!!just STOP Before its to LATE. If you can't stop or if you stop and then relapse I suggest you start a rehad program before your problem get way to out of control and your life goes down the drain.
Hope this helps- my story and what I think
Please dot say "that would never happen to me because man you are on your way"
Eventually it got harder and harder to stop. I would use for longer periods of time. Until I realized one day that I am always thinking about the damn pills. I put them in a pedastool. After a while I was not taking breaks anymore. I was taking them everyday. (even though I was taking every day I tol myself "I'm not a real addict because I take low doses and I'm not even building a tolerance")
Eventually I needed more because after four years(yup took my four years when I started) to build a tolorence. Then I told myself "at least it not heroin" and " at least it's just a pill" well since I was taking them more often it was harder to get from a doctor so I moved on to other sources. At first it was my mom and grandmas stash. Again I told myself "if I were a real addict I would be buying off te street"
Eventually my mom and grandma noticed that I was taking too much I their meds and that I should need that much a nd that's when my family fislrst noticed that I may have a potentially life threatening addiction on my hands. I told them no an gave them all my bullshit phrases for why I'm not an addict. (can you say denial) I was so stupid. Well after that I was like shit I need a new source ( I didn't realize that my problem was getting worse) I still thought its not that bad. After finding a dealer I was telling myself "at least I pay for my pills" and still saying "it's not like I am a real addict cause I'm not hooting up heroin"
I eventually got offered better pills along the road. First it was Vicodin next was Norco then precocet. After a while I needed more and more. I also was offered different pills. I eventually was taking a cocktail of pills. Soon after nothing was enough. I wanted more. (I still told used bullshit to keep my pride) I ended up moving on to snorting then shooting up.
I never saw it coming. It took years to become a full blown addict. I had people telling me I would end up dead or in jail or an institution. I did not believe my problem was that bad because then I had an excuse for all of it. I didn't realizes while high that I was ruining my life and family. I didn't think it was that bad but I was. I was fucking terrible. The friends I made were shit the places I stayed were shit. Eventually I was shit.
I wish I had never taken that first opiate in my life. I wish it was never prescribed. That shit ruined my life. I have been trying to stop and get it out of my life for years now, but once you take your first opiate binge you are pretty much buckled in on a roller coaster to hell.
I also took tramadol. It has SSRI properties. It has the ability to get you a little high and helps with depression. So because of that you will go through a mild physical withdrawal (I went through it) and you will go through a horrible mental withdrawal( I went through that to)
Tramadol you would think it by that bad right. Wrong. For te first weeks you will feel the physical withdrawal it is painful especially if this I your first withdrawal it is going to fucking suck. Opiates are very easy for your body to get used to. Myself after just four straight days of taking any opiate I will go into a bad physical withdrawal and it's painful.
But te worse part is the mental withdrawal from the antidepressant part of tramadol. You will feel depressed and tired and weak for up to six moths. This is why it is so hard to stay clean because opiates take for ever to reverse your body after using them. It can take years for a heroin addict to feel normal..... This is why relapse on opiates is high. It's because you will feel like shit. You will want a pick me up. And you will want to take the tramadol again to get energy and to feel happy. And that's when you are officially stuck in a vicious cycle of getting clean and relapsing..
If you can try to stop taking that shit for good. Especially since you aren't that bad on it yet.DO IT!!just STOP Before its to LATE. If you can't stop or if you stop and then relapse I suggest you start a rehad program before your problem get way to out of control and your life goes down the drain.
Hope this helps- my story and what I think
Please dot say "that would never happen to me because man you are on your way"
