quintessence
Bluelighter
Mushrooms - 1/2 an 1/8th - third time shrooming
On Friday evening, I went over to N.'s place and we chilled for a while. I had brought along my mushrooms, and after about an hour of just hanging around I decided to take them since it was such a good situation. I made some kava tea because of it's calming properties, then chewed up about half an eighth (it tasted good!). We then headed out to the playground! The mushrooms started to hit just as we crossed the street to use the bathroom at the supermarket, and I had a good time inside pretending to be normal, giggling a lot.. An interesting feeling, like tingling and melting. It intensified when we reached the playground and climbed up on this concrete dinosaur sculpture, and i started feeling like there was running water inside of me. The whole scene started looking weird and cartoonish, and I started seeing "everything at once". We had to meet our friends, so started heading back. I started feeling like I was dripping, and suddenly got the horrible feeling that I'd lost bladder control (I hadn't, thank god, it's just a trick that mushrooms like to play). I was so paranoid and embarrassed, I took off my hoodie and tied it around my waist and started walking faster. N. started doing accents and it was funny, but scary, especially since he looked like Donald Duck or some similar cartoon character. When he started walking like a cartoon, I almost started screaming.
We got back to the house, met R. and L., and I informed them that I was seeing fractals. I then made a rush to the bathroom and found that I was physically just fine, totally normal, except for my pupils of course. Relief! We all went outside and had a cigarette, and I mostly stayed quiet as I was losing the ability to speak or even keep track of the conversation. I was seeing tracers, the air was shimmering, energy was really intense and I couldn't even stand N.'s reiki and shoulder massage for long. L. and R. had to leave soon after that, much to my relief even though R. was a good friend of mine.. I was starting to feel too intense and I realized these things were really, REALLY potent. After they left, I asked for some more kava tea, and then told N. that I had to explore his yard.
I followed the path around, until I was hidden by a bunch of tall grass, and then I totally lost it. N. called to me to ask what he should put in my tea, and I replied, "I don't care... anything... um, I have to stay out here, I'll be back to Earth later... goodbye.." I started seeing everything as interconnected vines, the grass was glowing bright green and it was singing to me. I started talking to the Earth and asking how I could heal it. I started crying, but really strange crying, it felt like something was pouring water into me and now it was pouring out of me, and I felt hands on my head that were not human hands. N. brought out the tea, and a tissue, and just stayed quiet. He had taken a couple stems of my 1/8th and was starting to feel it a little. I had lost the ability to speak, but managed to gasp out a few sentances here and there, things like "I'm so glad to be a part of the Earth" and "You have people running around inside of you". Unfortunately I still had enough ego to be embarrassed, so it was hard to make a connection with him. I finally forced myself to ask him for reiki, and reached my hand out to him, and it was just beautiful.. reconnecting. I could see a red glowing aura around our hands, along with the flowing green glow of the grass beside us.
We sat outside for about an hour or two, then N. wanted to go inside, but I really wanted to stay outside. I started feeling this whole ego conflict that went like this: I want to stay outside, but N. wants to stay inside, but I don't want to leave him alone, but I really need to stay outside, but I'm a guest in his house and can't just be alone in his backyard, but I won't feel right inside... and so on. I finally managed to compromise. We stayed outside for about half an hour more, and then I requested that we go inside (I was starting to feel a teeny bit cold, too). I told the Earth my reasons and made sure to be firm about it. And suddenly, while I was washing my hands inside, I realized that I felt perfectly okay with being where I was. I was at peace.
N. and I put on some soft oriental type music, dimmed the lights, then I did reiki on him for about an hour or maybe more. It felt SO good to give!! I felt huge and powerful with energy, and I couldn't give it away fast enough. I also had a strange perception of my body -- it seemed huge, and bloated and fat, and I almost started crying again because I felt so huge and fat (really strange for me, I've never had that particular issue). Then after a while I realized that it was my psyche and energy that was huge, and I was just projecting it onto my body. I realized that my problem was not that I wasn't powerful enough, I was TOO powerful, almost dangerously so, and turning it in on myself and making myself sick.
And unfortunately, that was about the time I started realizing how sick I had been feeling for a while. I drank some water, but it hurt, I tried to throw up, but that hurt too. Every damn thing hurt, and after a while I had to quit giving reiki to N. and lay down flat and move as little as possible. N. did reiki on me for a long time, and balanced my chakras, which made me feel better mentally if not physically. We talked for a long time about stuff, very calmly, worked some things out and it was good. If I hadn't been so physically unwell I would have felt very contented. I started seeing more hallucinations at this point (or just perceving more in general?). Looked at the walls and I could see all sorts of Celtic knots, and carvings of Egyptian Gods all watching me. I remarked to N. that hallucainations have never scared me. Whenever I'm on a trip it's always people that scare me most, but everything else about the Earth is loving and friendly. I could understand why spirits from other dimensions would not want any contact with us whatsoever; we humans are one monsterous, terrifying species! I mentally apologized for the human condition.
Around midnight H., who I was staying with, called. Her movie had ended and she was on her way to pick me up, so I got up and tried to eat some more of the vegetarian Chili I'd had earlier (note: spicy Chili and mushrooms do NOT mix!) The trip was becoming less intense, thank god, and I could feel myself returning to my body more. I started feeling more of what I'd felt coming up, that running water and melting feeling. Taking mushrooms is like having a little taste of death. You start decomposing and getting eaten apart. Who could enjoy such a state? I was glad it was... almost... over.
H. and I said goodbye to N. and went back to her house, and went to bed immediately. I took a couple melatonin to sleep, but instead it made me trip harder!! I lay on the couch and saw the most amazing things. I saw fractals in the air, which turned into intertwining Celtic knots (now I know where the Celts got their imagery from!), and flowers grew and blossomed out of the couch. But the most amazing thing I saw were three carvings of Egyptian gods. They were surrounded by vines, and were glowing white, and streams of white light came out of their mouths and circled into the livingroom. I listened hard and could hear low humming and it was so, so peaceful.. I also started having a few flashbacks of early childhood, possibly past life memories, before I was lulled to sleep.
On Friday evening, I went over to N.'s place and we chilled for a while. I had brought along my mushrooms, and after about an hour of just hanging around I decided to take them since it was such a good situation. I made some kava tea because of it's calming properties, then chewed up about half an eighth (it tasted good!). We then headed out to the playground! The mushrooms started to hit just as we crossed the street to use the bathroom at the supermarket, and I had a good time inside pretending to be normal, giggling a lot.. An interesting feeling, like tingling and melting. It intensified when we reached the playground and climbed up on this concrete dinosaur sculpture, and i started feeling like there was running water inside of me. The whole scene started looking weird and cartoonish, and I started seeing "everything at once". We had to meet our friends, so started heading back. I started feeling like I was dripping, and suddenly got the horrible feeling that I'd lost bladder control (I hadn't, thank god, it's just a trick that mushrooms like to play). I was so paranoid and embarrassed, I took off my hoodie and tied it around my waist and started walking faster. N. started doing accents and it was funny, but scary, especially since he looked like Donald Duck or some similar cartoon character. When he started walking like a cartoon, I almost started screaming.
We got back to the house, met R. and L., and I informed them that I was seeing fractals. I then made a rush to the bathroom and found that I was physically just fine, totally normal, except for my pupils of course. Relief! We all went outside and had a cigarette, and I mostly stayed quiet as I was losing the ability to speak or even keep track of the conversation. I was seeing tracers, the air was shimmering, energy was really intense and I couldn't even stand N.'s reiki and shoulder massage for long. L. and R. had to leave soon after that, much to my relief even though R. was a good friend of mine.. I was starting to feel too intense and I realized these things were really, REALLY potent. After they left, I asked for some more kava tea, and then told N. that I had to explore his yard.
I followed the path around, until I was hidden by a bunch of tall grass, and then I totally lost it. N. called to me to ask what he should put in my tea, and I replied, "I don't care... anything... um, I have to stay out here, I'll be back to Earth later... goodbye.." I started seeing everything as interconnected vines, the grass was glowing bright green and it was singing to me. I started talking to the Earth and asking how I could heal it. I started crying, but really strange crying, it felt like something was pouring water into me and now it was pouring out of me, and I felt hands on my head that were not human hands. N. brought out the tea, and a tissue, and just stayed quiet. He had taken a couple stems of my 1/8th and was starting to feel it a little. I had lost the ability to speak, but managed to gasp out a few sentances here and there, things like "I'm so glad to be a part of the Earth" and "You have people running around inside of you". Unfortunately I still had enough ego to be embarrassed, so it was hard to make a connection with him. I finally forced myself to ask him for reiki, and reached my hand out to him, and it was just beautiful.. reconnecting. I could see a red glowing aura around our hands, along with the flowing green glow of the grass beside us.
We sat outside for about an hour or two, then N. wanted to go inside, but I really wanted to stay outside. I started feeling this whole ego conflict that went like this: I want to stay outside, but N. wants to stay inside, but I don't want to leave him alone, but I really need to stay outside, but I'm a guest in his house and can't just be alone in his backyard, but I won't feel right inside... and so on. I finally managed to compromise. We stayed outside for about half an hour more, and then I requested that we go inside (I was starting to feel a teeny bit cold, too). I told the Earth my reasons and made sure to be firm about it. And suddenly, while I was washing my hands inside, I realized that I felt perfectly okay with being where I was. I was at peace.
N. and I put on some soft oriental type music, dimmed the lights, then I did reiki on him for about an hour or maybe more. It felt SO good to give!! I felt huge and powerful with energy, and I couldn't give it away fast enough. I also had a strange perception of my body -- it seemed huge, and bloated and fat, and I almost started crying again because I felt so huge and fat (really strange for me, I've never had that particular issue). Then after a while I realized that it was my psyche and energy that was huge, and I was just projecting it onto my body. I realized that my problem was not that I wasn't powerful enough, I was TOO powerful, almost dangerously so, and turning it in on myself and making myself sick.
And unfortunately, that was about the time I started realizing how sick I had been feeling for a while. I drank some water, but it hurt, I tried to throw up, but that hurt too. Every damn thing hurt, and after a while I had to quit giving reiki to N. and lay down flat and move as little as possible. N. did reiki on me for a long time, and balanced my chakras, which made me feel better mentally if not physically. We talked for a long time about stuff, very calmly, worked some things out and it was good. If I hadn't been so physically unwell I would have felt very contented. I started seeing more hallucinations at this point (or just perceving more in general?). Looked at the walls and I could see all sorts of Celtic knots, and carvings of Egyptian Gods all watching me. I remarked to N. that hallucainations have never scared me. Whenever I'm on a trip it's always people that scare me most, but everything else about the Earth is loving and friendly. I could understand why spirits from other dimensions would not want any contact with us whatsoever; we humans are one monsterous, terrifying species! I mentally apologized for the human condition.
Around midnight H., who I was staying with, called. Her movie had ended and she was on her way to pick me up, so I got up and tried to eat some more of the vegetarian Chili I'd had earlier (note: spicy Chili and mushrooms do NOT mix!) The trip was becoming less intense, thank god, and I could feel myself returning to my body more. I started feeling more of what I'd felt coming up, that running water and melting feeling. Taking mushrooms is like having a little taste of death. You start decomposing and getting eaten apart. Who could enjoy such a state? I was glad it was... almost... over.
H. and I said goodbye to N. and went back to her house, and went to bed immediately. I took a couple melatonin to sleep, but instead it made me trip harder!! I lay on the couch and saw the most amazing things. I saw fractals in the air, which turned into intertwining Celtic knots (now I know where the Celts got their imagery from!), and flowers grew and blossomed out of the couch. But the most amazing thing I saw were three carvings of Egyptian gods. They were surrounded by vines, and were glowing white, and streams of white light came out of their mouths and circled into the livingroom. I listened hard and could hear low humming and it was so, so peaceful.. I also started having a few flashbacks of early childhood, possibly past life memories, before I was lulled to sleep.
