My gambling addiction, the path to suicide!

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Fiver each way[/

least someone can make a joke about it , made me smile anyways .

Thanks for the serious advice, if I ban myself from ring games I know I can make it bk into the poker world, but this is degenerate thinking!

Thanks for the serious reponse, I thought some people who are addicted too drugs and the like can see that gambling is up there with the worst of addictions!

Mr smokes blunt, that post seems so close too home and at the same time makes so much sense. Thank you for your serious advice and hasn't trolled my serious issue. I suffer with bipolar too and I am losing the will too live anymore, I used too be scared of death but now I'm embaracing it! I think I should go see a doctor but I feel gp's dnt understand gambling addiction as it's not physically addictive!

I really jus wanna sleep tonight, bit have been in bed all day! Depression has set in!

I know what's going too happen but I cnt stop it, too think 3 months ago I had 20k too name and was qulaifying for ukipt events and the like, now I can't even afford a 20 bag of bud because my income is non existant, god I'm such a hopeless degen! And too think I am tight with my money :/ ffs!

I am going too ban myself from ring games as of now, that may help some as I cnt lose $100 in one hand !

I wnt stop playing mtt's, I know that much but if I lose this last k then at least I can't spend anymore money on it! Maybe it's for the best I bust everything, then at least I will be free from this hell n maybe start looking for a job, hard though at 24 after being sacked from my last job over 3 years ago.

I do play till exhaustion and do dream about it through the day.

This addiction is much worse than any drug addiction I have ever suffered, it's like mental torture, again thanks for the serious resposes they do make me feel better about this, I feel so lonely at the moment and a forum is the only way I can talk as those close too me arnt the best people too confront about it

This is the thing mate - you are almost certainly losing in the cash games/sitngos because you are used to playing weaker hands in the mtts. It's a different strategy on those tables, and even if you think you're playing tight you probably aren't. I honestly believe you when you say that you can win and keep winning on mtts. Enough that you will probably keep on increasing your bank roll til you get to where you were before. But once you get up there again I can also guarantee that greed will grab you by the bollocks and make you fritter it all away again. $80k sounds like a lot of money, but it isn't considering the amount of work you've put in and the hold it has on your life. Eating, drinking, and sleeping poker is no way to make a living. It fucking sucks. Just think you can spend a minimum of 5000 hours over the next year building your way back up to $80k only to lose it all again, or you could spend that 5000 hours doing something more positive that will leave you with something that lasts. Seriously just ban yourself entirely from all of the games now before you flush another year down the drain! You are talking about continuing something that is making you consider death when there is so much more to life than watching numbers on a screen on your own in a dark room 16 hours a day. Plus, I don't know if you've thought about it, but when you win some other person whose probably just as addicted is losing.

The problem with gambling is that the buzz you get from winning a hand is about half as strong as the negative feeling you get from losing a hand. Start a course in something that interests you or something?

This is just what I have gleaned from a relatively short gambling stint by the way...

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

What's the difference that somehow makes one an addiction? Serious question, I'd like to know. I'm sure anyone you speak to will want to know too!

You're not an addict if you win apparently Some of those 'pros' I see on TV who have made millions are just totally empty and running on miserable auto pilot. They are still addicts even if they are lucky.

 

[Bare_head]

What's the difference that somehow makes one an addiction? Serious question, I'd like to know. I'm sure anyone you speak to will want to know too!

well i am a bad ring game player, i have a high aggression factor in cash games and have tilt issues which doesn't help, mtt's u pay a small sum for a high return on investment, sometimes u bust for a measly $100 , sometimes you win a few grand.

cash games its your money against theres, one cooler (ie AA against KK all in pre) will cost you $100 in 6 seconds.

mtt's u can play for up too 8 hours and only have spent a tenner or something, you see what i am getting at ?

i am addicted too poker fullstop, and the losses make you want too make it back.. but mtt's are what i win in, cash games are what i lose in, boredom has cost me almost 20 thousand dollars over 3 months. not having a gf doesnt help, but who wants too be with a degen gambler ? :/

i really am gonna take this step , holdem manager has made me see where i am going wrong, its me that can only change that though i guess

wish i never found poker ! but as someone said earlier at 24 i could look back at this as a silly mistake i made.

thanks again for all the reponses, they do mean alot . every single one of them has definitely motivated me too stop this for good !

lets hope the next few days goes well for me (not in a gambling sense either)

peace out too everyone much love and respect.

 

[Bare_head]

You're not an addict if you win apparently Some of those 'pros' I see on TV who have made millions are just totally empty and running on miserable auto pilot. They are still addicts even if they are lucky.

so true ! mr smokes you seem too grasp poker well and as they do say your not an addict if your winning :/

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Good luck Make sure you put that money to good use, you could get a sizeable holiday out of that!

 

[knock]

Just remember what MSB has said, even when you're winning the game, you're not winning at life because you could be doing something so much more worthwhile / fun!

 

[Bare_head]

This is the thing mate - you are almost certainly losing in the cash games/sitngos because you are used to playing weaker hands in the mtts. It's a different strategy on those tables, and even if you think you're playing tight you probably aren't. I honestly believe you when you say that you can win and keep winning on mtts. Enough that you will probably keep on increasing your bank roll til you get to where you were before. But once you get up there again I can also guarantee that greed will grab you by the bollocks and make you fritter it all away again. $80k sounds like a lot of money, but it isn't considering the amount of work you've put in and the hold it has on your life. Eating, drinking, and sleeping poker is no way to make a living. It fucking sucks. Just think you can spend a minimum of 5000 hours over the next year building your way back up to $80k only to lose it all again, or you could spend that 5000 hours doing something more positive that will leave you with something that lasts. Seriously just ban yourself entirely from all of the games now before you flush another year down the drain! You are talking about continuing something that is making you consider death when there is so much more to life than watching numbers on a screen on your own in a dark room 16 hours a day. Plus, I don't know if you've thought about it, but when you win some other person whose probably just as addicted is losing.

The problem with gambling is that the buzz you get from winning a hand is about half as strong as the negative feeling you get from losing a hand. Start a course in something that interests you or something?

This is just what I have gleaned from a relatively short gambling stint by the way...

thank you so much mr smokes, your empathy really does console my feelings alot !

 

[spudgun]

You're not an addict if you win apparently Some of those 'pros' I see on TV who have made millions are just totally empty and running on miserable auto pilot. They are still addicts even if they are lucky.

Dunno about that. If you're winning consistently then it's not neurotic behavior. Psychological addictions are only invoked when someone says you're carrying on despite harming yourself.

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

Dunno about that. If you're winning consistently then it's not neurotic behaviour, as it's a psychological addiction. It only becomes addiction when someone says you're carrying on despite harming yourself.

Doing anything for 12-16 hours a day that you can't get out of your head is harming yourself, even if it increases your bank balance.

 

[Mr Smokes Blunts.]

thank you so much mr smokes, your empathy really does console my feelings alot !

No problem mate, please let us know how you get in

 

[badandwicked]

I watched this a while ago and it helped me understand gambling addiction. People who become addicted have their brains wired differently, its interesting. A friend of mine committed suicide a few days ago so that word jumped out at me from your thread title, not a word you used lightly I'm sure. I'm glad you're getting help.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01dk5s7

 

[spudgun]

Doing anything for 12-16 hours a day that you can't get out of your head is harming yourself, even if it increases your bank balance.

I agree it's not healthy, but that definition broadens the scope to an extent that it makes the term 'addict' almost meaningless, and where would we be without it?

 

[Allein]

I'm surprised you've managed to stay on top financially I've had quite allot of experience with casinos in the UK a little in the US but all through work not pleasure and whilst I am fascinated by Hold 'em I've never played for money, well once in the us and it was on the screens round the bar to get free drinks.

What I do know is that the house always wins, the casino chains I have dealt with are dripping with cash, and the online sites are getting bigger and richer by the day.

I agree this is just as much an addiction as taking a physical drug, you have behaviour patterns and kicks built round the whole thing, so you need to treat it in the same way as you would a drug addiction and CT, of course that sounds easier than it is in reality but from what you have said it sounds to me like the only way.

In my view any other course will not rid you of this habit, you are making all sorts of complex plans to carry on abusing just like many of us do to carry on with our chosen vice .

I'm not sure what advice to offer you on how you stop, it's down to you and you only in the end, you could do all that complex self banning but if you really wanted to I'm sure you would find a way or maybe even deliberately leave yourself a backdoor ...just in case.

I also suffer from depression and in general life is shit and work is almost always shit, but what your doing now is really messing you up and clearly not healthy for you, dig deep make a plan, set a date and stop, do it yourself, don't make it more complicated than it is. Like you indicated its an addiction, if it was H you were doing that dealer would only ever be a phone call away so you have to get your head round just not doing it anymore.

Best of luck

 

[Munroe]

Most betting shops have a "sensible gambling policy", I'm pretty sure on most of the online bookies you can choose to delete your account forever or for a certain amount of time.

You could just set a limit on how much you can deposit each month and have someone close to you set the password for making deposits so you don't get tempted to lift it.

Also make a ceiling level to withdraw money, i.e every time you hit £300 withdraw £200 and play with the rest.

 

[knock]

I agree it's not healthy, but that definition broadens the scope to an extent that it makes the term 'addict' almost meaningless, and where would we be without it?

Yes, fundamentally it's subjective, or involves a value judgement, whether something is harmful or not. But I find it unlikely that a gambling addict could successfully compartmentalise their gambling into addictive and non-addictive parts. At least, it seems like a high-risk strategy, especially when that person is talking about suicide.

 

[spudgun]

Yes, fundamentally it's subjective, or involves a value judgement, whether something is harmful or not. But I find it unlikely that a gambling addict could successfully compartmentalise their gambling into addictive and non-addictive parts. It seems like a high-risk strategy.

It's not for the 'addict' to self-identify though, is it?

 

[i against i]

er i would disagree, who, being addicted is doing a substance against ones one better judgement, that is the definition...

 

[knock]

It's not for the 'addict' to self-identify though, is it?

I don't know what you mean, sorry!

I mean, I understand the words but I don't see how it is a response to my post.

 

[spudgun]

Yeh, you're probably right. I was just trying to say it doesn't mean anything unless it's got the baggage that goes with it. Don't want to derail the thread with semantic self-indulgence.

 

[knock]

And there I was, getting all ready to wallow in semantics