in what was literally a split second of clarity i had the time to ask myself what am i really afraid of? to my surprise i answered back youre afraid of yourself because your not sure of yourself and dont know how to cope with reality. i pretend to be so smart but cant master myself. i dull down my accomplishments with exaggerated failure bucause when it comes down to it i dont know how to live just survive. im afraid if i were to climb out of this hole it would just hurt that much more when i fall again. i am prisoner to myself.
