methoxetaman
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2011
- Messages
- 310
Now, before I even begin writing this out, know that I no longer use MXE and I currently have no desire to use DMT. So please don't waste your time telling me I need to stop or that I have a problem. I'm fully aware and have since received rehab 
Anyway, I started using mxe back at the end of '10 early '11. It quickly became my favorite substance of all time and by the summer I was using it basically every day, more for an anti depressant than a "fix," well at least for a while.
My first mind-blowing and life-altering experience with the mxe + dmt combo was early summer 2010. I was visiting a friend's apartment, and he was trying to convince me to extract dmt with him. To persuade me (and my girlfriend at the time) he packed about 3 tenths of his yellow dmt crystals into a pipe, and first let me girlfriend hit it.
She took a small puff and said she was good. So then it was my turn. I hadn't told anybody that I'd consumed around 80mg of mxe an hour or two earlier, in the form of my "Silly Patch Kids" aka sour patch split open, filled with mxe, and then squished shut (I invented them hehe).
Anyway, I proceeded to take a large rip from the bowl. I immediately was out of my head but somehow the shaman friend of mine got me to consume 2 more giant rips of the dmt. I just about finished off what was left of the 3 tenths.
The next thing that happened was, as "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" played on the speakers, I began to seize. Very hard.
My girlfriend and friend had to hold me down on the couch for fear of me flailing offf and hurting myself.
To the outsiders looking at me, this seizing lasted about 15-20 minutes.
But to me, it lasted a billion years, and the best way I can describe what I felt is that every soul/being that I've ever known in my entire life, people, family, animals, plants, imaginary friends etc were all around me, flooding me with ALL their love. It was pulsing through me, like my head had exploded and I was ejaculating out of my soul.
When I finally came back (sort of) I just bawled, out of pure joy, and all I could say was "I'm so happy!" I told the people there, "I don't need money anymore! You can have all of it I don't need anything I'm so happy! I want to give this feeling to my mom!"
My gf at the time: "Honey I don't think your mom would like it"
Anyway, I couldn't stop crying. We eventually left to go watch my gf's sister play harp at the ice cream shop, but I was still tripping REALLY hard, as if I'd taken a medium sized rip of dmt but it would not fade away. I must have sounded nuts because my girlfriend got kind of worried, didn't understand why the trip wasn't going away.
I was able to contain myself at the ice cream shop. But that night I went home still very very psychadelically intoxicated.
The next morning (a good 18 hours later) my parents awoke to me knocking on their door. I immediately broke down crying to them, telling them how happy I was and how thankful I was for everything they've done for me and how much they love me. Told them I was sorry for everythign I put them through as a son. Told them I wanted to do better with my life. All of this until they too were in tears.
That was an incredibly powerful experience, but I didn't do dmt for a long time after.
It's definitely a glowing experience, with a very positive outcome (except the seizure probably wasn't good for me).
This next story is very powerful as well, but shows how negative this outcome can be.
-----------------
About 18 months after the previous experience I found myself living with my Aunt, after becoming very, very emotionally dependent on mxe over that time period. At that time I was going through the ten gram bags of mine in 5 days or less.
Yes, that's 2 grams a day. And guess what, I would plug my doses.
So one day, after I had been strung out without sleep for about 3 days, my (current) gf came to take my stash out of my shaking hands until I could get some sleep and stuff.
I told her "yeah, that's all of it." When really I had taken out something like .8 to do that day and night. She took everything she could find but she had no idea how much mxe I was supposed to have.
That night came, and it was just another night of k/m-holing to me, so I loaded my oral syringe up with my normal starting dose of about 120mg and up my bum it went.
Tolerance is a bitch, and I had little patience, so before I even allowed proper time for the dose to hit I loaded it back up with what I remember to be about 3 tenths. I wanted to trip balls.
And trip balls I did.
At this point I had the greatest idea ever: I was going to smoke a bowl of weed on the comeup (BAD idea for me, mxe + weed = I think I'm dying). A bowl of weed with DMT on top. Just a little dmt, it can't do that much!
So anyway, I smoked the bowl, and here's what happened.
It was about 2 or so in the morning, thunderstorming outside. The thunderstorm was for me. My mind filled with a very euphoric realization? delusion? that we are all just balls of energy, colliding in to other balls of energy, that if one ball of energy falls off the path of life there's an energy net of love to catch it, a feeling of connection and oneness with the universe and all other souls. (It was deeper than this but that's all I can put in words.) I had finally found the meaning to the universe and I was ready to die, it was my time; once you figure out what I did you have no reason to live anymore (that's what I thought.)
So I ran outside into the thunderstorm, expecting God to send a lightning bolt down to zap me to heaven.
Why wasn't I rising up? Ohhhhhh it was because I was clothed. So, I took my clothes off, and proceeded to walk down the street repeating "AWESOME OPOSSUM! FUCK YEAH" ( I was goign to heaven, fuck yeah.)
I ran around in the thunderstorm naked expecgting to go to heaven for some time, during which the neighbors reported a naked boy making monkey sounds walking around the neighborhood.
Once I realized what i was doing and that I was tripping, I ran home, somehow i was three streets away lol.
I ran into the house, put my clothes back on, and went to bed.
Next thing I knew I was handcuffed on my Aunts couch, her and my cousin looking terrified that cops were going through all my shit. They had knocked on the door and my Aunt let them in, and allowed them to search my things.
I was tripping balls and couldn't talk. All I could do was watch them break open my safe, field test the dmt, field test the mxe, and the 25i blotters I had. Apparently they thought the mxe/dmt were heroin. They threw me in an ambulance and took me to the University hospital downtown.
At the hospital, I was STILL tripping balls, this was something like 7am, and the doctors would ask me "How are you doing?" and I would say "I'm doing awesome. I'm tripping balls!"
"How are you feeling?"
"I feel fucking fantastic."
I finally came down around noon and realized the gravity of what happened, that I was on police hold at the hospital, that I was goign to jail, that I was fucked. My mom was in the room with me watching me bawl my eyes out, say8ing "please don't let them put me in jail I need help I just want to be happy"
They didn't take me to jail. They took me to the psych ward. Where I sat in a chair until 3am that next night. The lady told me "your aunt called and said to tell you not to come back." They released me onto the street downtown at 3am, with no home to go to, no phone or wallet, no jacket. What the FUCK?
I was able to ask to borrow a phone on the street and get a hold of my friend to pick me up. He picked me up, and took me back to his parent's to crash for the night. We did a bunch of mxe. I'm still pretty unhappy with him for giving it to me after what happened. But I wasn't gonna say no.
For the longest time I didn't hear anything, I thought that the police genuinely were just worried for my sefety and took me to the hosp, confiscted my shit, and were going to leave me alone.
But 2 months after the incident I was driving my car, just gotten my license back, on the way to my po box to pick up more mxe. Got stuck in slow traffic, with a cop behind me. They auto-ran my plates and pulled me over. Pulled a gun on me and caled for backup. Made me get out of the car and walk backwards etc. Wouldn't tell me what happened for like an Hour of sitting in his car. Finally he told me I was being arrested for warrants of poss./trafficking of dmt.
Didn't go to court for 4 months. They dropped the trafficking, and 9 MONTHs later I finally started court-ordered rehab. They just "didn't have room." Guess how much mxe I did in those nine months? A lot.
Like I said, I no longer use it, and I'm getting better. I don't know if this story is meant to help others or just be interesting. It is what it is.
Oh and here's one more story. I received a very odd/bad batch of the "crystal ball" mxe, kind of styrafoamy feeling crystals, clear-to-white, dessicant sized to powder. I don't think it's mxe. I would eat, snort, plug doses up to 150mg without ANY effects.
This is why one day I decided to plug like 300mg or so and see if I got ANY thing. I didn't feel anyhthing so I went over to my gf's to help her dig a hole.
I don't remember anything from arriving at her house, getting out of my car and saying "Are you a Buddhist? TAKE ME WITH YOU!" to waking up in the hospital to the doctors telling me I almost died, my bp has high as soemone running a marathon, heart rate way too high.
This is what my gf says happened: her and her mom walked me inside, as I had absolutely no balance. I said weird things like " I sucked *a male friend's* dick." which didn't happen. Then I went unconcoius, and when I awoke I flailed my arms and legs, threw the couch pillows, and fought those who tried to hold me down or calm me down. I ended up convulsing with my tongue out and when my gf's stepdad held me down or whatever I ripped his shirt and bit him. He socked me across the face.
They proceeded to call an ambulance, which took me to the hospital, and I was there for hours before my memory kicked back in. Like if you ask ME I would tell you this NEVER happened, I have absolutely NO memeory of this. it's completely wiped. I try hard to remember it but cannot. But it did happen, and it was really fucked up, and I recommend anyone stay away from mxe that isn't fluffy white floury stuff.
So take this as you will and like I said I no longer use the drug, because it's too powerful, and especially because of the bad batches around nowdays.8(
Anyway, I started using mxe back at the end of '10 early '11. It quickly became my favorite substance of all time and by the summer I was using it basically every day, more for an anti depressant than a "fix," well at least for a while.
My first mind-blowing and life-altering experience with the mxe + dmt combo was early summer 2010. I was visiting a friend's apartment, and he was trying to convince me to extract dmt with him. To persuade me (and my girlfriend at the time) he packed about 3 tenths of his yellow dmt crystals into a pipe, and first let me girlfriend hit it.
She took a small puff and said she was good. So then it was my turn. I hadn't told anybody that I'd consumed around 80mg of mxe an hour or two earlier, in the form of my "Silly Patch Kids" aka sour patch split open, filled with mxe, and then squished shut (I invented them hehe).
Anyway, I proceeded to take a large rip from the bowl. I immediately was out of my head but somehow the shaman friend of mine got me to consume 2 more giant rips of the dmt. I just about finished off what was left of the 3 tenths.
The next thing that happened was, as "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" played on the speakers, I began to seize. Very hard.
My girlfriend and friend had to hold me down on the couch for fear of me flailing offf and hurting myself.
To the outsiders looking at me, this seizing lasted about 15-20 minutes.
But to me, it lasted a billion years, and the best way I can describe what I felt is that every soul/being that I've ever known in my entire life, people, family, animals, plants, imaginary friends etc were all around me, flooding me with ALL their love. It was pulsing through me, like my head had exploded and I was ejaculating out of my soul.
When I finally came back (sort of) I just bawled, out of pure joy, and all I could say was "I'm so happy!" I told the people there, "I don't need money anymore! You can have all of it I don't need anything I'm so happy! I want to give this feeling to my mom!"
My gf at the time: "Honey I don't think your mom would like it"
Anyway, I couldn't stop crying. We eventually left to go watch my gf's sister play harp at the ice cream shop, but I was still tripping REALLY hard, as if I'd taken a medium sized rip of dmt but it would not fade away. I must have sounded nuts because my girlfriend got kind of worried, didn't understand why the trip wasn't going away.
I was able to contain myself at the ice cream shop. But that night I went home still very very psychadelically intoxicated.
The next morning (a good 18 hours later) my parents awoke to me knocking on their door. I immediately broke down crying to them, telling them how happy I was and how thankful I was for everything they've done for me and how much they love me. Told them I was sorry for everythign I put them through as a son. Told them I wanted to do better with my life. All of this until they too were in tears.
That was an incredibly powerful experience, but I didn't do dmt for a long time after.
It's definitely a glowing experience, with a very positive outcome (except the seizure probably wasn't good for me).
This next story is very powerful as well, but shows how negative this outcome can be.
-----------------
About 18 months after the previous experience I found myself living with my Aunt, after becoming very, very emotionally dependent on mxe over that time period. At that time I was going through the ten gram bags of mine in 5 days or less.
Yes, that's 2 grams a day. And guess what, I would plug my doses.
So one day, after I had been strung out without sleep for about 3 days, my (current) gf came to take my stash out of my shaking hands until I could get some sleep and stuff.
I told her "yeah, that's all of it." When really I had taken out something like .8 to do that day and night. She took everything she could find but she had no idea how much mxe I was supposed to have.
That night came, and it was just another night of k/m-holing to me, so I loaded my oral syringe up with my normal starting dose of about 120mg and up my bum it went.
Tolerance is a bitch, and I had little patience, so before I even allowed proper time for the dose to hit I loaded it back up with what I remember to be about 3 tenths. I wanted to trip balls.
And trip balls I did.
At this point I had the greatest idea ever: I was going to smoke a bowl of weed on the comeup (BAD idea for me, mxe + weed = I think I'm dying). A bowl of weed with DMT on top. Just a little dmt, it can't do that much!
So anyway, I smoked the bowl, and here's what happened.
It was about 2 or so in the morning, thunderstorming outside. The thunderstorm was for me. My mind filled with a very euphoric realization? delusion? that we are all just balls of energy, colliding in to other balls of energy, that if one ball of energy falls off the path of life there's an energy net of love to catch it, a feeling of connection and oneness with the universe and all other souls. (It was deeper than this but that's all I can put in words.) I had finally found the meaning to the universe and I was ready to die, it was my time; once you figure out what I did you have no reason to live anymore (that's what I thought.)
So I ran outside into the thunderstorm, expecting God to send a lightning bolt down to zap me to heaven.
Why wasn't I rising up? Ohhhhhh it was because I was clothed. So, I took my clothes off, and proceeded to walk down the street repeating "AWESOME OPOSSUM! FUCK YEAH" ( I was goign to heaven, fuck yeah.)
I ran around in the thunderstorm naked expecgting to go to heaven for some time, during which the neighbors reported a naked boy making monkey sounds walking around the neighborhood.
Once I realized what i was doing and that I was tripping, I ran home, somehow i was three streets away lol.
I ran into the house, put my clothes back on, and went to bed.
Next thing I knew I was handcuffed on my Aunts couch, her and my cousin looking terrified that cops were going through all my shit. They had knocked on the door and my Aunt let them in, and allowed them to search my things.
I was tripping balls and couldn't talk. All I could do was watch them break open my safe, field test the dmt, field test the mxe, and the 25i blotters I had. Apparently they thought the mxe/dmt were heroin. They threw me in an ambulance and took me to the University hospital downtown.
At the hospital, I was STILL tripping balls, this was something like 7am, and the doctors would ask me "How are you doing?" and I would say "I'm doing awesome. I'm tripping balls!"
"How are you feeling?"
"I feel fucking fantastic."
I finally came down around noon and realized the gravity of what happened, that I was on police hold at the hospital, that I was goign to jail, that I was fucked. My mom was in the room with me watching me bawl my eyes out, say8ing "please don't let them put me in jail I need help I just want to be happy"
They didn't take me to jail. They took me to the psych ward. Where I sat in a chair until 3am that next night. The lady told me "your aunt called and said to tell you not to come back." They released me onto the street downtown at 3am, with no home to go to, no phone or wallet, no jacket. What the FUCK?
I was able to ask to borrow a phone on the street and get a hold of my friend to pick me up. He picked me up, and took me back to his parent's to crash for the night. We did a bunch of mxe. I'm still pretty unhappy with him for giving it to me after what happened. But I wasn't gonna say no.
For the longest time I didn't hear anything, I thought that the police genuinely were just worried for my sefety and took me to the hosp, confiscted my shit, and were going to leave me alone.
But 2 months after the incident I was driving my car, just gotten my license back, on the way to my po box to pick up more mxe. Got stuck in slow traffic, with a cop behind me. They auto-ran my plates and pulled me over. Pulled a gun on me and caled for backup. Made me get out of the car and walk backwards etc. Wouldn't tell me what happened for like an Hour of sitting in his car. Finally he told me I was being arrested for warrants of poss./trafficking of dmt.
Didn't go to court for 4 months. They dropped the trafficking, and 9 MONTHs later I finally started court-ordered rehab. They just "didn't have room." Guess how much mxe I did in those nine months? A lot.
Like I said, I no longer use it, and I'm getting better. I don't know if this story is meant to help others or just be interesting. It is what it is.
Oh and here's one more story. I received a very odd/bad batch of the "crystal ball" mxe, kind of styrafoamy feeling crystals, clear-to-white, dessicant sized to powder. I don't think it's mxe. I would eat, snort, plug doses up to 150mg without ANY effects.
This is why one day I decided to plug like 300mg or so and see if I got ANY thing. I didn't feel anyhthing so I went over to my gf's to help her dig a hole.
I don't remember anything from arriving at her house, getting out of my car and saying "Are you a Buddhist? TAKE ME WITH YOU!" to waking up in the hospital to the doctors telling me I almost died, my bp has high as soemone running a marathon, heart rate way too high.
This is what my gf says happened: her and her mom walked me inside, as I had absolutely no balance. I said weird things like " I sucked *a male friend's* dick." which didn't happen. Then I went unconcoius, and when I awoke I flailed my arms and legs, threw the couch pillows, and fought those who tried to hold me down or calm me down. I ended up convulsing with my tongue out and when my gf's stepdad held me down or whatever I ripped his shirt and bit him. He socked me across the face.
They proceeded to call an ambulance, which took me to the hospital, and I was there for hours before my memory kicked back in. Like if you ask ME I would tell you this NEVER happened, I have absolutely NO memeory of this. it's completely wiped. I try hard to remember it but cannot. But it did happen, and it was really fucked up, and I recommend anyone stay away from mxe that isn't fluffy white floury stuff.
So take this as you will and like I said I no longer use the drug, because it's too powerful, and especially because of the bad batches around nowdays.8(
