My BL Therapy

I originally started journals/blogs to document my feeling and experiences in order to reflect on them.

I have been holding back from writing ALL the cravings, feelings and events. I was leading that double-life that many of us end up trying to pull off when in a relationship. My girl knows about BL and said she liked reading my journals/blogs. I told her how to access my journals so that she would know about my IV coke habit that had torn my life into unrecognizable shreds.

I relapsed so I was unable to be specific and open on BL. I had to maintain those two lives, the addict and the boyfriend.

Well, my girl found out about my lying and using and left me.

I can now write somewhat freely to unburden myself. The one fear I have is that 'M' will read how bad my usage has gotten and tell my family out of concern. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. My mom doesn't need more things to worry about concerning me.

I'm going to take the chance and write openly again. Hell, the plan is to get into rehab anyway so fuck it.

 

Both my psychologist and my psychiatrist told me this week that I need to write more about how I'm feeling/keep a journal. I found it amusing that they were telling me this lol.