My insides hurt, any ideas?

[Bluuberry]

So I keep having this internal pain. It changes locations, but it's always somewhere in my abdomen. Often it feels like my lower back/kidney area, a sharp stabbing pain. I also feel it sometimes under my ribs, on either the left or right side. It's pretty damn painful and can feel painful enough to really stop me from enjoying life.

I've been using MXE every day for ~8 months, with occasional week or so breaks, and I drink beer nightly, usually like 4 or so these days but it used to be more like 9 IPAs every night, basically somewhere in that range every night for the past couple years. I have been using kratom most days at moderate doses but take occasional breaks from that.

As far as diet, I am incredibly skinny and underweight, but I do usually eat 3 meals a day (unless I'm depressed, then it's breakfast and nothing else for the rest of the day, happens kinda often), all of which are pretty healthy and cooked by myself out of all organic ingredients.. My constitution is sadly kinda shitty, I tend to fuck my body up easily.

It's been going on for at least a month. After the first week or two of pain I became concerned and went to the doctor. They said they thought it might be serious so they told me to go to the ER. I went to the ER, got urine and blood work done, x rays taken, and they said everything was fine with my internals. No issues. They said it looked like I'm pretty constipated on the xray. I realized this was true, I had my wisdom teeth taken out a couple weeks before this and I'd been eating vicodin like candy for those 2 weeks plus living off milkshakes. I thought about it and realized it had probably been like 5 days since I took a shit.

So I stopped taking vicodin and took a ton of laxatives and ate real food again until my body started to work. Unfortunately, the pain hasn't gone away. It hurts even right now. It's an every day thing and I can feel it for most of the day. I'm scared but I don't know what to do about it or what the fuck is going on. They said the urine test showed that I don't have any infection. They also said nothing looked particularly inflamed on the xray. If it's not an infection or inflammation then what the fuck else could be going on?

One weird note is that I seem to not experience the pain when I'm on etizolam. I have no idea if that's relevant. But every time I take it I notice this.

Any advice would be fucking awesome. I don't know what to do about this but I'm pretty damn scared. Oh, I've been laying off the MXE a lot too. I've only used it on a couple of days over the past 2-3 weeks, and when I did it was <100mg.

 

[laugh]

no idea, but i hope its nothing too serious. personally, id lay right off the chems. and go see another dr. asap.

 

[Erikmen]

I had once a doctor who told us that pains that often move to other places are normally due to emotional issues.
In therapy this is frequently viewed as a serious problem, although more psychologically than physical.

 

[Bluuberry]

Been having serious emotional issues. Going through a breakup and intense changes to my psyche. So that's a possibility.

But it's really fucking persistent in the left back kidney area. Just a stabbing sensation over and over, or a persistent dull ache sometimes. It does also move to other areas though, and sometimes it disappears entirely.

As far as going to another doctor, I'm in a very isolated town and there are absurdly few doctors. No docs besides the people at the clinic I went to are even accepting new patients. There was one but their appointment was like 6 months from now.

I'm also not sure what else to get tested. I don't want to just throw my money away. I got a print out of all the tests they performed on me and, looking online, it seems like they covered most of the bases. I just don't know what else to do. Shit hurts man.

I'm definitely going to just entirely stop doing MXE. Even the chance that it has something to do with it, it's not worth the occasional high. I crave it so badly but I care more about my health. I say that now but god damn when I'm in so much emotional distress sometimes it gets the best of me, sad to say.

 

[dimensiontripping]

I have had chronic pain for years in my pelvic area following drug use. I am not surprised you experience relief from etizolam. This definitely suggests it is probably muscular tension that has arisen from either internal organ stress causing the fascia surrounding your organs to tighten or vice versa. Etizolam and Valium have provided me relief over the years but its always temporary.

You sound fairly unhealthy - your diet, emotional stress, drug use. I think its is fairly obvious that if you want the pain to go away you need to consider taking a moderate break, 1-2 weeks, from all substances including alcohol and focus on eating a diet based on whole foods. Get your bowels to clear regularly, get on a consistent sleep cycle. If there is nothing showing up at the hospital I advise you to take this into your own hands and use this problem of physical pain as an opportunity to improve the quality of your life.

Return to moderate drug use in a month or so and see how you feel but not until you notice improvements. don't be foolish. I stopped all psychoactive substances, did yoga, had sex regularly, ate well and my condition improved and the improvements are sustained unless I slip up.

 

[Bluuberry]

I do eat a whole food diet, nothing processed, I just skip meals way too often and I actually think I need more like 4-5 meals per day rather than 3, because I am really active and have a high metabolism. I just often have no interest in food, I suppose it's depression and anxiety gnawing away at me.

Thanks so much for the help dimensiontripping. I haven't been constipated since about a week after the hospital visit (that was maybe a month ago) and I'm on a good sleep cycle now, but I can't seem to stay sober. It was hard enough before, but now that me and my girlfriend of 5 years are breaking up (and still live together), I can't fucking relax or sleep without alcohol and benzos. I crave MXE so badly but that I can atleast manage to stay away from. Even if I wake up at 7 am and exercise really hard all day, I usually end up just waking up over and over and over again all night long if I don't sedate myself somehow. Eating cannabis works to keep me asleep but it gives me such insanely bad dry mouth and I wake up pretty groggy. When I used to have sex every night I could sleep great without any drugs or alcohol, but that was with my ex. My current (now ex, or something) girlfriend has basically zero sex drive.

It feels like muscular tension actually, that's what I have been thinking. It feels super tight and sometimes it almost feels like the fascia are trembling. This fucking sucks. I'll definitely be following your advice to get back on a more healthy path. Hopefully that will clear it up. I've been trying to quit drinking for like a year now and I just can't seem to make it happen.

 

[Erikmen]

Indeed, an entire diet observing details like which carbohydrate to choose from. Avoid meet and saturated oil. Lots of fruits, vegetables etc. Combine this with a doctor follow up and maintain your focus a bit far from drugs can make a difference in 10 days. Improving quality life.
As most of us went through withdraws, pains etc, that could help too.

But, managing to stay off alcohol can really help. That alone solves half of our problems IMO/E.

 

[dimensiontripping]

depending on where you live you might want to consult a myofascial physical therapist or a visceral manipulation therapist. This is a type of physical therapy directed at the extensive whole body fascia network and the organ system and its supporting fascia networks. good schools of yoga, such as dharma or iyengar will naturally focus on this through their routines and practices. 1-1 therapy costs between 100-200 depending on your location and you can get into iyengar classes at $15-25. Depending on your state of mind and ability to focus, a yoga class can sometimes show more improvement than 1-1 physical therapy.

This type of work will ONLY be effective if your diet, state of mind and drug use have also shifted. I can vape, not smoke, but vape cannabis 2-4 nights a week and drink 1 night a week (1-3 drinks) and maintain the benefits from physical therapy or iyengar yoga. GHB, Valium and other GABAergic drugs are also okay but such a slippery slope - I highly advise against using them because they will be a crutch. The second you start doing MXE, stimulants, excessive psychedelics, nicotine or heavy drinking your hard work is lost.

Be kind to your body. This too shall pass. Your life seems to be in deep, and somewhat dark, transition. Don't worry too much. Remember that happiness and laughing are the greatest medicines in life. Take care

 

[Bluuberry]

Thanks a lot guys (especially dimensiontripping). Things seem to be improving slowly. I'm still dependent on benzos and alcohol at the moment but I only had 2 beers last night and I haven't touched MXE in a few days now. I'm starting to finally think about things other than MXE. New romantic interest is improving my mood so much I've had basically no desire to be wasted, at this point I'm only using those drugs for anxiety relief and sleep. Here's to hoping I can taper off easily.

It's crazy how much pain our bodies can produce when we are in a bad state mentally. I noticed my tendonitis almost nonexistent all of a sudden now that I'm happier.

I'll definitely be looking into myofascial therapy, there's actually one down the street from me.

Just in case anyone was wondering (for some odd reason), my organs don't seem to hurt anymore, it's pretty much centered in my gut. Now when it hurts it just feels like someone punched me in the stomach, tense and crampy pain but doesn't feel like cramps. It's a little less scary than thinking my kidney/gallbladder/liver is going to pop or something, but shit still hurts so bad.

 

[Christina A]

It is better to consult a doctor as there can be physical or psychological reasons behind it. My friend suffered from similar moving pains in the abdomen and back area and the reasons of these pains were emotional and psychological problems.

 

[Bluuberry]

Yeah I'm starting to believe that it is emotional and psychological, I'm just not sure what kind of doctor I need to see for such an esoteric kind of pain. What sort of doctor did your friend go to?

I mean obviously my drug and alcohol use is a factor in the pain, but it's also part of the emotional and psychological baggage I'm trying to get out from under.

 

[Bluuberry]

Soo I'm still in a lot of pain and it's been a while.. I think like 6 weeks now that I've been in pain. It's not as bad anymore as it was at first but it's still really bad.

I've been wondering, does anyone know what kind of condition it could be if it's something that wasn't detecting via blood and urine tests checking kidney and liver function, and the x rays didnt show anything? I mean, that rules out most things, so what possible problems could be left? It's really starting to ruin my life.

 

[Mycophile]

It's not going to make you feel any better but I heard that the Chinese consider the stomach to be a "2nd brain" and say that emotional issues can cause stomach problems all by themselves without there being anything physically wrong with a person.

I don't know if it's true but I don't see why it couldn't be.

Maybe pain that is entirely emotional in nature could manifest itself in the stomach even if someone is perfectly physically healthy.

I remember knowing a guy who kept complaining for months about stomach pain but no doctor ever found anything wrong with him and he was also having emotional issues of various kinds but I don't know if he ever solved the issue.

Maybe some of those Chinese doctors might suggest dealing with the emotional issue and seeing if that solves the problem.

Seems kind of hoakey but maybe if you solve your emotional issues the stomach pains will go away?

It's worth a shot at least...

These same Chinese doctors are also really big on acupuncture and acupressure to solve problems so maybe try going to a Chinese/Eastern doctor and try out acupuncture?

I've always wanted to try acupuncture myself.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Bluuberry]

I am actually a firm believer in Traditional Chinese Medicine and I've been considering this option. Acupuncture can help with a lot of things that are untreatable otherwise so I'm hoping I can find some relief.

My biggest worry is that there's something still actually wrong with me that may be going unnoticed. I'm hoping someone can chime in and let me know if there's anything serious that wouldn't be detected by blood or urine work and an xray..