1st candyflip - Fear vs. love
I think that the reason I started doing psychedelics; is because my soul knew that psychedelics were probably my only chance to get my mind fixed and save myself from wasting my life.
I was pretty lost for a long time in this world, i couldn't fit into society and blamed that on myself. Ever since my first trip on magic mushrooms, my philosophy was to trip as much as possible for the rest of my life.
When I was tripping on acid or mushrooms, I always felt home again. Away from the madness into a different kind (but more enjoyable) kind of madness.
A year ago I quit smoking cannabis and started to trip a lot less often because i realized that escapism is not the best reason to use drugs.
I noticed around me all different kinds of people using different kinds of drugs just to feel good or to have fun; and thought to myself there must be another way.
Slowing down psychedelic use and quitting cannabis was one of the best decisions I have ever done in mylife because sober reality is state we live in the most, and this gave me the perfect chance to get to know myself sober.
In getting to know myself I also started to know other people better, and I noticed that the need for escapism is a serious problem in not only myself but everyone in western society.
Even those people who do not use drugs seem to have the same problem, they watch television and play games and do things constantly just so they would not be bored.
Looks like nowadays everyone is running away from theirself, so they must be constantly distracted from reality.
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I have recently done my firstcandyflip and would like to say a few things about it.
I know that drugs can make you feel good, but when the high is over you're back in sober reality. So the purpose of this trip was to learn in everyway possible and bring back as much as possible in ordinary consciousness.
I don't know if I will ever trip again, but if I do it again it will most likely be a candyflip in similar doses.
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It was a nice evening in spring and the sun was coming down, when I decided I would go into nature and do some candyflipping.
I took a small dose of blotter-lsd (between 80-100µg) and 2 hours later i did a small dose of mdma (between 80 and 110 mg). The first two hours of the trip weren't that enjoyable because the effects of the LSD were not really that good and it was also kind of cold outside(8°C).. and the long grass I was sitting in made my pants wet. Luckily I had some really good music with me.. I had Psychedelic trance, Psychedelic ambient, Shpongle, Bob marley..
So as I mentioned the trip wasn't anything special and was feeling a bit lonely, but when the MDMA started working I found myself in a state which I think is sort of like the enlightenment that buddhists seek.
I was able to look brutally honest at all the problems inside and outside of me. And as the trip moved on it got pretty spiritual. Sometimes i became a little lonely and the effect of the drugs sort of disappeared, and what I did was I went and hugged a tree and i felt like this beautiful exchange of energy between me and the tree.
I felt 1 with the earth, all plants/trees and people as if we were one spiritual being that is always connected and constantly evolving/changing into something else.
The positive thing about dosing low was that, I was able to be very high and very sober at the same time which probably makes it a lot easier to integrate the psychedelic experience into "ordinary consciousness".
Another positive thing was that I decided to trip alone because that makes it way more personal. If you trip with someone else, you distract eachother and can't go as deep as when you are on your own. (that is the case with me at least)
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So to get back to the part before I talked about my candyflip...
in my opinion, I think that the reason why other people are constantly in need of something to entertain themself is because they have a lack of truth.
And one way to describe truth is love. Love in the sense of, not running away from reality (fear) but just embracing it totally. We think that by running away from reality we will somehow make it better for ourself, but actually the exact opposite is true.
There is nothing more satisfying than being in the moment, particularly when something bad happens because then it is most needed. Because if you accept the moment when things get really shitty, where is the problem?
The trick is you need to realize that thoughts or emotions are not our ultimate reality, so instead of trying to hold on to positive thoughts or emotions (=running away from the bad) you just need to let it all pas through you and leave all fears and doubt behind.
The only reason that we are not living in paradise is because of this 1 simple subtle mistake we all make every day, that is taking the reality of our thoughts and emotions for granted.
Instead of holding on or running away from thoughts or emotions, we just have to let it all pas through us and then we see that they are not true. Emotions are cool even those that make us feel bad because they are not true.
The proof they are not true is that they dissapear as soon as you stop putting energy in to them.
The reason why ecstasy (for example) is so *magical* is because it throws us into a state of consciousness which is a lot like what I have just described. There is no fear, only love.
So when a beloved friend dies or somebody started a nuclear war when you are high on ecstasy, there's not a problem because you don't try to run away from the truth you just let it go through you and make peace with it.
The same rules apply to the sober mindstate.
There is always the choice between fear and love, but when ecstasy is not working you must consciously choose for it... it doesn't happen automatically.
But the choice is always there. And if you want you can create a paradise for yourself, all you need to do is find that place inside you which is truer than thoughts and emotions and which is pure and innocent.
And then trust it and allow it to heal you
Peace
I think that the reason I started doing psychedelics; is because my soul knew that psychedelics were probably my only chance to get my mind fixed and save myself from wasting my life.
I was pretty lost for a long time in this world, i couldn't fit into society and blamed that on myself. Ever since my first trip on magic mushrooms, my philosophy was to trip as much as possible for the rest of my life.
When I was tripping on acid or mushrooms, I always felt home again. Away from the madness into a different kind (but more enjoyable) kind of madness.
A year ago I quit smoking cannabis and started to trip a lot less often because i realized that escapism is not the best reason to use drugs.
I noticed around me all different kinds of people using different kinds of drugs just to feel good or to have fun; and thought to myself there must be another way.
Slowing down psychedelic use and quitting cannabis was one of the best decisions I have ever done in mylife because sober reality is state we live in the most, and this gave me the perfect chance to get to know myself sober.
In getting to know myself I also started to know other people better, and I noticed that the need for escapism is a serious problem in not only myself but everyone in western society.
Even those people who do not use drugs seem to have the same problem, they watch television and play games and do things constantly just so they would not be bored.
Looks like nowadays everyone is running away from theirself, so they must be constantly distracted from reality.
--------------
I have recently done my firstcandyflip and would like to say a few things about it.
I know that drugs can make you feel good, but when the high is over you're back in sober reality. So the purpose of this trip was to learn in everyway possible and bring back as much as possible in ordinary consciousness.
I don't know if I will ever trip again, but if I do it again it will most likely be a candyflip in similar doses.
----------------------
It was a nice evening in spring and the sun was coming down, when I decided I would go into nature and do some candyflipping.
I took a small dose of blotter-lsd (between 80-100µg) and 2 hours later i did a small dose of mdma (between 80 and 110 mg). The first two hours of the trip weren't that enjoyable because the effects of the LSD were not really that good and it was also kind of cold outside(8°C).. and the long grass I was sitting in made my pants wet. Luckily I had some really good music with me.. I had Psychedelic trance, Psychedelic ambient, Shpongle, Bob marley..
So as I mentioned the trip wasn't anything special and was feeling a bit lonely, but when the MDMA started working I found myself in a state which I think is sort of like the enlightenment that buddhists seek.
I was able to look brutally honest at all the problems inside and outside of me. And as the trip moved on it got pretty spiritual. Sometimes i became a little lonely and the effect of the drugs sort of disappeared, and what I did was I went and hugged a tree and i felt like this beautiful exchange of energy between me and the tree.
I felt 1 with the earth, all plants/trees and people as if we were one spiritual being that is always connected and constantly evolving/changing into something else.
The positive thing about dosing low was that, I was able to be very high and very sober at the same time which probably makes it a lot easier to integrate the psychedelic experience into "ordinary consciousness".
Another positive thing was that I decided to trip alone because that makes it way more personal. If you trip with someone else, you distract eachother and can't go as deep as when you are on your own. (that is the case with me at least)
----------------------
So to get back to the part before I talked about my candyflip...
in my opinion, I think that the reason why other people are constantly in need of something to entertain themself is because they have a lack of truth.
And one way to describe truth is love. Love in the sense of, not running away from reality (fear) but just embracing it totally. We think that by running away from reality we will somehow make it better for ourself, but actually the exact opposite is true.
There is nothing more satisfying than being in the moment, particularly when something bad happens because then it is most needed. Because if you accept the moment when things get really shitty, where is the problem?
The trick is you need to realize that thoughts or emotions are not our ultimate reality, so instead of trying to hold on to positive thoughts or emotions (=running away from the bad) you just need to let it all pas through you and leave all fears and doubt behind.
The only reason that we are not living in paradise is because of this 1 simple subtle mistake we all make every day, that is taking the reality of our thoughts and emotions for granted.
Instead of holding on or running away from thoughts or emotions, we just have to let it all pas through us and then we see that they are not true. Emotions are cool even those that make us feel bad because they are not true.
The proof they are not true is that they dissapear as soon as you stop putting energy in to them.
The reason why ecstasy (for example) is so *magical* is because it throws us into a state of consciousness which is a lot like what I have just described. There is no fear, only love.
So when a beloved friend dies or somebody started a nuclear war when you are high on ecstasy, there's not a problem because you don't try to run away from the truth you just let it go through you and make peace with it.
The same rules apply to the sober mindstate.
There is always the choice between fear and love, but when ecstasy is not working you must consciously choose for it... it doesn't happen automatically.
But the choice is always there. And if you want you can create a paradise for yourself, all you need to do is find that place inside you which is truer than thoughts and emotions and which is pure and innocent.
And then trust it and allow it to heal you
Peace
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