My introduction, written in a time of distress and a lot of pressure, and a heroin/drug addiction problem...
That is why I am now blogging, so that posts like the one below don't become static and end up being what defines me around here. Love to all!
That is why I am now blogging, so that posts like the one below don't become static and end up being what defines me around here. Love to all!
Hello fellow dopeys!
I am new here, but I have been reading many threads for quite some time, and figured it was time to register - the few times I tried in the past, the forum was closed for registration, so I guess today was my lucky day.
I sort of live a life of split personality, I suppose I am not the only one here with that 'problem.' I have a good job and I study at university, both at which no one really knows the side of me that uses illicit substances. Well, not entirely true, many people do know that I enjoy cannabis on a regular basis. However, they do not know about the psychedelics, stimulants and opiates etc. This side of me I only share with the closest of friends, which seem to be very limited in numbers these days.
I know I am being vague about my job and education, but I don't want to give up too much info here, just enough for you to get the general idea of who I am...
I am a great ganja grower, having grown organic soil grows, and numerous hydroponic grows using some clever homemade setups. I love music, and I also play guitar, which I have been doing for the past 10 years, and I think that I am quite good. I mostly play metal, but I listen to anything that sounds good, but good in my world is damn fucking unbelievably good, as I am pretty critical when it comes to music, considering how easy it has become to produce music, and how much shit ends up out there in the real world(I guess the main problem is not crappy musicians, but the generally dispicable taste that a large number of Earth's population seems to have).
Other than that, I love traveling and seeing the world, meeting new people and seeing new places. I have lived abroad most of my life, mainly in Africa. I also love journeying inwards, especially with the aid of psychedelics and ganja, but also in general, on an everyday basis. I might overanalyse myself and my surroundings often, but I love solving the great mysteries of life. I am also awed by the unsolvable mysteries of life, and I am quite keen on letting myself go with the flow while the universe unfolds itself in all its spleandor.
Currently I am a daily user of heroin, and occasionally smoke a spliff. I have been in and out of heroin use for the past 2 years, and prior to that I drank a lot of opium tea for a number of years. I have been through really bad withdrawals a number of times, and have a plan to stop using heroin sometime soon - right now I am slowly cutting down, to make the landing as pleasant as possible, although it is always hell no matter what. The reason why I am not just stopping now is that I am at the brink of getting a university degree, and I dont want to compromise it by spending a few weeks in a horrible condition. I have stopped numerous times before, and I really do think the grass is greener on the other side, but heroin is really a devil to master. Not that I don't enjoy using heroin, but everything becomes so neutral after prolonged use and my emotions and sex drive are close to zero. So I sort of swing between being a sex driven crazy monkey, to being a self-indulged junkie. But I do manage to keep up appearances, and eat and live healthy, so no one can tell that I snort up to a gram of brown Afghan a day in periods of heavy use. However, I do know that it takes it's toll in the long run, and I definately do not plan on using smack for many years to come. Better get out before it's too late. So you are all thinking, I've heard that before, but if you knew me, you would also know that I have a love for life, that nothing can get in the way of, and I posess a will power that most junkies don't come close to having, so it is possible for me to stop when I feel the time is right. And you might have heard that before... but please have faith.
Anyways, that was a little about me, and it feels good to be open about my drug use to strangers. That is why I joined this forum, to be able to tell like minded people things that I cannot tell my family and the majority of my 'friends' and collegues for the time being.
Here's a list of the drugs that I have tried(some many times, others once) with a dosage scale(1=mild doses, 2=medium dose, 3=high dose):
MDMA - 3
MDA - 1
Cocaine - 2
2C-B - 2
Shrooms(numerous species) - 3
Methamphetamine - 2
Amphetamine - 2
Khat(Miraa) - 3
Salvia divinorum - 3
Heroin - 3
Opium(raw and tea) - 3
Morphine - 3
Codeine - 3
Methadone - 2
Cannabis - 3
LSA - 3
LSD - 3
Kratom - 3
GHB - 3
Alcohol - 3
Nicotine - 3
Methylone - 2
Nitrous - 1
Alkyl nitrites - 1(or 3, if you count the time where I filled a bong with the stuff, and took a deep fucking hit of skunk through it)
DXM - 2
Ketamine - 1
+ some random barbituates which I don't remember the name of...
I think that about does it, will post again if I think of more...
All the best to all of you, and take care, be responsible and love yourself for who you are and all the crazy decisions you make in life!
me for me. And I 