Hi all Blers, ive been on these boards a while now, lurking since 2001, ive been a daily cannabis user for 10 years and as the tale goes about a year in even less, my lofe went down hill fast. I knew i was fucking my life back then but i kept telling myself one more week, all the bullshit surrounding everything turns out to be true in the end, thats one thing, if i can pass anything on to any young drug addict who reads this its that, all the bullshit is true were not that clever. Dont hate me because my tale is solely that of cannabis and not heroin or meth, i thank God i never touched those, id already be dead from suicide if i had.
Im from a good family with a younger brother who is not into drugs, and to them its been a sad frustating tale of devastation. Not all bad all the time but it must be difficult to bear somone who has had every opportunity in life, more so than most in the world, and dropping the ball every single time. I think its caused my parents to feel like failures to their friends who, probably as ousiders cant seem to fit the pieces to whats wrong with that kid.
It hasnt all been bad, what compelled me to write this was, i left work early because i was getting upset with myself, and getting home, a few cones and cigarettes led me to stare at the floor for a good 30 mins, and a thought popped in my head that as a whole my life has not been that bad compared to alot of people in the world but ive demoted and sold mself short if i take CANNABIS out of the equation of my life, everything that im upset about now would be correct. If cannabis, weed, drugs, media and drugs hadnt interested me so much when i was 14, and i continued with the same mentality i had before i was psychologically addicted to a drug, i could have been anyone but the up and down chain smoking waste of sperm i am today. Not saying that i still cant be all that i was going to be and wanted to be,its just now days i have to work 200 percent harder again to get back just to where i was before, im not slow or anything i just think about things more, its made things that should be easy more difficult and all those small things over 10 years have worn me down and led me to a bad spot.
Its a sickening frustrating process of internal self combustion that almost turns others off beciause they cant get through to you.
I dont advocate the ban of any drug. I advocate scientific reasearch into why young minds of people aged between 12 and 22 begin to take drugs in the first place as an accessory to their existamce.
I know why i used then, and now, cannabis as an excuse for hiding something you cant deal with. Initally it is benign fun then all the problems associated with using an illegal drug creep up and you coupled with all the bullshit from your childhood that you havent dealt with.
So to sum up, if you want to feel suicidal just as you wake up of a morning, and just before you drift off to sleep at night every night, have no friends (except the one from your childhood made before being a drug addict, who is concerned about you that now leads an awesome life overseas in a professional job with a great girlfriend) never have a girlfriend or any sexual history with anyone except prostitutes, no money, had it but lost it in the pursuit of happiness, work a shit job, are considered a nice, knowlegeble guy at times but with a dark side, then by all means ignore all the warning signs I could use a friend.
Im from a good family with a younger brother who is not into drugs, and to them its been a sad frustating tale of devastation. Not all bad all the time but it must be difficult to bear somone who has had every opportunity in life, more so than most in the world, and dropping the ball every single time. I think its caused my parents to feel like failures to their friends who, probably as ousiders cant seem to fit the pieces to whats wrong with that kid.
It hasnt all been bad, what compelled me to write this was, i left work early because i was getting upset with myself, and getting home, a few cones and cigarettes led me to stare at the floor for a good 30 mins, and a thought popped in my head that as a whole my life has not been that bad compared to alot of people in the world but ive demoted and sold mself short if i take CANNABIS out of the equation of my life, everything that im upset about now would be correct. If cannabis, weed, drugs, media and drugs hadnt interested me so much when i was 14, and i continued with the same mentality i had before i was psychologically addicted to a drug, i could have been anyone but the up and down chain smoking waste of sperm i am today. Not saying that i still cant be all that i was going to be and wanted to be,its just now days i have to work 200 percent harder again to get back just to where i was before, im not slow or anything i just think about things more, its made things that should be easy more difficult and all those small things over 10 years have worn me down and led me to a bad spot.
Its a sickening frustrating process of internal self combustion that almost turns others off beciause they cant get through to you.
I dont advocate the ban of any drug. I advocate scientific reasearch into why young minds of people aged between 12 and 22 begin to take drugs in the first place as an accessory to their existamce.
I know why i used then, and now, cannabis as an excuse for hiding something you cant deal with. Initally it is benign fun then all the problems associated with using an illegal drug creep up and you coupled with all the bullshit from your childhood that you havent dealt with.
So to sum up, if you want to feel suicidal just as you wake up of a morning, and just before you drift off to sleep at night every night, have no friends (except the one from your childhood made before being a drug addict, who is concerned about you that now leads an awesome life overseas in a professional job with a great girlfriend) never have a girlfriend or any sexual history with anyone except prostitutes, no money, had it but lost it in the pursuit of happiness, work a shit job, are considered a nice, knowlegeble guy at times but with a dark side, then by all means ignore all the warning signs I could use a friend.
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