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my girlfriends parents snatched her from me.

  • Thread starter Thread starter BADGUY?
  • Start date Start date
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BADGUY?

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Love anonymous posting. thanks to everyone beforehand for reading this thread. I'm just currently really lost I don't know what to do.

Background information: We are 2 22 y.o college students. She is a cutter, anorexic, and mad depression but she was getting treatment...both graduating in may

I guess her parents surprized visited her after missing her therapist appointment because we took alot of klonopin (she's perscribed) and smoked alot of bud.

her parents came to her place and found a big bag of weed, a container of rolls, doses, her new toro bong and shit.

So they think im some crazy ass violent drug peddler. They snatched her. I'm pretty sure she is institutionalized right now... which means she will not be able to graduate WTF!

Her cellphone is on and her parents are ignoring my calls but keeping the phone charged... her mom changed her voicemail to her voice.... wont talk to me....wont tlel me where she is..... and the last text i got from her was that she loved me and they weren't igng to bring us apart......I cannot get any information on this girl and she can't find a way to contact me either!

My question for you guys is... this girl is withdrawing from alot of shit right now and may threaten suicide.... How long do they keep people institutionalized for psychiatric care?

I have vacation plane tickets to another country, concert tickets , festival tickets valued in like thousands of dollars with this girl within the next 2 months... and if she just dissapears like this... I gotta know if i need to sell some tickets or not kinda....

thanks
 
One of my ex boyfriends was taken to the psychiatric unit by the cops a few years ago and he was forced to stay either 24 or 48 hours (I forget which, but I know it wasn't long), and after that he was able to sign himself out.

On the other hand, my cousin who has consistently been in and out of hospitals for the last 6 years, has been forced to stay much longer. But that is because he threatens suicide a lot and gets himself into a lot of legal trouble.
 
Sell you tickets cause unless you snatch her & take her away from her parents (not a good idea), im sure her parents are not gonna let her fly away with you for concerts & what not. Dont take this the worng way, but her parents want the best for their daughter & seeing her doing drugs, cutting, etc is some parents worst nightmare.
 
TheLostBoys said:
Sell you tickets cause unless you snatch her & take her away from her parents (not a good idea), im sure her parents are not gonna let her fly away with you for concerts & what not. Dont take this the worng way, but her parents want the best for their daughter & seeing her doing drugs, cutting, etc is some parents worst nightmare.
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I agree completely. I mean you may not see it now but finding klonopins and rolls on a girl's boyfriend is probably pretty scary for a parent to find. I mean can you blame them? Especially if they are paying for her college... they definitely aren't paying for that. Is she withdrawing from klonopin?
 
sell the tickets and be happy she is getting the help she needs. it sounds to me like her parents did what it is best for her.
 
villian said:
sell the tickets and be happy she is getting the help she needs. it sounds to me like her parents did what it is best for her.
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simple, accurate and sound statement.

apologies if I am reading the general attitude of the OP but it sounds as if you view your girl as property. Not trying to be a dick but you sound more concerned about your own potential material losses (girlfriend included) than her actual well-being.

Sell the tickets and let her get well with the support of those who's love isn't based on superficial nonsense
 
OverDone said:
simple, accurate and sound statement.

apologies if I am reading the general attitude of the OP but it sounds as if you view your girl as property. Not trying to be a dick but you sound more concerned about your own potential material losses (girlfriend included) than her actual well-being.

Sell the tickets and let her get well with the support of those who's love isn't based on superficial nonsense
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These were exactly my thoughts too.
 
Reply

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=566344

1 anon post never is enough to give you Blers enough information....

I only gave the background information as setting the stage... Obviously i'm very bitter right now I could jsut choose someone else to go with so NO it is not the material aspect


It is the fac tthat it was ME who has been supportive of her mental health this whole time while she's been away from home at school ..... now her parents blame me for everything and don't tell em a single thing about her, they didn't even tell ME she was in an institution.. it is the only rational thought in my mind after she's missing for over a week from school...from her extra cirriculars... from everything.... straight up dissapeared

Can you read the bitterness?

I don't view her as a property... I wanted her to get help in the first place... I just thought I would have the opportunity to say good bye or something...
 
Look I think the property comment was obviously overkill and I doubt anyone really believes that.

I'm sure you have feelings for this girl and this situation is messing with your head big time. But I also want you to keep in mind that people have lost a lot more throughout the course of their lives than just a girl - from drug use that is.

You said you were "supportive" of her mental health, but lets be real, you're not a doctor.
How does smoking weed, doing E, and popping klonopins till she misses doctors appointment of all things align with being "supportive"? It doesn't. I'm sure she liked engaging in these activities but any vulnerable & confused college girl would likely be the same. She has problems, you're offering her an escape, so no suprise she took to it as she did.

Also no suprise that her parents did what they did. The girl already has serious enough issues w/out the drugs, and no disrespect to you but getting a person like that invovled in drugs on top of everything else... I mean what did you expect the parents to say/do ? "No big deal, we understand you were just trying to counsel our daughter of her deepseed insecurities by giving her drugs?!" Rather than take her to an ana meeting, or a seminar on eating disorders, or find her a doctor to deal with her depression... you give her drugs.

This is precisely the reason I don't date. Because although I'm an addict I could never put up with dating an addict. And I would also never subject a sober normal girl to the absolutely corrupt life I live so dating is out of the question. If that girl was anorexic and depressed, I'd honestly feel like a dirt bag feeding her drugs. That bold statement is coming from a DRUG ADDICT. Could you even imagine the types of thoughts her parents must be having?

You have a right to be bitter. Her parents have activated their survival mechanisms for their daughters safety and that doesn't always involve logical thought. You prob feel like they think you're a bad person, and you know you're not, so it eats at you. But there IS something about you that they don't agree with. Thats all that matters. I sure as hell wouldn't want my anorexic/depressed college aged daugther hanging out with a drug user, would you?

Why would they tell you what institution she was in? So you could find her? And if you *actually* cared for her wellfare you'd see where she is is wayyy more beneficial to her health than school or extra cirriculars. When my parents found out about my opiate use same thing happened to me. I was ripped right out of classes and thrown in a dual detox/psychward. Also, there is NO limit to how long she will be in there. After the evaluation is done if they find she's a threat to herself (which they may) they can transfer her to a long term facility which is what these places are designed to do. She will likely get out when she is cleared by a doctor, there is rarely ever a specific time frame for that. If its ONLY a detox its usually 1-2 weeks. Mental disorders can lead to long term admission, which is precisely the reason I lied so early and said I wasn't suicidal when I still was. I wanted to GTFO of that place.

Its truley unfortunate that things happened so fast and unexpected, but thats how most drug interventions happen. Its also what makes them effective. Telling her "we'll take you when you're ready to go" is usually not effective, she'd never go.

In the long run if you REALLY did anything positive for this girl, after she's detoxd and been away for you long enough, she will KNOW instinctively whether or not you are good for her at that point. After all the initial drama chills she'll have time to think for herself. And if she wants you back, most women are relentless in doing so.

Last its very unlikely you'll get back together with her again. Unless you went to rehab too and somehow were able to convince the parents you were straight. But even then they likely wouldn't trust you for a long time. I know its got to be eating you up, and going through your head every minute "I want this girl back", but thats not your choice to make. Its better to accept this fact now then prolong the agony fantasizing about her walking back into your arms one day. Many people deal with pain for so long after breakups as a way of not accepting its really over. Thats why its best to not fantasize at all.
 
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When this happens, it's rare the two kids see each other again, known from personal experience. The only thing that could come from this is a parental induced restraining order for blowing up the phone. Sorry man
 
Most treatment centers are 1-3 months. For someone who requires more intensive treatment, it could be 6 months to multiple years.

The second time I went to rehab for substance abuse, they said it was possible for me to be out in 3 months, and I didn't end up leaving for a year.

Hey just hope it's not hotel california
 
That's a pretty scary situation to be in and I'm sorry to hear this.

Obviously I guess a way to avoid this is to find a girl whose parents don't really care for her. She can be just as lovable, and then her parents won't be in any position of power to take control of her life.

It sounds like she could use some time by herself - was therapy working for her?

Could you have been indirectly exacerbating depression? Or were you helping?

If she told you things like you were helping, etc, I don't see a reason for them to have "kidnapped" her.

She is 22 years old right? She's an adult and it's up to her if she wants to be "controlled" by her parents. She will have to be the one to stand up to them, I don't think there is much you can do.
 
Many parents who aren't clued up will do what they believe is protecting their children, you would think that in todays world most parents would not be that extreme but loving parents will do what they deem necessary, maybe after how you described her she may need some therapy type shit, so she can begin to love herself first.
That does not mean you are the bad person her folks think you are, what i think you should do is to write a letter to her parents describing your feelings and intentions to their daughter and to make them see you aren't some evil influence on her and subtly let them know the more they try to seperate you the more they will push her away, eventually even lose her.
Whatever you do do not fight them, you both care for her, so it would be beneficial to work together on this.
 
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