Seattle_Stranger
Bluelighter
What I experienced the other night is something I will never forget. It was ironic too because I had just finished having the "don't ever underestimate the mushroom" conversation with someone earlier in the day. I thought I had a strong understanding and respect, however, they seemed to demand a bit more this time.
Small preface, I smoke weed pretty much all day, every day, and this day was no different. I should also mention I was smoking weed throughout the trip. Lastly, I had a beer right before eating the mushrooms, and one right after eating them. I'm currently on 200mg lamotrigine daily, and I took a B complex vitamin, a D vitamin, and an antacid, not to mention a hearty meal before consuming the mushrooms. A half cigar was smoked during the trip.
So, a friend comes over at about midnight and offers an 8th a mushrooms. I told him I wasn't really trying to, however without being able to find a good reason why not, I accepted. He weighs me out 3.7g of some pretty sizable shrooms, long fat stems and ~1.5" caps from a the same bag of shrooms that I have tripped on about a month before. I gobble down most of it, leaving about ~1.5g for later.
I can't give accurate time stamps for this report because the time distortion I was experiencing was insanely severe, and I had no concept of time whatsoever. I was able to check the clock a few times, but that's it.
~12:30 - I start to feel the first effects coming on, colors getting brighter, very slight shifting in shapes, and big time music enhancement. I eat the remainder of the shrooms at this time.
~1:30 - Over the course of the last hour, effects build more and more, and I'm actually surprised at how little anxiety I have. I always get really bad anxiety with psych's, but this time I was nearly anxiety free! Getting nice visuals, patterning, melting, all that. Doing a lot of giggling, feeling euphoric, so far the trip was going awesome. I curl up on the couch and watch Family Guy with my fellow tripper and baked roommate. Feeling great, the trip is intensifying but nothing I didn't expect.
I should mention that this was happening a lot again:
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=534907
~2:00 - As I sit on the couch, I'm starting to trip really hard. Lots of OEV's, intense CEV's, and this crazy thought loop I couldn't seem to get out of. It didn't make sense, but at the same time did. It had something to do with everything being connected, something about the past being gone forever, something about being some simple entity, just to give some sort of rough idea of where my mind was. I started to think to myself "Wow, I'm really starting to lose touch with reality. I think I should let someone know." I tell my friend that I have never tripped this hard on shrooms before. The thought loop was intensifying, and the reality we know was making less and less sense. I was really starting to trip hard, however I must say I didn't feel bad about it at the time. I was still feeling great, having fun, great body high, but this weird trippy nonsense thought loop was getting shorter and shorter, kinda like a spiral. The closer to the center of the spiral I would get, the less sense reality made. I kept thinking over and over "I'm really losing touch with reality. I know this is how shrooms work so I know it's all good, but I still should probably let my gf know just to be safe." My gf was in the other room sleeping. She was sober. I decide to walk into the kitchen...
--I have no idea what time it was--
I walk into the kitchen, still feeling alright but definitely tripping harder than I ever have. My fellow tripper follows me into the kitchen. I turn to him and say "Dude, I think I need to go lay down."
....and that's the last thing I remember......until I was waking up in my bed, sweat POURING out of me, heart beating like a jackhammer, gasping for breath, with my friends and girlfriend around me screaming at me to wake up.
I didn't know where I was. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know when I was. I didn't know who these people were, what was happening, nothing. I was horrified. I was in a state of complete terror, convinced I was dead. Over the next few minutes or so, I could not even comprehend the thoughts going through my mind. They made no sense at all, but at the same time, they made more sense than anything that anyone has ever said. I had lost complete control of my mind and body. The entire universe was displayed before me, I could see everything, and how it was all connected. Every single last thing was connected by frequencies, and I could hear them. I could see them too. The sound that I was hearing was so loud that it drowned out all the yelling and commotion. WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH like two helicopters landing in my ears. Looking around the room everything was being pulled together into a ball in the center of my vision, as if it were all being sucked into a black hole. I kept thinking this was it, it was all over, you stupid fucking stoner, you've done it now. Now, you're brain dead.
While all this was happening, there was yet the slightest, tiniest glimmer of reality I was able to hold onto, the very small familiar "feeling" (for lack of a better word) that reminded me that I took mushrooms, they will eventually wear off, and that I'm probably experiencing that "ego death" I've read so much about. It's hard to explain, but I had to work really hard to convince myself that this was the real thought I should be thinking, and not all this outside nonesense. It was overwhelming though, my brain was flooded with poison, more poison than I could control any longer and it took over. It was in control, so I basically had to fight to hold on to reality. I knew who these people were, I knew where I was and what was up, but still, it was a fight to convince myself of it. I clung to my girlfriend and repeated over and over "Do not leave me PLEASE do not leave me." I was terrified, pure fear. I started to collect my thoughts little by little, but would still keep slipping in and out of control. I felt like I had to re-learn life and how to live. I honestly thought something was really really wrong with my brain, and that I was stuck this way forever.
Things started calming down when I came to consciousness, and as I layed there in my bed clutching to my gf's leg, still feeling permanently damaged, she asked my friend "So what happened?" He said that I was standing there in the kitchen with him, and mid-sentence I just DROPPED and face planted into a wall. He said at first he thought I was kidding, but then when he looked at my face, he described it as "I could just see there was no one there". He picked me up and carried me to my room and flopped me down on my bed in which my poor girlfriend was sleeping. What a way to wake up!
Very slowly, I started to regain more and more consciousness and pull myself back into the real world. As I began to realize that it really was wearing off, and I actually didn't damage myself, and that everything was going to be alright, I started crying. Tears of joy that I was alive, and ok. My friends all started to joke with me to make me feel better, and it worked. I started laughing and giggling again, still tripping really hard but now in control again! The rest of the trip lasted several more hours and was pain free from there on.
What. A. Night.
It's good to know I'm alright now, but also pretty off-putting knowing that I passed out. I never heard of anyone passing out while standing up, mid sentence while on shrooms! It was only 3.7g too, and while yes I know potency is not consistent, it's not like it was a heroic dose or anything. How could this happen? I don't know if my medication has anything to do with it, research shows nothing.
I've been feeling slightly depressed these couple days after. Not sure why, I can't seem to find any particular reason I'd be feeling depressed, but I am. Is this common?
Lastly, I was supposed to roll on NYE, now I'm not so sure. On the off chance that I decide to, is there any kind of danger to my serotonin system or something like that? My biggest concern is the fact that I actually lost consciousness, not so much the ego death. I actually passed out right where I stood in the middle of a sentence, and that's scary. I've never fainted in my life. I've rolled many times before without ever any issue, but I don't know how rolling would affect a brain that just took this beating.
Input? Comments?
Thanks for reading.
Small preface, I smoke weed pretty much all day, every day, and this day was no different. I should also mention I was smoking weed throughout the trip. Lastly, I had a beer right before eating the mushrooms, and one right after eating them. I'm currently on 200mg lamotrigine daily, and I took a B complex vitamin, a D vitamin, and an antacid, not to mention a hearty meal before consuming the mushrooms. A half cigar was smoked during the trip.
So, a friend comes over at about midnight and offers an 8th a mushrooms. I told him I wasn't really trying to, however without being able to find a good reason why not, I accepted. He weighs me out 3.7g of some pretty sizable shrooms, long fat stems and ~1.5" caps from a the same bag of shrooms that I have tripped on about a month before. I gobble down most of it, leaving about ~1.5g for later.
I can't give accurate time stamps for this report because the time distortion I was experiencing was insanely severe, and I had no concept of time whatsoever. I was able to check the clock a few times, but that's it.
~12:30 - I start to feel the first effects coming on, colors getting brighter, very slight shifting in shapes, and big time music enhancement. I eat the remainder of the shrooms at this time.
~1:30 - Over the course of the last hour, effects build more and more, and I'm actually surprised at how little anxiety I have. I always get really bad anxiety with psych's, but this time I was nearly anxiety free! Getting nice visuals, patterning, melting, all that. Doing a lot of giggling, feeling euphoric, so far the trip was going awesome. I curl up on the couch and watch Family Guy with my fellow tripper and baked roommate. Feeling great, the trip is intensifying but nothing I didn't expect.
I should mention that this was happening a lot again:
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=534907
~2:00 - As I sit on the couch, I'm starting to trip really hard. Lots of OEV's, intense CEV's, and this crazy thought loop I couldn't seem to get out of. It didn't make sense, but at the same time did. It had something to do with everything being connected, something about the past being gone forever, something about being some simple entity, just to give some sort of rough idea of where my mind was. I started to think to myself "Wow, I'm really starting to lose touch with reality. I think I should let someone know." I tell my friend that I have never tripped this hard on shrooms before. The thought loop was intensifying, and the reality we know was making less and less sense. I was really starting to trip hard, however I must say I didn't feel bad about it at the time. I was still feeling great, having fun, great body high, but this weird trippy nonsense thought loop was getting shorter and shorter, kinda like a spiral. The closer to the center of the spiral I would get, the less sense reality made. I kept thinking over and over "I'm really losing touch with reality. I know this is how shrooms work so I know it's all good, but I still should probably let my gf know just to be safe." My gf was in the other room sleeping. She was sober. I decide to walk into the kitchen...
--I have no idea what time it was--
I walk into the kitchen, still feeling alright but definitely tripping harder than I ever have. My fellow tripper follows me into the kitchen. I turn to him and say "Dude, I think I need to go lay down."
....and that's the last thing I remember......until I was waking up in my bed, sweat POURING out of me, heart beating like a jackhammer, gasping for breath, with my friends and girlfriend around me screaming at me to wake up.
I didn't know where I was. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know when I was. I didn't know who these people were, what was happening, nothing. I was horrified. I was in a state of complete terror, convinced I was dead. Over the next few minutes or so, I could not even comprehend the thoughts going through my mind. They made no sense at all, but at the same time, they made more sense than anything that anyone has ever said. I had lost complete control of my mind and body. The entire universe was displayed before me, I could see everything, and how it was all connected. Every single last thing was connected by frequencies, and I could hear them. I could see them too. The sound that I was hearing was so loud that it drowned out all the yelling and commotion. WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH like two helicopters landing in my ears. Looking around the room everything was being pulled together into a ball in the center of my vision, as if it were all being sucked into a black hole. I kept thinking this was it, it was all over, you stupid fucking stoner, you've done it now. Now, you're brain dead.
While all this was happening, there was yet the slightest, tiniest glimmer of reality I was able to hold onto, the very small familiar "feeling" (for lack of a better word) that reminded me that I took mushrooms, they will eventually wear off, and that I'm probably experiencing that "ego death" I've read so much about. It's hard to explain, but I had to work really hard to convince myself that this was the real thought I should be thinking, and not all this outside nonesense. It was overwhelming though, my brain was flooded with poison, more poison than I could control any longer and it took over. It was in control, so I basically had to fight to hold on to reality. I knew who these people were, I knew where I was and what was up, but still, it was a fight to convince myself of it. I clung to my girlfriend and repeated over and over "Do not leave me PLEASE do not leave me." I was terrified, pure fear. I started to collect my thoughts little by little, but would still keep slipping in and out of control. I felt like I had to re-learn life and how to live. I honestly thought something was really really wrong with my brain, and that I was stuck this way forever.
Things started calming down when I came to consciousness, and as I layed there in my bed clutching to my gf's leg, still feeling permanently damaged, she asked my friend "So what happened?" He said that I was standing there in the kitchen with him, and mid-sentence I just DROPPED and face planted into a wall. He said at first he thought I was kidding, but then when he looked at my face, he described it as "I could just see there was no one there". He picked me up and carried me to my room and flopped me down on my bed in which my poor girlfriend was sleeping. What a way to wake up!
Very slowly, I started to regain more and more consciousness and pull myself back into the real world. As I began to realize that it really was wearing off, and I actually didn't damage myself, and that everything was going to be alright, I started crying. Tears of joy that I was alive, and ok. My friends all started to joke with me to make me feel better, and it worked. I started laughing and giggling again, still tripping really hard but now in control again! The rest of the trip lasted several more hours and was pain free from there on.
What. A. Night.
It's good to know I'm alright now, but also pretty off-putting knowing that I passed out. I never heard of anyone passing out while standing up, mid sentence while on shrooms! It was only 3.7g too, and while yes I know potency is not consistent, it's not like it was a heroic dose or anything. How could this happen? I don't know if my medication has anything to do with it, research shows nothing.
I've been feeling slightly depressed these couple days after. Not sure why, I can't seem to find any particular reason I'd be feeling depressed, but I am. Is this common?
Lastly, I was supposed to roll on NYE, now I'm not so sure. On the off chance that I decide to, is there any kind of danger to my serotonin system or something like that? My biggest concern is the fact that I actually lost consciousness, not so much the ego death. I actually passed out right where I stood in the middle of a sentence, and that's scary. I've never fainted in my life. I've rolled many times before without ever any issue, but I don't know how rolling would affect a brain that just took this beating.
Input? Comments?
Thanks for reading.
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