Alprazolam8129
Bluelighter
It's been awhile since ive been on here aha, but im back for a little.
Anyways, i would like to know if you consider this addicted, falling down the wrong path or normal recreational use&
also want to know if what i'm doing&
what i've done is tearing my head apart on the inside and do you believe itll worsen, or maybe get less worse?
Yes, i know you guys arn't doctors, and no i'm not dick sizing about anthing just looking for some truthfull suggestions and answers.
*) I have a prescription for focalin for ADHD, hydroxyzine for Anxiety, and zolpidem for a case of major insomnia i began to get when i withdrawed from mdma/meth pills.
I kinda have this major obsession over pills. I mean in real life all the shit i do and had done stays on the DL; i don't like when people know i do other things then just smoke marijuana and drink alcohol, mostly girls and people that i don't know, but i need to stop getting side tracked.
This obsession over pills isn't like i need them to survive, it's just i always want a pill of something that will make me feel good and having these 2 prescriptions of dexmethylphenidate, and zolpidem crush that feeling to go away cause i always know when i wake up i have something i can pop, snort and lose reality to myself.
Althought i do like doing this and love ambien,
I also need this medication for what its prescribed to do and only getting 18 zolpidem and 30 Focalin a month is hard when you know there abuseable but need them for what there actually helping me with. Its like and impossible balancing act.
*) I was addicted to hydrocodone(vicodin), alprazolam(xanax), and MDMA/methbombs (ecstasy cut with methamphetamine pressed into pill form). People say i have a very addictive personality. Whenever i get a new drug i never just want to keep it, i wanna do it and since the feelings so good i keep doing it. Untill i run out of supply then if theres no way to get anymore of the supply. i can wake up the next morning and not even have a care for the drug that i was doing so much. It's just i love to be fucked up? Anyway back to the subject.
*) I love oxycodone, and whever i get paid alot of it goes to the oxy and weed to smoke with it of course aha but i always regret doing it
the next morning cause yeah, you have an amazing day and night ,but the next day ill be broke cause i spent it all on the oxy and weed.
I just don't know what it is?
Like without drugs im not sick, yeah sometimes i feel a lil achey but nothing really puts me into a withdraw anymore since about almost a year ago with the methbombs.
But i don't know what to do about this, i know i have the will power to stop so easily. Its just that i actually feel "me" on the drug and when i'm off it im not my real happy self.
I'm not the real me anymore& it bothers me because i used to be just like how i was on oxycodone
(happy, stress free, no pain, always pushing to my limit when i would work, very sociable, never shy, always that outgoing person)regularly.
And then once i started smoking weed, i started drinking alot, then pills, xtc, etc. And now it feels that im never myself without that drug..and i can honestly say..
I don't know what to do.
*) Sounds like alot right? Yes, it is especially for a 19 year old that works 3 jobs to support his habit and himself.
I've done a lot of drugs and when i say a lot i mean ALOT but in the long run nothing gets better, and everything seems to begin getting worse.
You start relizing what damage your doing and the damage that has already been done and a lot of the time people don't relize it untill its too late.
Thats why i came back to the site that always had such good infomation, members, and people that care about your safety, to begin on getting ideas on how to cut down, or stop my problems that i'm having.
And to inform every other man/women to not take the path i did and let drugs take control of your life. Just once in awhile when your doing whatever your doing just think/ask yourself.. am i getting out of hand? If you don't think so or are confused on so keep thinking about it and that'll be your answer.
If you know your not and you can control how much you do& when you do it; well crongrats bro cause thats pretty damn hard to do, unless your talking about marijuana.
And last if you know your getting out of hand find some help, from anybody. find someway to cut down because theres so many friends that were so close to me that died from drug overdose and that feeling is so unbareable that no one should have to feel it, ever.
And too all those kids that go through your parents bedrooms, other friends parents bedrooms, kitchens to find there stash or pills, before you do anything with whatever you find;
RESEARCH IT. Know what it is, what it will do to you, how will effect your body&brain and are those effects you really want to feel?.
A great site is talked about in this community all the time that has tons of correct information is:
Erowid.org - one and only place for all of your drug information.
It feels good to be back,
Alprazolam
Anyways, i would like to know if you consider this addicted, falling down the wrong path or normal recreational use&
also want to know if what i'm doing&
what i've done is tearing my head apart on the inside and do you believe itll worsen, or maybe get less worse?
Yes, i know you guys arn't doctors, and no i'm not dick sizing about anthing just looking for some truthfull suggestions and answers.
*) I have a prescription for focalin for ADHD, hydroxyzine for Anxiety, and zolpidem for a case of major insomnia i began to get when i withdrawed from mdma/meth pills.
I kinda have this major obsession over pills. I mean in real life all the shit i do and had done stays on the DL; i don't like when people know i do other things then just smoke marijuana and drink alcohol, mostly girls and people that i don't know, but i need to stop getting side tracked.
This obsession over pills isn't like i need them to survive, it's just i always want a pill of something that will make me feel good and having these 2 prescriptions of dexmethylphenidate, and zolpidem crush that feeling to go away cause i always know when i wake up i have something i can pop, snort and lose reality to myself.
Althought i do like doing this and love ambien,
I also need this medication for what its prescribed to do and only getting 18 zolpidem and 30 Focalin a month is hard when you know there abuseable but need them for what there actually helping me with. Its like and impossible balancing act.
*) I was addicted to hydrocodone(vicodin), alprazolam(xanax), and MDMA/methbombs (ecstasy cut with methamphetamine pressed into pill form). People say i have a very addictive personality. Whenever i get a new drug i never just want to keep it, i wanna do it and since the feelings so good i keep doing it. Untill i run out of supply then if theres no way to get anymore of the supply. i can wake up the next morning and not even have a care for the drug that i was doing so much. It's just i love to be fucked up? Anyway back to the subject.
*) I love oxycodone, and whever i get paid alot of it goes to the oxy and weed to smoke with it of course aha but i always regret doing it
the next morning cause yeah, you have an amazing day and night ,but the next day ill be broke cause i spent it all on the oxy and weed.
I just don't know what it is?
Like without drugs im not sick, yeah sometimes i feel a lil achey but nothing really puts me into a withdraw anymore since about almost a year ago with the methbombs.
But i don't know what to do about this, i know i have the will power to stop so easily. Its just that i actually feel "me" on the drug and when i'm off it im not my real happy self.
I'm not the real me anymore& it bothers me because i used to be just like how i was on oxycodone
(happy, stress free, no pain, always pushing to my limit when i would work, very sociable, never shy, always that outgoing person)regularly.
And then once i started smoking weed, i started drinking alot, then pills, xtc, etc. And now it feels that im never myself without that drug..and i can honestly say..
I don't know what to do.
*) Sounds like alot right? Yes, it is especially for a 19 year old that works 3 jobs to support his habit and himself.
I've done a lot of drugs and when i say a lot i mean ALOT but in the long run nothing gets better, and everything seems to begin getting worse.
You start relizing what damage your doing and the damage that has already been done and a lot of the time people don't relize it untill its too late.
Thats why i came back to the site that always had such good infomation, members, and people that care about your safety, to begin on getting ideas on how to cut down, or stop my problems that i'm having.
And to inform every other man/women to not take the path i did and let drugs take control of your life. Just once in awhile when your doing whatever your doing just think/ask yourself.. am i getting out of hand? If you don't think so or are confused on so keep thinking about it and that'll be your answer.
If you know your not and you can control how much you do& when you do it; well crongrats bro cause thats pretty damn hard to do, unless your talking about marijuana.
And last if you know your getting out of hand find some help, from anybody. find someway to cut down because theres so many friends that were so close to me that died from drug overdose and that feeling is so unbareable that no one should have to feel it, ever.
And too all those kids that go through your parents bedrooms, other friends parents bedrooms, kitchens to find there stash or pills, before you do anything with whatever you find;
RESEARCH IT. Know what it is, what it will do to you, how will effect your body&brain and are those effects you really want to feel?.
A great site is talked about in this community all the time that has tons of correct information is:
Erowid.org - one and only place for all of your drug information.
It feels good to be back,
Alprazolam
