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My Birthday Today

fivelinefury

fivelinefury

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2006
Messages
1,171
Location
Melbourne, AUSTRALIA
Well now that it is past midnight AEDST, i guess it is now my 27th birthday, and yes i'm still ere haha.

I dunno, just wondering if anyone else feels the same about themselves on such occasions, and possibly why do I?

I hate my birthday being brought up, hate being recognised, and basically feel I don't deserve to have a birthday like everyone else around me does. Like usual in the past tonight i've just been gambling away money, drinking for hours, did a load of CWE 360mg codeine, and taking a dose of diazepam between 10mg and 40mg every, I dunno 30mins or so. I know this part is stupid and people may critisise me for beiing self destructive, but thats what I've alwaus felt the need to do.

Thanks guys and gals for listening
 
Maybe talking to someone would help? Seems like you're looking for advise and maybe even assurance. I can't really offer any because I haven't really felt like that on my bday. But my 23rd bday I was stuck in the hospital and was NPO.. My friends surprised me and came in with a big ass sheet cake. I felt like shit because I couldn't eat it, I was already miserable and the last thing I wanted to see we're my friends. So I kinda knowwhat you mean wanting to be alone.

Tho my mom hated her birthdays and always said I'm turning 27! Every year! Some people get sad with old age.

But anyway. I think it would help talking to someone. I'm not talking about def going to a psychiatrist.. Maybe even just telling a friend or family member would help relieve the stress? Take some weight off.

Good luck, and happy birthday!! :)
 
I personally dont like being recognozed because I was born. Like flooding my facebook wall wont make me feel better, I just enjoy being around people who sincerely care to have me in their lives. Dont worry though, getting old isnt so bad :) Theres still much that you have to experience ahead of you =D
 
First things first: <3 Happy birthday to one of my favorite TDS posters! <3:)<3

Saying Happy Birthday is my way of wishing you a good year, not just a hyped up day. And by "good" I mean meaningful and full of surprises and interesting and engaging. I don't necessarily mean "happy". That is only one thing among many that I wish for you. More than anything I wish for you the knowledge that your life is worth something. I know that you are having trouble with that right now---seeing that, believing that---but it is true.

At 58, I feel compelled to say something about age. Like everything else it comes with gifts. I can't say as I'm thrilled with the physical process :\, but the perspective I have now is so much richer than I had at 27. Every single year has come bearing unexpected gifts. Even in the midst of unbearable loss, this is still true. I hope that the gifts this year brings you are lovely; you deserve that.<3
 
^ Well said as always Herbavore. :)

BirthdayWishes.jpg
 
Happy birthday! :D <3

I am 27 too. I understand how you feel, it can seem like a difficult age, transition between early twenties with no responsibility (and not much sense hehe) and actually being a proper grown up. Most birthdays have felt like that to me though, that I am somehow moving forward in life too fast and I can't catch up with where I should be or something.. they certainly don't fill me with joy like they used to anyway. There is a lot of pressure to have an awesome time celebrating your birthday as well but that's just the way society is - doesn't mean you have to follow.. I tend to get really stressed out if I try to do something big and spend the whole time worrying about whether other people are enjoying it or not.

Maybe give yourself a treat on another day soon? So the "birthday-pressure" isn't there, but you are still doing something nice for yourself - you really do deserve it <3
 
Happy Birthday Fivelinefury... May it be as good as it could be.. I recently turned 25.. feeling old too.. :S

Take care..
 
Happy birthday fivelinefury!! <3

I hope you're having a good day today, despite not feeling so positive about it last night. I'm 27 too (well, 27 and a half now), and I too don't really care much about my birthday these days. I used to get excited but since my 25th birthday I've just really not cared about celebrating another year of my life passing by. So yep, I know the feeling.

Regardless, flf, there are a lot of people right here in TDS who care about you and want you to be happy. Take care of yourself brother <3
 
I'm getting better about having my birthday acknowledged, but I'm not great about it. For me, it's more a matter of not liking to be the centre of attention, along with a fading (but still present) idea that birthdays are morbid. Let's celebrate being one year closer to one's natural death! Woo!

I realize, as I age, that birthdays have nothing to do with age, but rather are a chance to celebrate and honour the person, and for their loved ones to show that they are glad that they were born. So, in that vein, I wish to you a peaceful birthday, and a serene year ahead of you. You're a kind, thoughtful person, and I for one am glad to know you; even in the limited, pseudo-anonymous context of a messageboard.

Now go eat some cake!
 
Hahaha, awesome. you rock OP. Thank you and a happy belated bday to you too!!!! I'm only 24, so who knows what awesome goodies are in store for me by the time I reach the ripe ole' age of 27... oh yea, and what a role model you are OP :p ;) :)
 
Yup!


FLF,

Happy belated birthday pet! ;) Don't care whether you want it or not YOU FUCKIN DESERVE IT- a congratulations -
I love your posts on here, you're honest about your struggles and I admire the shit out of you for that. You're not alone in your insecurtiy mate and dealing with all the questionable, societal conventions, but we all have ego's- they are a good thing(in a way) and fortunately for those of us who have fractured one's we can build on them; they usually make sense to us - as we are taught only... but rather than being stifled and imposed on by conventional bullshit and superficial conditionings (that are accepted without understanding) I rekon you're in a position where you can start afresh in figuring out your place in society(albeit you have been stuck in an addiction, but more the reason to get free and fuckin be yourself, get out of the rut you have kept and felt stuck in) .

Wishing you the best in your life FLF-whatever that is...
;) <3
 
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