• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

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My experience with MDMA / Ecstasy !

How have you been affected from Ecstasy use/abuse?

  • I feel Ecstasy has caused me mostly suffering.

    Votes: 15 7.0%

  • I feel Ecstasy has brought me mostly joy.

    Votes: 132 62.0%

  • Ecstasy has caused me suffering, but the benefits outweigh the risks.

    Votes: 39 18.3%

  • It has caused me both joy and suffering, but the risk outweighs the reward.

    Votes: 25 11.7%

  • I have made the decision to never take Ecstasy.

    Votes: 2 0.9%
  • Total voters
    213
Also...I still dance and they even pay me for it occasionally.... This is beside the point.
The only point I forgot to make is that I feel this drug has tremendous psychiatric benefits. I don't know if psych. Docs can still prescribe this stuff. No. We,testmonkeys, ruined it.

There's more to the compound than mindless bliss and some visuals. Respect the drug and it may reward u.

Eat it all the time like candy and be
 
Had my real first trip four days ago. I mention 'real' because last year I was at a party and a dealer sold me a pill of 'molly' but I didn't feel anything. I probably got ripped off, which sucks because I knew his friend. Anyway, moving on..

I'm in my room, alone in the house.. for now..

I bought a gram of off-white colored crushed up crystals. I didn't weigh or test it. I was like, fuck it, who cares if its bunk. I have a set of tiny measuring spoons, there's five of them in a set with varying sizes and I use the smallest one to measure (a "dash") for snorting. I snort one and it stings like a bitch!! Like something acidic. I do it once more on the other nostril. If I had to guess, the dose is between 50-60mg altogether.

I start to do more research online on how to take mdma; plugging, bombing, snorting...and yeah, people say it does sting if you snort it so maybe I DO have real stuff. I've looked up the drug before but I never thought I'd be taking the non-pill form. I remember my dealer recommending 'bombing' it. So I took an OO capsule and place 3 or 4 dashes inside. Gulp that down with water. Go outside and keep checking my watch. Onset time is supposed to be 30-45 minutes according to online anecdotes. By about 30 minutes is when I start to notice some drastic change in feeling. Like an alcohol buzz but more pronounced.

Then all of the sudden out of nowhere a rush of euphoria hits my entire body, sending chills all over. I gasp/gulp for air breathing in large amounts and I make a mental note to myself; "you are having shortness of breath". I say to myself, "oooohh myyy gooodd" as Im still feeling the rush and enjoying it immensely. I am outside loving the somewhat chilly wind hit my skin. I start to water the plants and my skin all over my body feels like it's about to get partially numb. I give my arm a slap or two to confirm this. "Man that feels good", as I start rubbing one with the other.

"So THIS is what it feels like to be on X", I think to myself and smile.

I start to reflect about my life, my family, the situation I'm in. I'm like, "Wow this is cool!" Childhood memories that were long forgotten suddenly were easily recollected; but the great thing is, as I'm replaying the childhood memories I can make judgments/assessments as to how that incident made me who I am now. How it has affected the decisions that I am making or have made. I try and make the most of this and grab some writing utensils and blank pieces of paper. Here are a few things that I wrote down:



I still haven't accepted who I really am.
It is time to grow up.
Stop going after sluts.
Be more refined; wear suits.
Have your own life.
Your family loves you.


Those are snippets of what I wrote down. There are more that I didn't transcribe here. I even attempted to do a self portrait; it's incomplete and certainly worst than if I was sober. haha.
It was very emotional and at the same time I was loving the happy feeling but it wasn't like that first rush anymore. I didn't want this feeling to end so I went and redosed hoping for another come up. Look up online on things to do on E while alone and experiences while alone...and Music! Hell yeah. I put on my favorite trance collection and EARGASM! Holy fuck.

Then I start browsing porn, holy shit I'm so horny but my dick won't get hard. I'm breathing hard; breathing from my mouth this whole time and I hear my roommate's door open; he's home from work, fuck. I look at the time and it's been 4 hours since initial dose. I lock my door as I am now naked; I have this faux fur wrapped around my neck and it feels soo good.

Anyways, to make long story short. I spent the rest of the night looking at porn pleasuring myself off in ways I never would have imagined. I pleasured myself anally (luckily I have condoms and objects). Yes, something that's always been taboo to me and considered it 'gay' before.. but you know what, I loved it. In summary, I was rolling for 12 hours and probably consumed .5 grams as I was redosing always trying to chase that first time high. I even remember the sting from plugging.

When I woke up, my room was a mess. Condoms and objects all over. I'm just hoping my roommates didn't hear anything off the wall stuff. I tried my best to be discreet but who knows. Anyways, I had this greatest urge to do MORE! I started looking online if addiction was real on the first try. All I could think about was this stuff. I wanted that first time high again and also because I wanted to use it for some introspective purposes. And since I had more within reach, that was even worse.

I tried to not touch the stuff until the following week to give myself time to fully recover and I would have too because my body was sore all over and my mouth was all fucked up. During my high I was chewing lots of gum; smoked 1/3 pack of cigs (luckily that's all I had or else I could have easily smoked 12 packs and Im not a smoker); smoked a few bowls of weed; and lots of water.

However, I caved in the second day. That was yesterday.

Second roll I didn't take as much. Probably about 150mg total, split in two dosages. I was mindful not to chew and I didn't at all. I pretty much did the same activities. Some introspective stuff and masturbation. I was able to get hard and blow my load this time.

When I woke up this morning. I didn't have any cravings for X at all. Possibly complete depletion of serotonin? Idk. I even considered throwing it out or giving it away. I'll probably just wait and save it for when I go to a club or rave.

Some things I'm noticing: mainly Paranoia. I'm like a little kid again, afraid of the dark. Believing in ghosts and shit. I tell myself, "if ghosts/monsters exist then come and get me motherfucker!" as I stare into the darkness. So annoying. I have to retrain myself of little things like this. It seems I have a lot of issues that re/surfaced, or that I was never aware of. I suppose that's good.

P.S. Even though my post seem long, there's a lot of things that I can't recollect easily from the day of first time use (like small details); while I'm sure I could have easily done so before this second dosing.
 
I've only done ecstasy 2 times. First time only half to be safe, the second time 1.5.
When it started to kick in, i instantly felt like i've had this kind of feeling. Once after a dmt trip i felt a similar joy. But then the euphoria kicked in. It came fast, but it was also so smooth. Suddenly everything was good, nothing was wrong with the world.
It was like this warm fuzzy feeling. I basically just sat at home looking at the effects list on erowid with a big smile on my face, had a few cigarettes and just enjoyed being happy cause i'm usually not.
 
How has MDMA affected you? Good, or bad?

I'm a bit interested these days in how Ecstasy Discussion is broken up into "Recovering Users" and "Current Users".. it seems there are a large amount of people who blame a LOT of their problems on MDMA, and an almost equal number of people saying they feel little to no symptoms from long term abuse.


Currently, I see myself falling somewhere in between those two categories. But, I'm interested to see how the rest of you feel. So I've created this thread and added a poll, to try and get an idea of how the current population of ED is breaking up. Please try to answer thoughtfully and explain your reasoning in the thread below.


1. I feel Ecstasy has caused me mostly suffering.
2. I feel Ecstasy has brought me mostly joy.
3. Ecstasy has caused me suffering previously, but the benefits outweigh the risks.
4. Ecstasy has caused me both joy and suffering, but the risk overshadows the reward.
5. I have made the decision to never take Ecstasy.




I choose option 3, as I have suffered immensely from "ecstasy". I cannot place all this blame on MDMA, however, and I have since recovered to nearly 100% of my former self. I feel the positives I have taken from MDMA, the empathy and compassion for others that I have developed, greatly outweigh the pain that it has caused me. If I could do it over again I sure as hell wish I didn't abuse the drug, but in the end I am glad things went the way they did, as I wouldn't be who I am today without that struggle.
 
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I went through a long recovery process but I can't imagine life without knowing the bliss on MDMA. help me get out of my shell and made my college years a great time instead of a lonely hell
 
MDMA is the best social barrier breaker ive ever used. It temporarily made me feel like a normal sociable person, and that brought meaning and value to my life, of course when you realise that you can't use it often then you soon miss these magical nights out...

maybe its because im already in a state of depression before using drugs but i always get comedowns nearly even if i dont take much
 
It's magical but considering I have vision problems and was depressed for years after using it too much I have to say it would have been better left alone.

Mostly suffering.
 
i have had great times with mdma but the positive's dont out weigh the negatives, so if i could of left it i would...
 
My experience with mdma has been largely positive. It helped me to accept my sexuality and deal with my past. In general I'm a happier and more balanced person now than I was ten years ago.
 
I chose 3... I've had bad comedowns from not taking proper breaks and abusing it, so yes I know what the suffering feels like, all that hopeless, depressed, anxiety, sometimes suicidal ideation and social isolation thing. It's a drug you learn to respect and still, you need to have good self control. But those nights out are by far the best of my life, it's memories I'll never forget and I'm not done yet. It enlighted my life though and think there's definitely more positives then negatives when taken in moderation, it also made me understand what living in the moment really means...
 
I have only had great benefits from mdma, helped me get more secure and open, probably permament improvent.
It also made me realize how lucky I am to have brothers and all the gifts I in my life, instead of the crap.
I have always been half happy, half depressed.. Depends on the day, but mdma changed something in me for the better
 
I think psychedelics can do everything mdma can for the psyche and then some....and they are easier on the body....they might not be as fun, but as far as benefits they have more. The only thing mdma can do a little better is improve interpersonal relationships with strangers/not good friends, where I think psychs are better tools for improving interpersonal relations among good friends
 
I love MDMA. As long as you take some precautions, you'll be fine. I used it quite often and it started to loose "the magic".

I haven't taken it in a couple of months and will wait a few more before I use it again.
 
I have yet to experience a "bad comedown" as described by others here. My MDMA hangovers are fairly similar to alcohol hangovers; I get some nausea, achiness in my arms and legs, and am generally mentally exhausted and physically exhausted. Most of these symptoms are due to the events of the roll: dancing, drinking lots of water/Gatorade, etc. But then again, I am still very inexperienced compared to others. I first experienced "Molly" about a year or so ago and have rolled 3 or so times since. I have taken all of the advice that I've found on these forums very seriously and although I would like to roll more often, I've read enough horror stories to take this drug seriously and not excessively use it.
 
I use MDMA very sparingly, but I have an absolute blast every time I do. I've been on BL long enough to know the dangers, but I'm very careful and I've only seen it bring joy to myself and my friends. Definitely a good thing.
 
Very surprised to see how these results have come along! Almost twice the number of voters since the last time I checked, yet "Ecstasy has brought me mostly joy" is still trailing with 60%!


Thanks for participation everyone, hopefully later this will be merged into the "My Experience with MDMA" sticky... not so sure on merging a poll though!
 
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