• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

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My experience with MDMA / Ecstasy !

How have you been affected from Ecstasy use/abuse?

  • I feel Ecstasy has caused me mostly suffering.

    Votes: 15 7.0%

  • I feel Ecstasy has brought me mostly joy.

    Votes: 132 62.0%

  • Ecstasy has caused me suffering, but the benefits outweigh the risks.

    Votes: 39 18.3%

  • It has caused me both joy and suffering, but the risk outweighs the reward.

    Votes: 25 11.7%

  • I have made the decision to never take Ecstasy.

    Votes: 2 0.9%
  • Total voters
    213
Yeah, I thought like you at first. Then I kept it up and completely fried my brain's receptors.

There doesn't seem to be much purpose to this post other than "I roll balls all the time and there is absolutely no consequences!"... so I'm going to move this into a more appropriate thread.
 
Folley said:
Yeah, I thought like you at first. Then I kept it up and completely fried my brain's receptors.

There doesn't seem to be much purpose to this post other than "I roll balls all the time and there is absolutely no consequences!"... so I'm going to move this into a more appropriate thread.
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This isnt me trying to brag, thank you for moving to appropriate section. Simply stating when i first started doing MDMA I had negative effects, lock jaw, come down next couple days not necessarily depressed but "off". When i decided this was a drug I enjoyed doing I started to do my research now I take vitamin b-6 and 12, magneisum etc pre roll, along with 1000mg of vitamin C and than next couple days 5-htp, vitamin C and try to drink OJ as my drink of choice. With that system I have expierenced no negative effects what so ever (just my expierence). Chemistry is Chemistry, and if you consistently counter act the negative biochemistry of the drug there hypotehtically should not be any negative effects. Feel free to disagree
 
I actually now have dub bags with preroll and post roll supplement routines I have ready to go for myself and any of my mates I plan on rolling with. "I don't always roll, but when I do I roll responsibly"
 
serotin depeletion is fixed with time for it to rebuild which is quicker with 5-htp, nerotoxcity which damages uptake receptors is counteracted by high dosaged of vitamin C (scientifically proven) so good sir i disagree with you though I am def open to other points of view, while most are desperatly trying to convince themselves there is no damage I am always trying to convince myself there is, but with personal expierence being what it is and my research showing that there are ways to counteract it than im at a loss if im enjoying myself (while not abusing) why not roll semi regularly my biggest reason i roll semi frequently is because its cheaper, I dont drink on molly and i get it when i get little weight at about 30 dollars a gram, so 30 dollars for cover to decent show 30 dollars molly and im partying all night, do do that drinking would cost me 100 dollars plus easy in nyc and thats for 3-4 hours of entertainment
 
mollyhead said:
serotin depeletion is fixed with time for it to rebuild which is quicker with 5-htp, nerotoxcity which damages uptake receptors is counteracted by high dosaged of vitamin C (scientifically proven) so good sir i disagree with you though I am def open to other points of view, while most are desperatly trying to convince themselves there is no damage I am always trying to convince myself there is, but with personal expierence being what it is and my research showing that there are ways to counteract it than im at a loss if im enjoying myself (while not abusing) why not roll semi regularly my biggest reason i roll semi frequently is because its cheaper, I dont drink on molly and i get it when i get little weight at about 30 dollars a gram, so 30 dollars for cover to decent show 30 dollars molly and im partying all night, do do that drinking would cost me 100 dollars plus easy in nyc and thats for 3-4 hours of entertainment
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erm... no. 5htp deregulates receptors.
 
^ I think he means desensitize, but really that's not it's problem either.


Thinking a pill will simply fix the problems caused by serotonin depletion is rather foolish though. Sure, it can help.. but it's not just going to stop the process.



Whatever though man, maybe you're different from every other individual on earth and are invincible to the drug.. who am I to say? 8)
 
My first experience with ecstasy was at a music festival (standard for most people lol). In general i am a very composed and calm guy and don't really have the ability to let loose and enjoy myself. At this particular event i had a very close source who had some good pills and offered them to me for free because he said i wasnt enjoying myself.

So i thought why not, popped one and within 15-20mins i was buzzing haha! i felt extremely social, talking to girls everywhere and talking to anyone i saw that i knew (if i wasnt on e i wouldve probably just nodded at them or waved), i was dancing, laughing, smiling and in general very very happy! to keep the buzz going my friend (who loved the new me) gave me another one and it just took me onto a whole new level, i had this euphoric high that i had never ever felt before in my life and it made everything that was happening around me feel 100x's better. Ever since then i've gone with the saying if its not broken dont fix it, so i havent gone wild with my drug use, all i know is if i want to have a good time ecstasy (only if its from a quality source) will provide it for me.

with regard to the people i spend the whole day with at that event, they loved me. All said they wish i was like that all the time and that it was refreshing to see me so open, i'm usually very reserved and quiet because thats my nature and it was how i was brought up, but wow! ecstasy just completely changed me as a person but luckily i've got self control and can stop myself from abusing it, unlike some of my friends who can't even go out unless they pop pills and ridiculous amount of pills, its unfortunate that some people need to go to extremes
 
Note: I've only taken MDMA (if I can recall correctly) 7 times as of writing this post, first time being October '12

My first experience with MDMA was at a birthday party for someone I didn't really know. I'd just moved to a new city and had only made one friend so far, the friend that got me into E and PDs.

I'd been researching PDs for months after doing lots of research into psychology and neuroscience- in particular, I was interested in empathy and mirror neurons. I was also interested into what made us happy (and unhappy) because I'd been suffering chronic depression for years, I'm still not sure whether it's chemical or psychological but the trigger was definitely psychological- having to leave university because of lack of money and no support from family, losing my gf, having no real new friends in the city I lived then, all my real friends having moved to different cities for university and coming out of a bout of alcoholism (only 2 months but was physically dependent) all within a couple of weeks of each other tipped me over the edge and I failed a suicide attempt.

Years have passed and now I'm back with that same girl but I'm still not at university and I work a job I hate. When I moved here, it was going well considering and I started counselling once I got a job. This was weeks after I'd tried my first night on MDMA. In an attempt to make friends I joined some of the university societies even though I don't go to university, I just thought it would be an easy way to find people with similar interests. I joined the computer society and the guys there were not what I expected. I expected nerdy kids like myself but more social beings since they were part of a club essentially, but their meetups were stuff like doing work and learning various coding stuff- no offense to them, I'm happy for them, but I didn't have time for that on top of my own projects and having to find a job. Luckily I met one guy there who is now my best bud, who also joined to meet people as I had but wasn't necessarily interested in learning out of his course as he had plenty on his plate too.

At the first social gathering we all went to play pool which was awesome and after it I still wanted to go out, I got a bit tipsy and was ready to hit the clubs/bars/pubs of the city I'd not really been out in properly since I moved there. Only one guy agreed to stay out drinking with me- he is that best friend. We got talking about all sorts and eventually politics, religion and law etc, he was surprised at how I was so straight edge (only drank alcohol, no drugs) yet I was strongly for legalisation of all drugs, immediate decriminiliastion of all drug users and the establishment of research institutions into so called recreational drugs for treating mental illnesses as I'd read a lot about it in my neuroscience and psychology research (although somehow I missed Shulgin and my friend introduced him to me).

I was never pressured into taking anything, I was basically shown erowid and from there I kept learning, using other sources too, and got to the point where I couldn't learn much else without buying books (1, no money 2, the alternative seemed more interesting) or just trying them. I was extremely interested in the pockets of evidence around that MDMA was used in research to cure depression. My friend was going to have some one time and I asked him if I could try it and he let me have some. We made bombs before we left to go to a party with all the nerdy kids in the computer society for someone's birthday at a pub/bar.

Note: The MD I took was in crystal form and according to my friend who had used it for years, was exceptional quality.
That first experience was amazing and it completely changed my life for the better. It was probably everything positive you can read about the experience and with the only negatives, possibly some neutrals being the obvious shaking dilated pupils, shaking, sweating hands and raised heartrate and some memory loss which could have been triggered due to drinking during the night (although considerably less than I would usually drink- probably spent a third of what I usually do and drank weaker drinks than usual).

Things are complicated in many ways, mainly my girlfriend not knowing about any of my drugtaking which is not very often at all, and only occurs when she is away visiting family, however I attribute my getting out of my serious depression in many parts, to MDMA. I feel more confident in my ability to interact with other people in almost all situations now, somehow knowing that if I can do it while high I can do it when I'm normal relieves a lot of my social anxieties that I didn't even realise I had until I'd taken it. I realised my depression was caused a lot by my anxiety which I was denying I had- some I didn't even realise. I kept telling myself I was confident and the whole "faking confidence builds real confidence" spiel was convincing consciously but I think subsconsciously I knew I was still scared shitless of other people. I think a lot of this could be underlying psychological strain, abandonment issues, child abuse issues, anger problems, all pent up and just forced down (and still not dealt with if I'm honest now which I can be (fucking love this forum guys, it's good outlet for 100% honesty)). But anyway, it helped bridge a gap, in a sense, between my subconscious and conscious... reality I suppose you could call it. I'm still a pessimistic cynical piece of shit with narcissistic tendencies and a lot of pent up rage, stress, fear, sadness and guilt issues, but I'm a lot more aware of it and it helps. The bridging of the gap was nowhere near as impressive as when I tried my first psychedelic but that's for another forum.

I tried MDMA another few times including at a nightclub I used to work at on my day off. It was my first night going to the club while I wasn't working so it was strange anyway, on top of that, I took a lot more than usual and monged out a bit for the first time. The only memories of that night I have are dancing with some girls and my best bud, some guy that wanted to fight us before we went in the club giving us a hug because we were so awesome (and I think my friend had give him some MD to calm him down lol) and my, at the time, boss shining a torch in my eyes and asking was I alright and me replying I was "having a good night thanks" and nothing coming of it (he shines torches in everyones eyes when we're working too, he was a bit weird, he wasn't a mean boss or anything) and I quit that job wasn't sacked for drugs or anything, just didn't have it in me to work until 4am and be in work at 10am in another job once or twice every week or so.

Had a few other great nights with MDMA, I honestly think there is never a bad night with MDMA- I always went out with my friend when we were on it. I've never taken it alone- I doubt I ever will, I feel it would be missing a lot of what makes it so great- the social aspect... unless one day I may get into candyflipping or hippyflipping but I'm not a seasoned PD user yet and still a while off LSD or mushrooms.

The last time I took MDMA my friend and I were just chilling in mine for the first time, listening to music. It was a great night although my friend wasn't too well because he had smoked some weed during the day and has a higher tolerance than me. I hadn't ate much all day so I came up in less than 20 mins and was bouncing around dancing. My friend was tripping a bit too as he took some 4-HO-DiPT on top of his MD because it wasn't having much of an effect and he loves tripping. It was an awesome night just of friendship and music but this last trip I had the worst comedown I'd had on MD since I'd ever taken it.

Usually my comedowns consist of me sleeping for about 12 hours straight, peeing what seems like a gallon of almost brown coloured piss then drinking a liter of water and being absolutely fine, if a little groggy. Last time though, I had no time to sleep as I was in work the following day- I thought I would have time and the effects wouldn't be too bad. I drank some coffee and energy drinks to try and wake me up and I got myself into a mess of thinking. My mind circled the drain and I was fearing that I would become suicidal. I got to work feeling tired and that I might burst into tears at any moment without warning. I felt I might begin sobbing suddenly on the bus ride into town. I didn't feel right. I didn't feel myself, I felt like the world wasn't real. I was paranoid, I thought I had taken something wrong. I wondered why I hadn't felt it before, I had to keep telling myself it was just the comedown. After a few hours in work, I perked up and was back to normal, awesome considering I hate my job.

I took a significantly larger dose last time, 350-400mg, our scales aren't quite right lately but we know what we could handle and we were just staying in so could afford to zomble out on the couch if it happened. It was an awesome night and we are both clever about tolerance. Him usually waiting at least a week, usually a month between doses, me having never taken less than a month between doses.

The next time I take MDMA might not be until some time in Summer.

You're more likely to see me on the PD forum because I find it more interesting now however feel free to message me with any questions (as long as they don't break the site rules ofc)
 
Hello, fellow bluelighters.

I've had my first experience with MDMA (actually my first experience with drugs, not including alcohol) this february during Rio's carnaval, i was blown away by the experience and since then i have been lurking the site, i just decided to register and share my experience, just because.


Day before carnaval, me and my friends are drinking and just having a great time before we head out for a show, we are also waiting for another friend to arrive, he kinda of lost his flight earlier(this being the guy who hooked us up), anyway, he gets there, we keep on drinking till it's time to leave, then he says how awesome would be to roll some mdma tonight, he had something like 2-3 grams for 5 us, to be used during the 4 days of carnaval (yeah, now i know that this is actually a bad idea).

I'm somewhat drunk right now, we all are so we do it. He grabs some crystal-brownish thing and puts a little on our cups, taste horrible.

We get the cab and go to the party, the city is swarming with people. By the time we arrive all of my friends are already tripping balls, i'm not feeling anything really, it takes some time but eventually it hits me hard, feels like i'm floating, at first i'm a bit overwhelmed (wasn't really expecting this kind of high) so i lean to a wall, and just touching the wall felt incredibly good lol. Then right before we enter the venue we all hug together and talk some shit, and that felt even better.

We get into the place, and this is the first time i actually lost memory of what happened, ever, not even being extremely drunk made me lose consciouness. I remember only parts of the night, but the parts i do were awesome. At one point during the night (about 4ish AM i think) i went to the bathroom and started to drink water from the sink, after that quick recharge i went back to partying.

That was my first experience with MDMA, and despite not remembering the entire night, it was amazing. (Not sure if the memory loss was because it was too much of a high dose or because i did it with alcohol, if someone could give a imput on that i would appreciate it).


The next day we did a light dose during the day for the street block, didn't felt the anything, was sweating like hell and felt like passing out... got back to 100% after taking a swim in the ocean, it was better than sex, really.


That same night we went to see fatboy, we did the same thing as the night before, drank a lot... did mdma, etc. Again i was not feeling anything but sweating a lot, when the show was about to start (1-2 am) we redosed with the mdma we had left, we used a water bottle (the water instantly turned brown) and we all shared it.

I felt something, but it wasn't even 1/3 of the buzz i had the night before, still, this was also one of the best nights i had. Also i didn't get high to the point to lose memory, which was a plus.


------


Sorry for the extremely long post, just felt like sharing it. Thanks to bluelight I'm now aware that my usage of the substance was quite irresponsible, specially for a first time(redosing, drinking, etc). But despite the abuse i didn't felt any kind of comedown at all, i felt great throught out the entire week.

Haven't touched mdma since, saving it for that special moment.

cheers.
 
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Folley said:
I agree. It's long term abuse of MDMA that causes this to occur.





So the point of this thread is to say we should not say to space their rolls out? That I cannot agree to. Now I want to make it clear right now, I HAVE NEVER said one "heavy weekend" or even a few weekends in a row would lead to lasting depression

If you asked me if I thought taking 3 grams over a weekend would lead to that, I would say no.


But LONG TERM, constant abuse of the drug has been shown time and time again to lower 5-HT axon density and deregulate the serotonin system greatly. Like wise, there have been studies done showing that imbalances of serotonin are directly linked to mood disorders like depression, anxiety and in some severe cases derealization and depersonalization. Now, if you have naturally high levels of serotonin yeah you might be more resistant to this, but not immune. On the other hand however there are people like myself who had underlying disorders that the drug set off still need the kind of help that people like myself have been giving. Some people take Shulgin's advice word for word... I don't put all that much stock in it however.



I used to say the same things as a lot of you, I could roll weekly with no "problems". But for one those rolls sucked balls because serotonergic tolerance builds VERY fast and even the best MDMA pills all that was on my mind was getting back to that FIRST roll, and two it set me up for a neurological disaster. Abuse of MDMA is no easy thing, and the drug can be very forgiving but for some extremely heavy abusers like me it can be extremely harmful and dangerous drug.











Go ahead and roll... I won't stop you, I don't WANT to stop you. And if there is a GREAT DJ the next week you just can't miss? Go roll there too! Hell, and maybe you fuck up and roll the next day, it happens. Then take a long break to recover from the blow your serotonin system takes, and when you're feeling ready to roll again go ahead, but try and use the drug safely next time because if you make a habit of it it can be very detrimental to your mental health.

That is my message.

I just want people to understand that MDMA releases massive amounts of serotonin, and time IS needed to recover and repair the small amount of damage that is done after a single use.


I don't see how that message could cause such an uproar, so I assume this thread isn't about anything I said... I just decided to respond anyway ;)
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You know I have to say, out of ALL of your posts. This guys was the most stand-up and straight to the damn point on the whole subject of "Scaremongering", IF YOU ABUSE THIS DRUG AND DO IT FOREVER YOU WILL DIE. IF YOU DO NOT AND GO HAM EVERY COUPLE WEEKS YOU WILL NOT. Period. Now everybody listen to some DJ Tiesto. (:
 
Regulate your hydration, DO NOT TAKE SEROTONIN REPRODUCTIONS the next day, because in my opinion SYNTHETIC serotonin reproduction is not the way to go. Your body is made of normally self-produced chemicals and should only be added into when needed like a medical threat to your health.
 
I have had great experiences with mdma/ecstasy except with the last intake but the thing is we never tested what we took so it couldve been a random chemical hence it didn't hit us until we took more than we are accustomed to. I am the only one amongst the group who had this comedown and I think another contributing factor is that females tend to be more sensitive when it comes to serotonin issues etc.. I think I have read this somewhere.. Ill try to find it and post it on here... I wish I found bl earlier and if I did I wouldve rolled wisely and safely and definitely wouldve tested the product and I would probly still be rolling!
 
My first MDMA experience
My first experience with MDMA was literally the best day of my life. I'd always wanted to try ecatasy so at 20 I bought some pills from a friend for a music festival. I was sitting i the car with my boyfriend and mutual best friend, heard my Dad's voice in my head say "don't do this, you'll get hurt", told him to fuck off and dropped :p. I took a really low dose, 1 mild pill (a pink incredible in aus, posted on pill reports to be both mild and very clean), and as soon as it hit I knew it was the closest thing to pure happiness I will every experience. I ran around thinking it was like everything I'd ever dreamed life should be and cried the next day cuz it was over :P. As a result of such a good experience I really keep my MDMA experiences to the minimum (once every 3 months max usually) because I never want to lost the love of it. I think my boyfirend said it best when he said "MDMA is a drug you have to respect".
 
Been taking MDMA since NYE 2006. I was going to a dnb club with some mates, and a mate of a mate who I'd only just met offered to get us some pills. At the time I'd only smoked weed and done coke, but was well up for it. Took 2 Armani pills and had the time of my life, usually loving the music, chatting bollocks fun :D

Since then I've been taking them approx every 2-4 weeks with the odd longer break(and a huge break from about 2008-2011 when I just couldn't get clean md). Basically when there's a decent club night on or festival or whatever.

Never really noticed any bad effects at all, yes I feel shit the day after, but no more than if I've had a night drinking. I have noticed a diminishing of the effects, and I have to take more than when I first started (I usually have about 400mg of crystal to last me the night, or 3-4 pills depending on the strength of them).
 
first x experience

Let me preface this post with the sad fact that I heavily abused many many drugs in my life...

The first time I took mdma was 1999. I'm a person that can have a hard time letting go. The world is a fucked up place and life is cruel. I'm a comic, I constantly joke, but I do that so I don't scream. Sometimes I'm too too much in my own head.
so..my friends take me to a rave in Indy USa and I take 1 Mitsubishi roll and wow did life change.
I have always had a hard time letting go. The x gave a body buzz, vision like busted glass, and it eased something in me..
I LET GO completely of worries and fears and judgment. I found peace inside the thumping bass and treble at
an Indy radve.
I let go and I danced.. something I had been too self conscious to do before. Quickly I found I was talented once I was able to truly let go. I danced for hours. It was a revelation.
X got me to look at myself without prejudgment. A valuable tool that. changed my life. It freed me from overthinking and allowed me to view the world and myself at peace.
Ecstasy was about the only drug I never abused. 10 -15 uses total. Well spaced apart.
My experience was great... so great I didn't want it to be common so I us ed sparingly. I use it to connect to music and can not stomach conversations with those who are glossed out.
Good times but the happiness has a counterfeit nature to me. Great for relieving social anxiety or facing deep fears.
Also, great for fun. I had a reverence for it that informed me not to abuse.
 
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