F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Sex: Male
Age: 46
Weight: 182 lbs (13 Stone)
Experience: First Time on MXE
General Experience (in order of first time):
Medication: Currently prescribed 60mg daily of Methadone for a 15 year long heroin addiction. This dosage has no effect on me other than to prevent withdrawal.
Other: Currently substituting opiates with alcohol due to high opiate tolerance. It's not unusual for me to consume a half bottle of vodka (350ml @ 37% ABV) per night, sometimes supplemented with 1 or 2 x 500ml cans of 9% strong lager. Whichever way you look at it, this is way more than the recommended maximum daily units of alcohol and is fast becoming a worse problem than the heroin it is replacing. I mention this because it may be significant to the rest of the report.
First, I apologise for not providing a very detailed trip report - Mainly this is because I don't possess milligram scales - but also because I find it impossible to relate a psychedelic experience until I have had chance to reflect upon it and assimilate it into my waking life. Therefore, the reported effects are not necessarily exactly as they were experienced at the time - rather, they are the product of my recollections and interpretation of them at a later date - i.e. based upon the memory rather than the actual experience. For this reason, time scales are not given, unless very approximate.
Also, although I have extensive experience of 'true' psychedelics such as mushrooms and LSD, I have no experience of dissociatives such as Ketamine and PCP or DXM and therefore had no idea what to expect from this new substance (MXE).
Furthermore, I have absolutely no prior experience of Research Chemicals and their relative potency or effects. What initially attracted me to this compound was the reported 'opiate' like effects. Because of my opiate tolerance and the fact that the UK & Eire are in the grip of a major heroin drought at the moment, anything which may give similar effects seems very attractive. Even though I score a £20 bag of smack for the wife every day, I myself only have about 4 or 5 lines as a 'handling tax', due to the fact it's not really worth it because of the poor quality and my tolerance level, plus the wife has a stronger psychological addiction to it than I do, so she 'thinks' she needs it.
Anyway, having now sampled this compound on three separate occasions (I will report the subsequent two occasions at a later date), I feel compelled to share my experiences with you all because:
1. I can find very little information regarding combinations with other drugs;
2. It is an extremely strong substance which WILL give you more than you bargained for at some point if you're not careful;
I received my first order of 500mg MXE on Saturday 5/2/11, having ordered it only the day before - now that's what I call service...
It was double bagged and labelled and consisted of a very fine white powder which was not crystalline at all. There was no discernible smell and the amount looked generous - if I had bought 0.5g of phet sulphate which looked like this I would have been more than happy - though I have no idea of the relative densities of each so this may not be a fair comparison. Lets just say it looked like it would last a long time.
Because of the reported potential for a psychedelic experience, I had no immediate plans to take it - I have a wife & 2 kids which makes finding the opportunity to 'drop a trip' very difficult to say the least. I haven't done mushrooms for maybe 10 - 15 years, nor acid for even longer... However, I was quite eager to see what this had to offer.
So on the same day that I received it, I proceeded to down my standard half bottle of vodka. Not surprisingly, it wasn't long before my thoughts turned to the 'baggy in the cupboard'. As I mentioned before, I don't have accurate scales so I would have to rely on eyeballing the doses - a practice I realize is very (justifiably)frowned upon and makes me seem somewhat irresponsible. However, in my defence, you never really know how much you're taking with most drugs - especially ones found in plants or bought illegally.
By about 5:00pm, I was somewhat inebriated and my eagerness to test this stuff out got the upper hand, so I scooped up a pin head sized amount on the end of my pinky and placed it under my tongue (I'd read on Bluelight that sublingual was the best ROA for this product). After an hour or so, It was apparent I had not collapsed with a major allergic reaction to this chemical so I had another dab - a light coating on the end of my little finger placed under the tongue and left to dissolve. The taste was quite strong, but not unpleasant and seemed quite familiar - possibly reminiscent of very good speed or even the after taste of quality smack - but maybe it was just Deja Vu or a false memory caused by the MXE. I started to feel a little 'funny' almost immediately afterwards and went to join my wife in the living room watching TV. This is almost unheard of for me as I hate TV and prefer to sit in the kitchen reading 'Bluelight' or similar on my mobile.
I also must add at this point that I hadn't told my wife I was experimenting with MXE because it makes me very anxious if someone knows I'm tripping as I assume they are in turn anxious about me - especially if a new drug is involved. Also, she knew I'd been drinking so would probably attribute any strange behaviour to the booze. This made me feel much more relaxed about the situation, but again could be deemed irresponsible because If I had had a bad reaction she wouln't have known what to tell the doctors. This was a risk I was willing to take however because I didn't want to feel like I was in a goldfish bowl.
Within a short space of time (half hour at most) I became aware of the familiar alerts of an impending trip, such as slight visual and auditory disturbances, but nothing heavy yet. The Michael Keaton Batman movie was just finishing and my wife and myself had a brief conversation about how good the Christian Bale version was - this actually becomes quite significent later on. I was by now feeling quite good with a slight enhanced feeling of empathy, but nothing you could really call 'euphoria'. The TV looked 'larger than life' with enhanced colours and distorted faces. As it was by now 8pm, 'Casualty'was just starting. For the non Brits out there, this is an hour long hospital drama series which I normally never watch. For those that know, one of the female doctors, Ruth, has had a breakdown and is currently on the psychiatric ward. This entire episode was about her sinking deeper into madness and eventually causing another patient to attempt suicide by setting himself on fire causing horrific burns all over his body (after first shagging him of course!). Great, just what you want to watch while starting to come up on an unknown hallucinogenic substance. However, I became absolutely absorbed in the plot and couldn't believe how realistic the portrayal was. As my trip became stronger the more convincing the characters became and the faces became grotesque charicatures of themselves. At no point did I feel any anxiety and felt totally in control. Occassionaly I would speak to my wife, but it was getting rather difficult and soon descended into a series of grunts and 'wow, fuckin' amazing'. The MXE was coming in waves now. At times I felt like I was soon going to be overwhelmed, but then it would soon pass. It definitely felt similar to a low to medium dose mushroom trip, but without any real visuals. Apart from the distortions and enhancements mentioned above, when I closed my eyes there was something happening, but it was all very dark and indistinct, it was more like I could sense swirls and shapes before my eyes without actually 'seeing' them. At some point I redosed with a similar amount to keep the (quite enjoyable) roller coaster running. The body load was surprisingly low. My heart felt strong and steady, but no faster than usual which was strange because I definitely felt quite stimulated, but the stimulation was 'in my head' only. Also, I was aware of quite a pressure in my head, but it was not unpleasant or even uncomfortable, it just felt like my skull was stuffed with cotton wool. There was a slight numbness in my extremities, but the physical effects were again more like mushrooms than anything else I had known, though not as intense. I certainly didn't feel like I was on a different class of drugs and wondered what this 'dissociation' was all about. It did feel at times like I was about to 'break through' to another level but it didn't happen and every now and then the roller coaster would stop and I felt very lucid again, albeit rather briefly.
When Casualty finished, I got up to go and get a drink of water (I still had a can of beer on the go but the taste was no longer appealing) and was surprised to find it extremely difficult to walk. I had to steady myself against the wall and take small, staggering steps to get where I wanted. I also saw myself in the mirror and was shocked at how extremely fucked up I looked. My eyelids were red all round and my pupils were pinned like I'd had some decent heroin for a change. I was glad the light was off in the living room because I'm sure the wife would have noticed how fucked I looked. I remember thinking how weird it was to be tripping but not have pupils like saucers. Again, I redosed with a slightly larger amount and rejoined the wife. This time I sat on the other sofa because I wanted to lie flat. Soon I was sinking into the sofa feeling very chilled and comfortable.
Next on TV was a drama about Henry VIII and I kept remarking what a dirty bastard he was for shagging so many young girls.. It was now getting rather difficult to keep track of what was going on. After this finished there was a comedy with Matt Lucas and David Walliams which was a spoof documentary about a cheap airline - this had me laughing my tits off from start to finish. As this program was drawing to a close, my son woke up and starting shouting for me to read him a story. This brought on a brief moment of panic - how the hell was I going to get it together enough to manage this without blowing my cover? But when I actually managed to stagger upstairs and get in bed with him, I found it quite easy to control the trip and successfully read him his story without much of a problem. Half way through the story, my wife shouted upstairs 'you'll never guess what's just starting on TV?' 'What?' I replied. 'The Machinist - with Christian Bale' she said. This just blew my mind... All night I had been thinking that the TV was conspiring to provide me with lots of trippy material just to keep me entertained. Now, having already talked about Christian Bale and what a good actor he is, here was one of my favourite films - just for my benefit. Anyone who is familiar with this film knows just how heavy it is - not exactly tripping material really. However, it looked like this was how my trip was panning out so I would have to deal with it. I was absolutely engrossed from start to finish (and couldn't remember the ending so it was as much of a surprise as the first time I saw it). To my relief, the wife went to bed before the end so I could wallow in my self inflicted psychotic episode whilst empathising with the character. This is what was different from mushroom trips - if I had been on mushrooms I would have freaked. But MXE allowed me to become totally absorbed whilst remaining detached enough to not let it engulf me.
After The Machinist I watched another comedy film - 'Hot Fuzz', which also had undercurrents of madness, violence and death - it seemed that everything on TV this night was selected just to fuck my head up. Finally, I watched a documentary on waves (water, electromagnetic, gravity etc.), which also managed to make a connection with cycles of life and death and the loss of the presenter's father. When this finished, it was around 2:30am and I felt as though I had pretty much landed, though I was still having trippy thoughts and finding great significance in everything I saw. I decided to crash out on the sofa, but as soon as I shut my eyes I knew the MXE wasn't finished yet. I was still having the swirly yet dark CEVs and kept feeling as though I was falling, only to come round suddenly to find myself moaning out loud. This wasn't unpleasant, but a little annoying and I still felt stimulated enough to not be able to get to sleep easily even though I really wanted to by now. My legs and arms felt a little battered, like I had been doing some strenuous activity and my eyes still looked awful. However, I eventually fell asleep after some time.
The next morning I didn't feel bad at all. There were some residual effects which felt like the day after a mushroom trip or a night on the speed and I felt slightly stimulated for most of the next day while spending a lot of it thinking about and analysing the experience.
To conclude, I found MXE to be quite an interesting and powerful substance. I had no overwhelming desire to try it again, but felt that there was potential there for further experimentation. I wouldn't say it was particularly fun and there was little to no euphoria, but it was definitely a 'trip', though more of a head trip than a visual or psychedelic experience. It did not feel at all toxic and my body hardly suffered at all. I had slightly clammy hands at one point but no elevated heart rate or sweating (that I noticed anyway). Unfortunately I have absolutely no idea how much I took and I don't know how much the alcohol and methadone coloured the trip. IME alcohol usually intensifies hallucinogenics for me while methadone holds me back. When I've done mushrooms on top of methadone before it felt like I was drowning and desperately trying to get to the surface and break free, but the methadone was like a millstone round my neck. With MXE, I also felt like I was trying to break through something but not quite getting there. Maybe I just didn't do enough or the methadone wouldn't let me. Also, I didn't quite understand the reports of opiate like effects from MXE, but again this could just be my tolerance at work. I also left the experience still not knowing what dissociatives are - at least no more than the usual dissociative effects of any hallucinogenic. What really struck home with me though was just how little of a pure drug you need to have a profound effect. People have complained about MXE being expensive, but considering I'd get around 10 decent trips from 0.5g I don't think it's expensive at all.
Right, that's just about it now - sorry for the length. When I can be arsed to write it up I'll post my next MXE experience - when I decided to IM it - and found 'The Hole'.
Take Care.......
Age: 46
Weight: 182 lbs (13 Stone)
Experience: First Time on MXE
General Experience (in order of first time):
- Cannabis
- Psilocybin Mushrooms (Psilocybe Semilanceata)
- Amphetamine Sulphate
- Opium
- LSD
- Heroin
- Benzodiazepines
- Cocaine
- Methadone
- MDMA
- Crack Cocaine
- MXE
Medication: Currently prescribed 60mg daily of Methadone for a 15 year long heroin addiction. This dosage has no effect on me other than to prevent withdrawal.
Other: Currently substituting opiates with alcohol due to high opiate tolerance. It's not unusual for me to consume a half bottle of vodka (350ml @ 37% ABV) per night, sometimes supplemented with 1 or 2 x 500ml cans of 9% strong lager. Whichever way you look at it, this is way more than the recommended maximum daily units of alcohol and is fast becoming a worse problem than the heroin it is replacing. I mention this because it may be significant to the rest of the report.
First, I apologise for not providing a very detailed trip report - Mainly this is because I don't possess milligram scales - but also because I find it impossible to relate a psychedelic experience until I have had chance to reflect upon it and assimilate it into my waking life. Therefore, the reported effects are not necessarily exactly as they were experienced at the time - rather, they are the product of my recollections and interpretation of them at a later date - i.e. based upon the memory rather than the actual experience. For this reason, time scales are not given, unless very approximate.
Also, although I have extensive experience of 'true' psychedelics such as mushrooms and LSD, I have no experience of dissociatives such as Ketamine and PCP or DXM and therefore had no idea what to expect from this new substance (MXE).
Furthermore, I have absolutely no prior experience of Research Chemicals and their relative potency or effects. What initially attracted me to this compound was the reported 'opiate' like effects. Because of my opiate tolerance and the fact that the UK & Eire are in the grip of a major heroin drought at the moment, anything which may give similar effects seems very attractive. Even though I score a £20 bag of smack for the wife every day, I myself only have about 4 or 5 lines as a 'handling tax', due to the fact it's not really worth it because of the poor quality and my tolerance level, plus the wife has a stronger psychological addiction to it than I do, so she 'thinks' she needs it.
Anyway, having now sampled this compound on three separate occasions (I will report the subsequent two occasions at a later date), I feel compelled to share my experiences with you all because:
1. I can find very little information regarding combinations with other drugs;
2. It is an extremely strong substance which WILL give you more than you bargained for at some point if you're not careful;
I received my first order of 500mg MXE on Saturday 5/2/11, having ordered it only the day before - now that's what I call service...
It was double bagged and labelled and consisted of a very fine white powder which was not crystalline at all. There was no discernible smell and the amount looked generous - if I had bought 0.5g of phet sulphate which looked like this I would have been more than happy - though I have no idea of the relative densities of each so this may not be a fair comparison. Lets just say it looked like it would last a long time.
Because of the reported potential for a psychedelic experience, I had no immediate plans to take it - I have a wife & 2 kids which makes finding the opportunity to 'drop a trip' very difficult to say the least. I haven't done mushrooms for maybe 10 - 15 years, nor acid for even longer... However, I was quite eager to see what this had to offer.
So on the same day that I received it, I proceeded to down my standard half bottle of vodka. Not surprisingly, it wasn't long before my thoughts turned to the 'baggy in the cupboard'. As I mentioned before, I don't have accurate scales so I would have to rely on eyeballing the doses - a practice I realize is very (justifiably)frowned upon and makes me seem somewhat irresponsible. However, in my defence, you never really know how much you're taking with most drugs - especially ones found in plants or bought illegally.
By about 5:00pm, I was somewhat inebriated and my eagerness to test this stuff out got the upper hand, so I scooped up a pin head sized amount on the end of my pinky and placed it under my tongue (I'd read on Bluelight that sublingual was the best ROA for this product). After an hour or so, It was apparent I had not collapsed with a major allergic reaction to this chemical so I had another dab - a light coating on the end of my little finger placed under the tongue and left to dissolve. The taste was quite strong, but not unpleasant and seemed quite familiar - possibly reminiscent of very good speed or even the after taste of quality smack - but maybe it was just Deja Vu or a false memory caused by the MXE. I started to feel a little 'funny' almost immediately afterwards and went to join my wife in the living room watching TV. This is almost unheard of for me as I hate TV and prefer to sit in the kitchen reading 'Bluelight' or similar on my mobile.
I also must add at this point that I hadn't told my wife I was experimenting with MXE because it makes me very anxious if someone knows I'm tripping as I assume they are in turn anxious about me - especially if a new drug is involved. Also, she knew I'd been drinking so would probably attribute any strange behaviour to the booze. This made me feel much more relaxed about the situation, but again could be deemed irresponsible because If I had had a bad reaction she wouln't have known what to tell the doctors. This was a risk I was willing to take however because I didn't want to feel like I was in a goldfish bowl.
Within a short space of time (half hour at most) I became aware of the familiar alerts of an impending trip, such as slight visual and auditory disturbances, but nothing heavy yet. The Michael Keaton Batman movie was just finishing and my wife and myself had a brief conversation about how good the Christian Bale version was - this actually becomes quite significent later on. I was by now feeling quite good with a slight enhanced feeling of empathy, but nothing you could really call 'euphoria'. The TV looked 'larger than life' with enhanced colours and distorted faces. As it was by now 8pm, 'Casualty'was just starting. For the non Brits out there, this is an hour long hospital drama series which I normally never watch. For those that know, one of the female doctors, Ruth, has had a breakdown and is currently on the psychiatric ward. This entire episode was about her sinking deeper into madness and eventually causing another patient to attempt suicide by setting himself on fire causing horrific burns all over his body (after first shagging him of course!). Great, just what you want to watch while starting to come up on an unknown hallucinogenic substance. However, I became absolutely absorbed in the plot and couldn't believe how realistic the portrayal was. As my trip became stronger the more convincing the characters became and the faces became grotesque charicatures of themselves. At no point did I feel any anxiety and felt totally in control. Occassionaly I would speak to my wife, but it was getting rather difficult and soon descended into a series of grunts and 'wow, fuckin' amazing'. The MXE was coming in waves now. At times I felt like I was soon going to be overwhelmed, but then it would soon pass. It definitely felt similar to a low to medium dose mushroom trip, but without any real visuals. Apart from the distortions and enhancements mentioned above, when I closed my eyes there was something happening, but it was all very dark and indistinct, it was more like I could sense swirls and shapes before my eyes without actually 'seeing' them. At some point I redosed with a similar amount to keep the (quite enjoyable) roller coaster running. The body load was surprisingly low. My heart felt strong and steady, but no faster than usual which was strange because I definitely felt quite stimulated, but the stimulation was 'in my head' only. Also, I was aware of quite a pressure in my head, but it was not unpleasant or even uncomfortable, it just felt like my skull was stuffed with cotton wool. There was a slight numbness in my extremities, but the physical effects were again more like mushrooms than anything else I had known, though not as intense. I certainly didn't feel like I was on a different class of drugs and wondered what this 'dissociation' was all about. It did feel at times like I was about to 'break through' to another level but it didn't happen and every now and then the roller coaster would stop and I felt very lucid again, albeit rather briefly.
When Casualty finished, I got up to go and get a drink of water (I still had a can of beer on the go but the taste was no longer appealing) and was surprised to find it extremely difficult to walk. I had to steady myself against the wall and take small, staggering steps to get where I wanted. I also saw myself in the mirror and was shocked at how extremely fucked up I looked. My eyelids were red all round and my pupils were pinned like I'd had some decent heroin for a change. I was glad the light was off in the living room because I'm sure the wife would have noticed how fucked I looked. I remember thinking how weird it was to be tripping but not have pupils like saucers. Again, I redosed with a slightly larger amount and rejoined the wife. This time I sat on the other sofa because I wanted to lie flat. Soon I was sinking into the sofa feeling very chilled and comfortable.
Next on TV was a drama about Henry VIII and I kept remarking what a dirty bastard he was for shagging so many young girls.. It was now getting rather difficult to keep track of what was going on. After this finished there was a comedy with Matt Lucas and David Walliams which was a spoof documentary about a cheap airline - this had me laughing my tits off from start to finish. As this program was drawing to a close, my son woke up and starting shouting for me to read him a story. This brought on a brief moment of panic - how the hell was I going to get it together enough to manage this without blowing my cover? But when I actually managed to stagger upstairs and get in bed with him, I found it quite easy to control the trip and successfully read him his story without much of a problem. Half way through the story, my wife shouted upstairs 'you'll never guess what's just starting on TV?' 'What?' I replied. 'The Machinist - with Christian Bale' she said. This just blew my mind... All night I had been thinking that the TV was conspiring to provide me with lots of trippy material just to keep me entertained. Now, having already talked about Christian Bale and what a good actor he is, here was one of my favourite films - just for my benefit. Anyone who is familiar with this film knows just how heavy it is - not exactly tripping material really. However, it looked like this was how my trip was panning out so I would have to deal with it. I was absolutely engrossed from start to finish (and couldn't remember the ending so it was as much of a surprise as the first time I saw it). To my relief, the wife went to bed before the end so I could wallow in my self inflicted psychotic episode whilst empathising with the character. This is what was different from mushroom trips - if I had been on mushrooms I would have freaked. But MXE allowed me to become totally absorbed whilst remaining detached enough to not let it engulf me.
After The Machinist I watched another comedy film - 'Hot Fuzz', which also had undercurrents of madness, violence and death - it seemed that everything on TV this night was selected just to fuck my head up. Finally, I watched a documentary on waves (water, electromagnetic, gravity etc.), which also managed to make a connection with cycles of life and death and the loss of the presenter's father. When this finished, it was around 2:30am and I felt as though I had pretty much landed, though I was still having trippy thoughts and finding great significance in everything I saw. I decided to crash out on the sofa, but as soon as I shut my eyes I knew the MXE wasn't finished yet. I was still having the swirly yet dark CEVs and kept feeling as though I was falling, only to come round suddenly to find myself moaning out loud. This wasn't unpleasant, but a little annoying and I still felt stimulated enough to not be able to get to sleep easily even though I really wanted to by now. My legs and arms felt a little battered, like I had been doing some strenuous activity and my eyes still looked awful. However, I eventually fell asleep after some time.
The next morning I didn't feel bad at all. There were some residual effects which felt like the day after a mushroom trip or a night on the speed and I felt slightly stimulated for most of the next day while spending a lot of it thinking about and analysing the experience.
To conclude, I found MXE to be quite an interesting and powerful substance. I had no overwhelming desire to try it again, but felt that there was potential there for further experimentation. I wouldn't say it was particularly fun and there was little to no euphoria, but it was definitely a 'trip', though more of a head trip than a visual or psychedelic experience. It did not feel at all toxic and my body hardly suffered at all. I had slightly clammy hands at one point but no elevated heart rate or sweating (that I noticed anyway). Unfortunately I have absolutely no idea how much I took and I don't know how much the alcohol and methadone coloured the trip. IME alcohol usually intensifies hallucinogenics for me while methadone holds me back. When I've done mushrooms on top of methadone before it felt like I was drowning and desperately trying to get to the surface and break free, but the methadone was like a millstone round my neck. With MXE, I also felt like I was trying to break through something but not quite getting there. Maybe I just didn't do enough or the methadone wouldn't let me. Also, I didn't quite understand the reports of opiate like effects from MXE, but again this could just be my tolerance at work. I also left the experience still not knowing what dissociatives are - at least no more than the usual dissociative effects of any hallucinogenic. What really struck home with me though was just how little of a pure drug you need to have a profound effect. People have complained about MXE being expensive, but considering I'd get around 10 decent trips from 0.5g I don't think it's expensive at all.
Right, that's just about it now - sorry for the length. When I can be arsed to write it up I'll post my next MXE experience - when I decided to IM it - and found 'The Hole'.
Take Care.......
) and put on some long, trippy, and restrained but dynamic music.