Several years ago, I received an ampoule of IV midazolam solution. I was much less extreme and diverse in my drug-using habits then, sticking mostly to cannabis, psychedelics, benzos and the odd ecstasy piill, and after a short while of consideration, decided not to shoot it. I either plugged it or took it orally; all I noticed was that it was far less strong than I had expected.
The last year was the worst year of my life. I started it still in shatters after the abrupt and quite brutal, heart-wrenching and disrespectful end of a 2-year relationship. I was on benzos for at least 30% of the year, probably close to 50%, and my studies had grinded to a halt. I was perpetually broke, mostly very anti-social, and involuntarily celibate for several months. I had some of the worst agoraphobia, GAD, panic attacks, and actual depression for the first time in my life.
I had harbored a curiosity for IV administration before, but now when life was already giving me so much trouble, it felt like a less drastic measure - after all, one bit of bad to go with all the rest of the shit.
So one day I decided to try morphine intravenously1. 10mg was a highly conservative starting dose, and I should have known with my natural insensitivity I'd need more, but I decided to play it safe, as intravenous opiate use is relatively risky among recreational drug use. I cannot say that I felt more than the mildest threshold effects.
Dissatisfied, the next time I put 40mg in the syringe, with no tolerance, and shot that up2. This produced the strongest rush I'd ever experienced, beating the rush from smoking methamphetamine that had held the record untilt then. I felt no nausea, negligible side effects, and was no bothered in the least by slight itching. It was highly euphoric.
The next time I found myself using a syringe, I wanted to feel what IV cocaine felt like, as I had heart it was completely different to other methods of administration.3. I cannot remember the starting dose, between 20-50mg, but the coke was relatively pure and I felt euphoric effects almost as strong as the morphine rush, though very different in nature. I soon shot up again, this time with a dose in the 70-100mg range4. This took the top spot from the morphine; I had never felt such intensely euphoric physical stimulation and empowerment as this, despite the nausea and somewhat alarming physical reactions.
It was my fifth time injecting anything when I came closer to death than I have ever been. The cocaine was well over 80% pure and I shot up 200mg5 .It was worse than the most terrifying panic attack in my life, as the physical symptoms seemed far more intense, and I was also convulsing wildly. Afterwards I was highly aloof, panicky, paranoid and agitated for a good while. I had never been so certain that I was dying. I decided never to inject cocaine again.
The sixth time I injected a drug, it happened to be heroin6. The first injection, apparently of mid-quality heroin, was pleasurable but far from the euphoria of the morphine. The same happened the second7 and third8 times. The fourth time the purity and dose were finally adequate, and I felt the difference to morphine - a strong difference. This was the cleanest, most pure and forceful yet comfortable euphoria I had ever felt9. I injected heroin twice more; the fifth was pleasurable10, a well-estimated dose, and so was the next11, but my friend overshot his dose slightly and his heart and breathing stopped. I revived him after god knows how many minutes of CPR, but have never been so afraid in my life. I decided never to inject heroin again.
A substance I initially thought would never feel the need to inject was oxycodone, yet somehow this ended up happening too. 50mg oxycodone12 was euphoric but produced no memorable rush to speak of, and was equivalent to only slightly more oral oxycodone, which lasts slightly longer. Decided this was not worth shooting.
As I discovered pyrazolam was water-soluble, I had to try this too. 1mg13 produced a mild rush, but not highly powerful or intense. However, this was the only way to get any recreational effects from pyrazolam.
My next three injections were morphine again, 40mg14, 50mg15, and 60mg16, which were highly pleasant experiences as before.
One night I accidentally ingested way too much methamphetamine and decided I wanted to sleep instead of tweak for one more night, possibly two. I also wanted to get to sleep immediately as I felt horrible and the shadow people were assembling, so I injected 10mg levomepromazine/methotrimeprazine (Nozinan) 17. The antipsychotic and sedative effects manifested themselves very quickly and I was soon sound asleep.
The next item I would administer intravenously would be midazolam. I attempted it once in normal tap water without doing enough research, and felt fuck all from 15mg Dormicum18. I then lowered the water pH with vinegar, and shot up another 15mg19. I could feel it, a slightly jolly, slow feeling similar to alcohol intoxication, but it was not very strong and short-lived.
Finally I filtered 45mg Dormicum20 and finally experienced the euphoria of intravenous midazolam. The most euphoric benzo experience I have had.
The latest was an attempt to find out which side of the story held true for me - would shooting up (meth)amphetamine cause a euphoric rush? I weighed out 200mg of crank powder which had earlier been determined by oral and nasal adminsitration to be both relatively high-purity, and also relatively high in meth content. I injected the solution21, and awaited a rush - none came. Within 20 seconds I simply felt like I was suddenly on a lot of amphetamines, with no trace of euphoria or a rushing sensation. Simply an immediate onset of peak effects. It made me feel slightly nauseous, but otherwise fine - it just seemed to make the onset even faster, that's all. Among the most disappointing IV experiments.
The last year was the worst year of my life. I started it still in shatters after the abrupt and quite brutal, heart-wrenching and disrespectful end of a 2-year relationship. I was on benzos for at least 30% of the year, probably close to 50%, and my studies had grinded to a halt. I was perpetually broke, mostly very anti-social, and involuntarily celibate for several months. I had some of the worst agoraphobia, GAD, panic attacks, and actual depression for the first time in my life.
I had harbored a curiosity for IV administration before, but now when life was already giving me so much trouble, it felt like a less drastic measure - after all, one bit of bad to go with all the rest of the shit.
So one day I decided to try morphine intravenously1. 10mg was a highly conservative starting dose, and I should have known with my natural insensitivity I'd need more, but I decided to play it safe, as intravenous opiate use is relatively risky among recreational drug use. I cannot say that I felt more than the mildest threshold effects.
Dissatisfied, the next time I put 40mg in the syringe, with no tolerance, and shot that up2. This produced the strongest rush I'd ever experienced, beating the rush from smoking methamphetamine that had held the record untilt then. I felt no nausea, negligible side effects, and was no bothered in the least by slight itching. It was highly euphoric.
The next time I found myself using a syringe, I wanted to feel what IV cocaine felt like, as I had heart it was completely different to other methods of administration.3. I cannot remember the starting dose, between 20-50mg, but the coke was relatively pure and I felt euphoric effects almost as strong as the morphine rush, though very different in nature. I soon shot up again, this time with a dose in the 70-100mg range4. This took the top spot from the morphine; I had never felt such intensely euphoric physical stimulation and empowerment as this, despite the nausea and somewhat alarming physical reactions.
It was my fifth time injecting anything when I came closer to death than I have ever been. The cocaine was well over 80% pure and I shot up 200mg5 .It was worse than the most terrifying panic attack in my life, as the physical symptoms seemed far more intense, and I was also convulsing wildly. Afterwards I was highly aloof, panicky, paranoid and agitated for a good while. I had never been so certain that I was dying. I decided never to inject cocaine again.
The sixth time I injected a drug, it happened to be heroin6. The first injection, apparently of mid-quality heroin, was pleasurable but far from the euphoria of the morphine. The same happened the second7 and third8 times. The fourth time the purity and dose were finally adequate, and I felt the difference to morphine - a strong difference. This was the cleanest, most pure and forceful yet comfortable euphoria I had ever felt9. I injected heroin twice more; the fifth was pleasurable10, a well-estimated dose, and so was the next11, but my friend overshot his dose slightly and his heart and breathing stopped. I revived him after god knows how many minutes of CPR, but have never been so afraid in my life. I decided never to inject heroin again.
A substance I initially thought would never feel the need to inject was oxycodone, yet somehow this ended up happening too. 50mg oxycodone12 was euphoric but produced no memorable rush to speak of, and was equivalent to only slightly more oral oxycodone, which lasts slightly longer. Decided this was not worth shooting.
As I discovered pyrazolam was water-soluble, I had to try this too. 1mg13 produced a mild rush, but not highly powerful or intense. However, this was the only way to get any recreational effects from pyrazolam.
My next three injections were morphine again, 40mg14, 50mg15, and 60mg16, which were highly pleasant experiences as before.
One night I accidentally ingested way too much methamphetamine and decided I wanted to sleep instead of tweak for one more night, possibly two. I also wanted to get to sleep immediately as I felt horrible and the shadow people were assembling, so I injected 10mg levomepromazine/methotrimeprazine (Nozinan) 17. The antipsychotic and sedative effects manifested themselves very quickly and I was soon sound asleep.
The next item I would administer intravenously would be midazolam. I attempted it once in normal tap water without doing enough research, and felt fuck all from 15mg Dormicum18. I then lowered the water pH with vinegar, and shot up another 15mg19. I could feel it, a slightly jolly, slow feeling similar to alcohol intoxication, but it was not very strong and short-lived.
Finally I filtered 45mg Dormicum20 and finally experienced the euphoria of intravenous midazolam. The most euphoric benzo experience I have had.
The latest was an attempt to find out which side of the story held true for me - would shooting up (meth)amphetamine cause a euphoric rush? I weighed out 200mg of crank powder which had earlier been determined by oral and nasal adminsitration to be both relatively high-purity, and also relatively high in meth content. I injected the solution21, and awaited a rush - none came. Within 20 seconds I simply felt like I was suddenly on a lot of amphetamines, with no trace of euphoria or a rushing sensation. Simply an immediate onset of peak effects. It made me feel slightly nauseous, but otherwise fine - it just seemed to make the onset even faster, that's all. Among the most disappointing IV experiments.
