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My boyfriend is addicted to heroin

K

Kiaissis

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 12, 2015
Messages
2
My boyfriend is a heroin addict. We have been together for 5 years and have a baby together. He has been using heroin for the past 3 years and started using needles to get his fix 2 years ago. Ive had to watch him destroy his health and mind, he used to be so intelligent, strong and I would've told anyone that he is the most amazing person I've ever met and could accomplish anything. Now I don't know what I would say to describe him.. He walks around pulling a cart full of junk, is constantly walking around neighborhoods 24/7 breaking into peoples property stealing tools and whatever else so he can get high. He seems to be going through psychosis alot of the time and that there is no reality left in him. I found him one day cleaning up a bike path.. He was picking up cigerett butts and cleaning rocks off the side walk, it hurts me so bad when I see him doing things like this. He takes my things all the time to sell for heroin and I now have barely anything to my name. I told him he can't stay at my house months ago but I still find him sleeping outside my door curled up. I'm usually a really soft spoken and patient person but after going through this this long it is causing me to break down and go through depression. I'm not used to being without him. He is my best friend and he means everything to me but it seems like because of his addiction we has almost become enemies. I've had to apply for welfare to help pay the bills to keep a roof over our sons head and food. He has not put $1 towards anything for his son and I to survive. He told me that he spend at least $300 a day on heroin and even shows up counting his money in front of me before he goes to spend it on heroin. I don't know what to do anymore... I love him so much.. So much that even after everything he has done to hurt me, I've still been true to him, waiting for him to get better. I don't go out partying or doing things that would make him question my loyalty. I don't think that many girls my age would be waiting this long and and would not have moved on after all this disrespect and heartache but here I am being a good girl friend, taking care if my Responsibilities and worrying on how I can help him. When I see him I feel so happy to see his face because I miss him but at the same time I feel resentment and like giving up. I can't sleep at night because i m worried that he is overdosing somewhere, that he is cold or hungry and every siren I hear go by, I can't help but think its for him.. Whether it's the police or ambulance. And when I do sleep I have nightmares that he is overdosed outside my door so I end up waking up 2-3 times a night to look outside. I'm hurting so bad, I have nobody in this big city except for our baby. I've tried to go to NA meetings so that I can get some advice but I feel so out of place and uncomfortable. What do I do?? Tuff love is not working like they say it would... I've seen him at his worst where he is filthy, smelly ,starving, tired, sleeping in walkways and on the sidewalk and totally out of his mind to the point he doesn't even want to live anymore but he still keeps up with the drugs. It seems that his only way out of this is death. And if it comes to that it will ruin soul. I can't take this anymore
 
I'm sorry u have to go thru this..without him wanting to quit there is nothing u can do beside take care of your son..he sounds like he only lives for the needle so it's only a matter of time before he pushes it to far and doesn't wake up..using 300 a day for dope is an extreme case..he doesn't care about you or living for that matter,he is totally consumed in his love affair with heroin..he is not the Man U fell in love with and u need to Try and break the emotional attachment because it's gut wrenching loving a junkie, all u do is worry

Stealing people's stuff is a shitty thing to do and he will get caught eventually..hel be so sick he won't think straight and make a mistake..jail could actually help imo because he would be forced to cold turkey but obviously having charges is never a good thing

best of luck to u..stay strong
 
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He came to me yesterday and asked me to give him one last chance and help him get clean. He has done this once before but it did not end well. I told him that their are rules to abide by such as no drug use, no taking off without the company of myself, no staying up all night in my home making noise and eating all my groceries and not to make any Messes. Just like the last time he asked for my help he was in and out of the door all night smoking, cooked 3 seperate times leaving a huge mess everywhere. Started making coffee at 2:00am, spilling it everywhere and during all this my baby can't sleep because of the noise and was up till 4:00am. I couldn't hold it in by 4:00am and got really mad and told him I don't think I can handle the stress off getting him clean on my own. He seemed like he really wanted to get clean when he asked for help but by the time morning came he was a complete jerk. I think I have already started letting go.. I just have to push the feeling of love I have for him to the side as well. Not only does he deserve a better life than this but so does my son and myself as well. I've emotionally became someone I do not recognize anymore and I want to be happy and content with myself again
 
I think that you should give him the choice go to rehab and go back to being the man I love or get out and be the monster you after that maybe he may realize the love you had love that deep is rare so he may just realize I wish you luck and hope you get through this

-Streetcow
 
In this state he doesnt really care for you. Do not listen to the words he speaks look at his actions. He doesnt. You need to put you and your kid first. No question here. You are destroying your life for yourself and your child. THis cycle will continue unless you stop it. Tell him rehab and two months clean before he can speak to you again. If you have any way to force him into an inpatient do it. Is there any way? His family, friend, anyone?
Though I find it kind of worrisome how you say only other way out you think is death. Do you honestly believe he would do it ? Is he suicidal? I do not have a very good opinion about law enforcement but if need be, i would even get him arrested in order to get him cleaned up. Sometimes its the only way.
 
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When he says he wants to get clean he really means that he wants to want to get clean..his brain is rewired to only get pleasure from heroin..u cant break that chemistry by wanting, u have to stop using so the brain can get back to normal..until he starts showing u hes getting clean thru actions and not words i would not let him in the house and if he gets violent because of it call the police and get a restraining order.

He is a different person, the trust u had in the past is gone he will use u up till theres nothing left
 
Your story sounds exactly like my story was, only without a child involved. I was 1 1/2 years sober from alcohol, happy, joyous and free. I met "my soulmate" and, for 7 months, it was heaven on earth! Then his friend that he used to use with got out of jail and he relapsed. I turned into a bitter, angry, screaming, hateful, resentful, woman. He broke up with me a hundred times on fb, for all my friends, family, and grown children to see, only for me to take him back over and over because he begged me to not abandon him and to help him get clean. Fast forward 4 years, he gets arrested, is in the jail where I volunteer and asked me if he should do his time or go to rehab. I tell him rehab, he says he's going to work on my lack of trust in him. He rebuilt my trust by blocking me on fb, dating my best friend secretly, getting her hooked on heroin, she died of an overdose. I found out, along with all our friends, that they were dating at her funeral. That is life with a lying, cheating, thief heroin addict.

I know how hard it is to try and stop loving someone, even when everything they do any sane person would beat the crap out of rather than love them. Two years after the end of my relationship I still miss him. I also almost lost my mind when I was with him and was going to commit suicide from the insanity of it all. Nothing is going to change with him, no matter what he tells you. If he really loves you, tell him to enter a treatment facility and get clean and, until he does that, he can't see you or his son. You both deserve better than living on welfare in a strange city with someone who doesn't take care of you.

I can't tell you what to do, but I have lived your life and I know how much misery there is before it ends. You do deserve better. It's like your taking a band-aid off slowly. Tear it off and get the misery over with quicker. Good luck to you.
 
Believe him when he says he wants to change, because he probably actually does. He still does love you but his brain last literally been rewired, and getting it back to a "normal" state will be hard and near impossible. There truly is not many things you can do. This probably sounds cheesy but psychedelic therapy actually works, if given a dose of LSD or DMT he may see the error of his ways and actually change. Psychedelics have completely cured my anxiety and depression, it helped limit my drug use and made me a better person I feel. It puts reality into a new perspective, maybe this is something you may want to consider. If he's down for shooting up H I'm sure he's game for acid.
 
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