im still sober.
I remember back in the day when I was attending meetings (back in 04) and rehab then, people would always say they've been sober for X amount of days.. and I thought to myself, "why do these guys keep track.. who cares". well, guess what? I've been sober/off opiates for 25 days now. this is the longest i've went in a long, long time. sure, I am on Subox.. but it's helping a TON and killing any/all urges. I have def. had it hit the mind a few times over the last 3 weeks, but was able to get it out of the mind quick!
One morning I ran out of Subox (the night before) and the pharmacy told me 3 more hours till I can pick up. Right away I thought.. maybe I should pick up some other "junk", just in case. even with me knowing I'd be complete find since I took 8MG Subox 12 hours prior. It's just how that sick, addicted mind works. I will able to drop it within 5 minutes after thinking of all the shit it would cause, the price, the whole situation.. just was a turn off. plus, I am in an outpatient program which is working great and the last thing I want to do is make my doc think twice of me.. and also, not just of for him, but myself the most.. its NOT what I NEED or WANT, anymore/ever again.
Have I used any drug in the last 25 days!? yes, I have. I've taken a Xanax early on to help sleep/anxiety. That was day 1 or 2 in the hospital since it's an OD which brought me to that hospital and put me in that detox/rehab for 5 days. I've also smoked weed multiple times, which I know a "drug is a drug is a drug" but hey.. whatever. It helps me chill the F out and again, sleep at night since the Xanax is now OUT OF MY LIFE as well. My doc./program dont love the idea I am smoking and I am open about it, but who knows.. just works and eases my mind before bed, rather than it racing and think of the mistakes of the past. I'll get over it all eventually but hell, it's only been a month.
OK.. I'm done w/ my 4th blog. and it's ANOTHER SOBER ONE! as long as they keep coming SOBER from those opiates/dope, then I am more than happy.
I remember back in the day when I was attending meetings (back in 04) and rehab then, people would always say they've been sober for X amount of days.. and I thought to myself, "why do these guys keep track.. who cares". well, guess what? I've been sober/off opiates for 25 days now. this is the longest i've went in a long, long time. sure, I am on Subox.. but it's helping a TON and killing any/all urges. I have def. had it hit the mind a few times over the last 3 weeks, but was able to get it out of the mind quick!
One morning I ran out of Subox (the night before) and the pharmacy told me 3 more hours till I can pick up. Right away I thought.. maybe I should pick up some other "junk", just in case. even with me knowing I'd be complete find since I took 8MG Subox 12 hours prior. It's just how that sick, addicted mind works. I will able to drop it within 5 minutes after thinking of all the shit it would cause, the price, the whole situation.. just was a turn off. plus, I am in an outpatient program which is working great and the last thing I want to do is make my doc think twice of me.. and also, not just of for him, but myself the most.. its NOT what I NEED or WANT, anymore/ever again.
Have I used any drug in the last 25 days!? yes, I have. I've taken a Xanax early on to help sleep/anxiety. That was day 1 or 2 in the hospital since it's an OD which brought me to that hospital and put me in that detox/rehab for 5 days. I've also smoked weed multiple times, which I know a "drug is a drug is a drug" but hey.. whatever. It helps me chill the F out and again, sleep at night since the Xanax is now OUT OF MY LIFE as well. My doc./program dont love the idea I am smoking and I am open about it, but who knows.. just works and eases my mind before bed, rather than it racing and think of the mistakes of the past. I'll get over it all eventually but hell, it's only been a month.
OK.. I'm done w/ my 4th blog. and it's ANOTHER SOBER ONE! as long as they keep coming SOBER from those opiates/dope, then I am more than happy.
