My battle with opiates and addiction.

[AFriendOfGoose]

although this is my first post, im not new to bluelight, ive discovered a lot of useful information on bluelight.
the purpose of this thread is to share my experience. Maybe help someone in the process
im currently 30h sober from my last run with opiates. i have relapsed after 7 months of complete sobriety. which is the longest by far for the in the last 5 years. I want to be sober and dependent on no substance for anything! chemical dependency is a battle i no longer want to fight. With a good support group. a Fresh geographical change, a strict routine, it was easy,\ to stay sober. in fact those were my best ever 7 months, i made True friends, with people in recovery that were serious as i was staying sober. And then i was forced back to my home town due to probation. Back in the shit hole where it all began, stuck. I relapsed within days of coming back home. now nearly two months later here i am, it took off right where i left off. Luckily, knowing the cycle, i caught myself before it got as bad as before. Using about .2g daily, which i know isnt much. but its enough give me some acute withdrawals. i went 50H+ and used about .1g. those 50h were too much to bare and try to function normally. The lack of energy, depression, anxiety, sweating, freezing, diarrhea, and the worse rls and insomnia were the symptoms i experienced. i now am 30 or so hours off the last dose and Im experiencing some anxiety, depression, and boredom. all psychological symptoms. Bare-able. i Plan on reporting back to share how the next few days go.
I want to ask that if anyone has experience anything similar to share.
Maybe share some encouragement.
Thanks bluelight.
Much LOVE

 

[Fatjosh]

a lot of us have been there OP, we will always be addicts it is part of who we are for life and a battle we will face for as long as we live. there is a yin yang to that statement because our battle can never truely be won as being an addict doesnt go away and we are more likely to become dependent on anything not just our DOC, the flip side of this coin is that the battle is never lost as long as we are still breathing. i am currently 10 days clean from a one night relapse from which i had been two weeks cleen from an 8 month relapse from a year clean from my initial four year addiction to opiate. my path to sobriety has not been an easy one and i am by no means out of the water, but i will continue to fight to free myself from opiates and i believe you will too just by your statements " in fact those were my best ever 7 months, i made True friends, with people in recovery that were serious as i was staying sober." this is what you need to focus on. you CAN do this op! grab some immodium and nyquil and tough it out, the hole you have dug is only at your big toe right now but trust me opiates dig fast and you will be up to your elbows in no time. i wish you all the best

 

[AFriendOfGoose]

Thanks for the reply. I'm on day three today. And wow I already feel like myself. I got a few hours of sleep last night with some bedtime tea and some melatonin. (Which I recommend to anyone who is struggling with insomnia.) Although i had using dreams. It was much needed rest. It's just so frustrating how easily it is to forget the pain this disease has caused me. For me. I find it important to stay busy! Boredom kills. And is why I would use to begin with. Second. Drop your old using acquaintances and find some new friends. Goto a aa/na meeting. Support and accountability is huge! Especially if your a in closet addict like I am. Rediscover old hobbies! Nothing more rewarding then rediscovering a talent. If anyone is reading this is going through or battling anykind of addiction. Three words for you. YOU'RE WORTH IT!

 

[herbavore]

Congratulations on day 3, OP! In the thick of it, it is often hard to remember that you are worth it but you are so right. Stay strong and keep posting.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Three words for you. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

That's four words dude.

No matter, keep on pushing through with your struggle, good to hear that you've got such strength of conviction! What old hobbies are you rediscovering? Bikes and food for me, and when my body is fixed it will be fighting too (bjj, kickboxing, might just jump straight to MMA). Struggling to get the clories down me atm though which sucks.