So as I'm trying to distract myself from withdrawal and all the terrible things it brings, I figured I'd post my "Edible Cannabis Incident of 2013". It was crazy. Here's what happened...
About an hour after ingestion, I had anxiety come on with no warning. I sat next to my cousin and he tried to calm me down but I started crying and I was like clinging to his arm. I felt like I was in a constant repetitive time loop and I feared I'd be like that forever. The only thing that was semi helping was watching the TV, because a show moves in time, and texting because I could see the time stamps. I curled up and felt my hands burning my face. I thought I died and went to hell. I thought my basement was hell. This is when I really started to lose it. I couldn't talk. I tried but I couldn't. I walked upstairs to my room and laid on my bed. Then I had to pee. But my mind was still downstairs with Tim and I thought I was going to urinate myself. I didn't know where I was. Finally I went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had huge pupils and bags under my eyes. I went to go lay back down on my bed with a cat. Then I had INTENSE visuals! From weed! I saw a 8 year old me (age I was when I was sexually abused) show me my birth, how I'm fucking up the present, and then I saw myself being resuscitated by medics & then they couldn't do it so I died, and I "saw" my "spirit" floating above my body. I started petting my cat then I snapped out if it and thought "ok this Is reality. You're alive and in bed. You're okay. You're safe" Then I texted my mom and drifted to sleep.
I don't understand myself.
About an hour after ingestion, I had anxiety come on with no warning. I sat next to my cousin and he tried to calm me down but I started crying and I was like clinging to his arm. I felt like I was in a constant repetitive time loop and I feared I'd be like that forever. The only thing that was semi helping was watching the TV, because a show moves in time, and texting because I could see the time stamps. I curled up and felt my hands burning my face. I thought I died and went to hell. I thought my basement was hell. This is when I really started to lose it. I couldn't talk. I tried but I couldn't. I walked upstairs to my room and laid on my bed. Then I had to pee. But my mind was still downstairs with Tim and I thought I was going to urinate myself. I didn't know where I was. Finally I went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had huge pupils and bags under my eyes. I went to go lay back down on my bed with a cat. Then I had INTENSE visuals! From weed! I saw a 8 year old me (age I was when I was sexually abused) show me my birth, how I'm fucking up the present, and then I saw myself being resuscitated by medics & then they couldn't do it so I died, and I "saw" my "spirit" floating above my body. I started petting my cat then I snapped out if it and thought "ok this Is reality. You're alive and in bed. You're okay. You're safe" Then I texted my mom and drifted to sleep.
I don't understand myself.