i thought perhaps i should give some history on this, this is about my relationship with my ex, and what its causing me. i am an artist by nature, and i find i express myself most aptly through my artwork. i painted him this picture that i described, after we broke up, and it hangs on his wall to this day. ironically, he hung it upside down. (i guess thats abstract for you)for those of you who dont know, when you paint something with feeling, with pure emotion, the viewer senses it like a shot to the head, you get that feeling that something is up, that something had occured here, and this way my effort to show him how i felt, and to this day, im not quite sure.
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if i could write these thoughts to music
to help you understand
the painted colors in my mind
the quest for truth
my brutal honesty
the notes
high, low
would rotate endlessly
forming lights in your mind
bring those tears to your eyes
from so many memories
the kind of rhythm
...it gets to you
but i cant
all i can do,
is think
i talk to you, and say nothing
but ive layed it all on the line
and never do you notice
its painted on your wall...
two souls,
surrounded in colors,
the circumference of life
boundless, and spinning
the tears, the joy, and listlessness
and its all for you
hanging on your wall
do you see it?
can you feel what i put into it
sense the pain in every stroke...
sense the joy in every splash
its love.
and with this circle,
i breathe,
and hope for anew
i hope for you,
and your life,
and the tingling in my heart,
it withers away
and i release that one last color,
my one last attempt at you
i can only say it so many ways
and im running out, im running low
i can only create so much
expend so much
feel so much
before i die
along with the living love i have for you
i can only walk to think of you
i can only speak to dream of you
but my thoughts and dreams run thin
as my love for you grows permanent
and my god i tell you
ive never felt so helpless in my life...
so i stretch the hues in my pallete
i try and create that new color,
to catch your eyes
to draw them
to focus them
but its all i can do.....
------------------
::heaven holds a sense of wonder/and i wanted to believe/that id get caught up when the rage in me subsides::
_____________________________________________
if i could write these thoughts to music
to help you understand
the painted colors in my mind
the quest for truth
my brutal honesty
the notes
high, low
would rotate endlessly
forming lights in your mind
bring those tears to your eyes
from so many memories
the kind of rhythm
...it gets to you
but i cant
all i can do,
is think
i talk to you, and say nothing
but ive layed it all on the line
and never do you notice
its painted on your wall...
two souls,
surrounded in colors,
the circumference of life
boundless, and spinning
the tears, the joy, and listlessness
and its all for you
hanging on your wall
do you see it?
can you feel what i put into it
sense the pain in every stroke...
sense the joy in every splash
its love.
and with this circle,
i breathe,
and hope for anew
i hope for you,
and your life,
and the tingling in my heart,
it withers away
and i release that one last color,
my one last attempt at you
i can only say it so many ways
and im running out, im running low
i can only create so much
expend so much
feel so much
before i die
along with the living love i have for you
i can only walk to think of you
i can only speak to dream of you
but my thoughts and dreams run thin
as my love for you grows permanent
and my god i tell you
ive never felt so helpless in my life...
so i stretch the hues in my pallete
i try and create that new color,
to catch your eyes
to draw them
to focus them
but its all i can do.....
------------------
::heaven holds a sense of wonder/and i wanted to believe/that id get caught up when the rage in me subsides::
