My Battle Begins on Thursday at 9:00am

[ferrita]

I too am a chronic pain patient. I have blown out L3 L4 L5 S1/ Bilateral sciatica. Degenerative Disk Disease to the point of losing alost 3 full inches in height. I have had both knees replaced. And I have fibromyalgia as well as three types arthritis.

I have a love hate relationship with opiates. I love them. they help me. I hate them. I am addicted. I also know the difference between addiction and dependence. Ive been on fentenyl patches (almost killed me due to faulty patch) demerol, diluadids.,massive amounts of morphine and am now on Oxy, norcos, baclofen, and neurtontin. I have come to HATE meds. I remember back in the day when They were FUN.

I got so pissed a few weeks ago that I flushed them down the toilet....lol. And it was the same week I had to move due to eviction. Guess what I survived it. I am in pain. But the pain is different. The pain meds send signals telling you are in pain constantly. Ive been on opiates for 14 years straight. It blows. Now three weeks later, I am moving better. Still in pain, but moving better. I forced myself to walk a mile. It was slow. Thought I was gonna have to call 911 halfway through it, but I did it.

I see my pain dr tomorrow. Hes gonna blow a fuse. BUT, I am gonna go for the surgery. They tell me 50/50 it will get better, stay the same or get worse. I am willing to chance it. Thing is, people see me now and everyone is like wow! you look great! I am thinking wow, I feel like hell. I am past all the physical wds just not the mental ones and I have meds here. I just refuse to take them.

In the past year Ive lost my home of 15 years, moved into apartment, was brutally attacked with baseball bat, someone was after my meds. Had them all stolen twice. Died and was unresponsive twice and on a ventilator twice. Was told I wold never get off oxygen, I am. my O2s are 99. so someone up there is looking after me. I relaize I may have to go back on some meds with surgery, but I am going to try my best to not take them unless absolutely necessary. Went to jail for 10 days of which I had to quit cold turkey on the concrete in a county jail. Bullshit charges to say the least. 14 years of opiates daily and was forced into cold turkey..........fuckkkkkkkkkkkk that! Came home doubled up on meds to get ahead of the pain and then decided fuckkkkk that too. so here I am in pain, but clean. my head is clear. I think everything happens for a reason. Will probably end up on them again, but I am gonna try everything I can think of. first. Right now Ibuprofen is my best friend. So to the OP. you may be able to do this. I don't know. But I am a long time opiophile and I am doing it. I also have a disease that there is no known casue or cure for and have had over 30 surgeries. That set me off on the opiates. I had been clean from heroin for 7 years out of a five year habit when that happened. And I did it without detox, rehab etc. I did it the old fashioned way. I still crave it and its been years.................Id be hard pressed to say no, but I have said no. Good luck to all trying to get clean. Like I said, I will probably have to go back on pain management after surgery but am determined not to live the rest of my life this way.

Well once you HAVE to take them to live. You learn to hate them plenty. I am also ex junkie

 

[MAJ.Pain]

i don't plan on being the asshole.. it just ends up that way.

sounds like you were taking too much meds, and they made you all groggy and shit.. and all sorts of the high dose side effects..

much love brotha.. sorry to hear about the addiction. Good Luck with the life of pain, of of US are with you everyday, you know that.

for the OP , we are always with you! ,

felt like i had to clear up the fact that i care, but still feel what i said earlier, stands. good luck

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Bojangles69:

"Iboga" or "Ibogaine"? You do realize iboga is nothing like ibogaine, or at least the iboga you can get online? You do not get the same alkaloids at all, in fact you get more alkaloids that are dangerous for your heart.

I'm also not a fan of ibogaine because it has some pretty serious sideeffects. Ataxia which can basically take away your ability to walk or standup. It also will raise your blood pressure more than significantly and place a ton of stress on your heart. I've seen people take iboga and shake like they were having a seizure for hours and hours on end. Its a very unresearched/new drug and untill some proper studies are done on it I wouldn't really recommend it unless you're read to commit suicide because of your addiction.

Ibogaine also has 12 documented fatalities, and has been banned/prohibited in many countries due to this. It DOES show some promise in terms of the stories I've read about its effectiveness, but it just seems too risky unless you've exhausted ALL your other resources, which the OP hasn't done yet. I hope one day scientists will make a more effective analog with less sideeffects, but as of now its ridiculously expensive to make, and not safe by any means.

thanks buddy, i have not heard that before you raised it..