dragonix
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2021
- Messages
- 1,337
Why do they think they can fix everyone if you do exactly as they say? This is what they say. Do exactly as my sponsor says I will never drink again.
Does anyone understand why studies or some research is showing only 5 to 10% of people who try these groups succeed?
My sponsor did tell I would get drunk last night. He didn't assume I wouldn't. I also heard about someone who would always leave and come back has like seven Big Books from people giving him another one each time he came back.
I am not sure how this can be the only solution on the planet to overcome vice but they are giving me the impression nothing else will work and I was so desperate I sat long enough to hear that recently.
My mind could be playing tricks on me already. I don't feel neglected by the people I have met and especially the ones I am trying to commit to who my sponsor encourages me to be around. He has already told me to avoid certain people and when someone wants me to do something at these meetings to tell him first and he talks to his grand sponsor about it next or definitely was running a lot by him I could tell he also said he was at times so I trust that kind of guidance more than if he were just making demands on me and they are more like suggestions but what is the point of having a sponsor if you don't listen and follow their advice.
So I get upset and negative about very wholesome things unrelated to this beneficial and harmless program really (it feels like at least to me) so how can I say oh they are making me feel worse already?
I cannot make a rational conclusion about anything right now and with the kindness shown to me thus far I am not choosing to abandon trying this AA group out my sponsor attends.
I wanted to place blame on them already for making me feel worse about trying to recover but I am now withdrawaling from Delta 8 THC (cry for me Argentina it isn't bad just grumpy) and nicotine withdrawal will set in soon making me feel like a furious monster inside probably but I am more resolved than ever to cut that demon down quick this time. How can I say going to these groups and having to have my sponsor take me and have me stay out later than I wanna be which leaves me little to no time to meditate fully before bed...SIGH
The truth about fully trying to commit to a 12 Step group for me at least only since I have been clean again for going on 3 days now is that these guys helped me burn through more fear than I have in I don't know how many years of having this fear. I faced discomfort a ton already it felt very hard. I did not run away just yet. Watch me go call an addiction specialist if I quit this attempt at working with this meeting location in particular and never show up at a 12 Step Group ever again.
Does anyone understand why studies or some research is showing only 5 to 10% of people who try these groups succeed?
My sponsor did tell I would get drunk last night. He didn't assume I wouldn't. I also heard about someone who would always leave and come back has like seven Big Books from people giving him another one each time he came back.
I am not sure how this can be the only solution on the planet to overcome vice but they are giving me the impression nothing else will work and I was so desperate I sat long enough to hear that recently.
My mind could be playing tricks on me already. I don't feel neglected by the people I have met and especially the ones I am trying to commit to who my sponsor encourages me to be around. He has already told me to avoid certain people and when someone wants me to do something at these meetings to tell him first and he talks to his grand sponsor about it next or definitely was running a lot by him I could tell he also said he was at times so I trust that kind of guidance more than if he were just making demands on me and they are more like suggestions but what is the point of having a sponsor if you don't listen and follow their advice.
So I get upset and negative about very wholesome things unrelated to this beneficial and harmless program really (it feels like at least to me) so how can I say oh they are making me feel worse already?
I cannot make a rational conclusion about anything right now and with the kindness shown to me thus far I am not choosing to abandon trying this AA group out my sponsor attends.
I wanted to place blame on them already for making me feel worse about trying to recover but I am now withdrawaling from Delta 8 THC (cry for me Argentina it isn't bad just grumpy) and nicotine withdrawal will set in soon making me feel like a furious monster inside probably but I am more resolved than ever to cut that demon down quick this time. How can I say going to these groups and having to have my sponsor take me and have me stay out later than I wanna be which leaves me little to no time to meditate fully before bed...SIGH
The truth about fully trying to commit to a 12 Step group for me at least only since I have been clean again for going on 3 days now is that these guys helped me burn through more fear than I have in I don't know how many years of having this fear. I faced discomfort a ton already it felt very hard. I did not run away just yet. Watch me go call an addiction specialist if I quit this attempt at working with this meeting location in particular and never show up at a 12 Step Group ever again.
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