webbykevin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2010
- Messages
- 1,719
I have had my metaphysical spanking for the year.
I fucked up, I take full responsibility for why this exprience went left in a big way and ended up being one of the longest nights of my life.
It was news years eve, I had the house to myself, I had decided that a really cool way to see in 2012 would be in the company of the Mushroom, I thought it would be a great conversation starter and seeing as old terrence had placed so much energy and passion into his timewave zero project and the mushroom had been a driving force in some of his original ideas I figured what better guest to have for the eve of the start of this much talked about year.
I had planned on dosing at about 11.15, I was going to powder the shrooms and lemon tek them and from last experience doing this the first wave seemed to hit a bit quicker than if I just chew em up, So i was trying to time it for bang on midnight.
I walked out into the kitchen and could here a really loud party going on in a house across the street, hmmm not the best scenario, I had also been listening to the cops on an online scanner and they were all having a full on night dealing with the extreems of a new years eve shift and I kinda got infected a bit by the adrenaline of so some of the calls as the cops all rushed around breaking up fights, dealing with domestics and herding large groups of drunken teenagers around the beaches parks and parking lots of the district.
So I got the vibe and thought this is not a quiet ordinary night, lots of things could happen that could disturb you and fuck this all up, PERHAPS I HAD BETTER LEAVE IT FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.
Intuition is a powerfull tool, ignore it at your peril.
I knew at that point right then that I had to really make that choice, trust my instinct, but it was new years eve, I had been really looking forward to this, now I was facing the prospect of watching the fireworks on tv at midnight like a total looser lol, a sad lonely figure, billy no mates, I certainly didnt want that to happen, I had enough pot for 5 big joints, and they were all pre rolled and ready to go, that would be one alternative i thought, I could smoke 2 of those really quickly and lie down in darkness and have vegatable tv to watch instead, but somehow that didn't seem enough, I was planning a psychedelic journey and I really wanted it to happen as planned.
Thumping bass hit the house as the party over the road ramped it up a notch or six, they must have had a mini PA system cos it was louder than any home stereo could have managed, oh shit, I know someone is gonna get the cops called out if this goes on, I know it's not happening in my house and I could turn off all the lights and just watch the show but I have a golden rule when it comes to cops, one hint of them coming anywhere near me and I withdraw quietly to as far away from them as possible as fast as I can, So hmmmmm, this is a bit of a pickle, what was i to do?
I re weight the shrooms, it about 8 grams, hmmmm, I take out 2 grams and put them back in the jar, The remaining 6 grams still looks like a lot, I stand there for a good ten minutes, listening to the sounds outside and turning over and over in my mind, should I do this ?, the answer allways comes back clearly NO. Not tonight, it just all feels wrong.
I hit the button on the grinder and powder them, I squeez a lemon into a glass and add the shroom dust, jeez its thick and gloopy, looks a lot thicker than the 8 grams I has 2 weeks ago and that was a real out there ++++ experience, i cant possibly take all that, it would be madness I said to myself, I stared at the gloopy mess, i maybe should take half of it, then if its all cool in 2 hours take the rest, yeh thats a good plan, so I top up the glass with fresh orange juice pleased with my decision to be sensible at least even if I am ignoring my true intuition about this, then, and i have no idea why, I watched myself drink the whole lot down in one gulp.
Why the fuck did I just do that ? was my first thought, oh shit you are an idiot was my second thought,are there any benzos in the house was my third thought, yes there were about a dozen 2mg valliums on stanby in case i get back spasms, i have a bad back and sometimes iy just locks up and a couple a aunty vals just releases that muscular tension enough to be able to sleep, so I feel a bit reassured that I have some chemical ammunition to call on if I need to.
But i knew, I really did know right down in my soul that I had fucked up, and this was probably not going to be pretty.
Well too late for regrets now, I have to deal with the situation at hand, it's time to get serious, I go to the bedroom, light a candle and lie down, another party is now ramping up in the house directly behind ours and there is no way to kill the intrusion of the noise even with the window shut and the stereo on. OK music, I am going to need music, gentle soothing music, nothing trippy, maybe some classicle guitar, maybe some sitar, I line up a playlist on the lappy, hook it up to the stereo and turn on a couple more lights, I dont want silent darkness, i dont even want it to start, I'm totally kicking myself for what i've done, I consider taking a decent dose of the valiums to try and stand on it but I got this sudden funny feeling, like a voice in the head but not fully audible and it's stange because im not feeling any effects of the mushrooms yet, but the voice says," It's an insult to the Mushroom to take vallium now, you invoked this experience and now you want to turn it off, poor baby, well that's just so rude and disrespectfull".
Oh fuck, that's not what I wanted to hear, maybe I better have a joint, my shoulders are so tight, i'm clenching my whole upper torso, the anxiety is intense, and its building and turning into plain old fear, threatenening to blow into full panic, oh fuck, what to do? what to do ?
Too late, whammo the first wave hits like an express train, the lights in the room all get a lot dimmer, I have 2 immense yawns and my nose is now running like a tap, I'm still really tense, I'm doing this all wrong and i know it, fuck.......
Then I made what i consider to be the only good decision of the night so far, I have to take some valium to get this anxiety under control, just 3 x 2mg vals should I hope help me to relax and get out of this panic loop, I get them down with a glass of water and lie down on the bed, still no music, ok lets fire up ravi shankaar and have a bit of a slow bluesy evening raga, that starts to help a bit too, I force myself to just focus on the music and not on any of the mushroom effects, I just want this over, whoomp whoomp whoomp, what the hell is that, it's like someone banging a huge drum inside the carcass of a blue whale, what the fuck is happening, whoomp whoomp whoomp, the whole room is shaking, then I realise what it is, It's my heartbeat !, instantly both ears click at really high frequency, another huge yawn, waves of purple and red spots are filling every part of my vision, the rooms is slipping away, into the darkness that shouldn't be there.
Then it really went left....
I feel the vomit coming from really deep down, oh fuck, I have to make it to the sink, the bathroom is right next door but it feels like an impossible task to get there, everything is speeding up including the vomit moment, I stand up and my legs are a fucking mess to controll, I do manage to stumble to the bathroom and projectile vomit powdered mushrooms and OJ across the last 4 feet of space but I pretty much make it to the sink at the same time the vomit does, I cant stand up now, the legs have gone, I hear billy connolys voice from some old show ive seen where he is describing a drunk, he shouts out "The legs have gone, the legs have gone !" It's definately billy and I can hear the audience laughing, but now more gagging, more vomit, dry heaving, knots forming in my stomach and throat, fuck, fuck, this is not good.
I make it back onto the bed, roll over and start gagging and purging again, the floor is going to have to do for this one, fuck going back into the bathroom whilst billy is performing on stage in there, what ?? what am i saying, puuuuuurge, oh shit this hurts bad, now I get this sharp flash of deep pain in my knee joints and my elbow joints, total agony, fucking hell, the ego is screaming at me, you've done it this time, you're dying, you are going to die here alone on the first day of 2012, shut the fuck up I say, I'm not dying and you know it, you are the one thats dying.
It;s the egos last stand, the dying thing, it knows that it is seconds away from irrelevance, obliteration as a valid concept, it hates this moment, It happens in meditation too, not the dying thing but if you ignore the ego mind it goes mad.
Too late for all that nonsense, the mushroom is now fully here, I roll onto my back, cover my face with my hands and apologise. "Im sorry, this is a mistake, I fucked up, please don't burn me man, please, I just want a nice safe pleasant gentle experience, I am not up for a huge ride, I'm sick"
Well that did it, the moment I said "I'm sick" the mushroom spoke, (I have never heard anger or condemnation from the mushroom before , it's always been like a wise old teacher) not this time fellow psychanaughts, the mushroom is pissed and it's not about to hold back on my account.
"YES YOU ARE SICK, NO HYPERSPACE FOR YOU TONIGHT< HAVE A LOOK AT YOURSELF"
I look down at my body, waves of pain flow over my, I;m burning up, I have a fever, oh shit, o roll onto my side and vomit over the side of the bed, oh jesus not more vomiting, I look at the laptop for the time, I can hardly see it, then the numbers grow 10 times larger on there own and lift off the screen and hang in the air in front of me, 00.12 2012, I here the mushroom again, distant but loud "HAPPY NEW YEAR EARTHLING" then my whole body spasms and feels like someone has thrown a huge heavy rug or blasnket over me that weighs 50 times more than it should, I cant move, the impression is that somethings are holding me down, I cant move my arms or straighten my legs, i throw my head back and force air into my lungs, a scream out into the space around me (the room is fading in and out of existance at this point) "I DONT WANT THIS, TAKE IT OFF ME".
A new voice, "who are you talking to ?"
"The Mushroom" I said, "who the hell are you ?"
"The mushroom has gone" says this new voice "Now its just you and me baby, poor baby" whammo, more intense pain at the elbows and knees, I am sweating hard, I decide it's time to assert myself and try and break this space wide open with some kind of new vibration, It took a lot of effort but I manage to push upwards agains the heavy layer of air/blanket/hands that are holding me down and I sit up... "FUCK YOU" I shout, "this is my reality and we will do things my way"
"You still haven't answered the question" says the voice,"who are you talking to, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO ?"
Hmmmm, OK lets try and figure this out, the mental effort directed at this question has totally distracted me from the pain waves for a moment, it's a doozy of a question, who the fuck am I actually talking to ?
Then I know, i dont know how I know but I just know, and this is where is gets very weird, I'm am talking to my physical body, and it has my full attention now, holy shit, this is new, "What the fuck is going on ?" I say out loud, "You have had this coming for a while" says the body "All this ego death, mindfullness, meditation and psychedelic travelling you have been doing, you didn;t want to know about the body then did you, oh no, couldn;y wait to get disconbobulated for physical reality, the body represents to you a trap, a prison for the soul in 3d space, you try and escape it, shut it out, you really want to die ? you really enjoy hyperspace that much, fuck you, I carry you, I am you, I exist right now, in the eternal now, I am a part of the whole picture, you cant escpape, you treat me with total distain, like shit, you feed me crap, you ignore all my ettempts a communicationg with you through feeling and you dont want me around for your so called mystical experiences, well fuck you, I am here, I am you, get fucking used to it, deal with it".
bang waves of tension, I am shivvering, teeth chattering, it's very very cold, but my forhead is still burning up,
I feel like I have just had a really bad flu for a couple of weeks and am just in the first stages of remission, I feel like I did when i was 7 years old and had the measles, I see my mum staring down at me as a sick child, I see my father sitting on the edge of the bed trying to get me to sit up and play a game of dominoes with him to make me feel better, i feel the way i did after I had the mumps, I feel the flu recovery shuddering back again, my whole body is reliving every experience of sickness and illness it has had to experience in my lifetime, and its running through the most intense parts of these experiences with a total immersion, the feeling, the energy drain, the pain, the hopelessness, the sadness it's all flowing through me, I dont have any answers now, it's just a total physical experience, nothing trippy about it, I grit my teeth, "OK OK I GET IT, I know who you are, and you are right, I have been ignoring you, and I'm sorry I always want you to be the first thing to fuck off when I approach hyperspace, i didn't realise there was any other way"
I felt the energy shift, the intensisty of the whole universe just lifted a little and got lighter, I manage to prop myself up on one elbow and get a joint in my mouth, Oh thank god, the first waves of THC effects flow down my throat and into my chest, muscles are untensing, the fog is lifting, the pain is dissapearing really fast, I glance up at the room around me and it is totally overlaid with a green film, the godess is here, thank fuck.
I need fluid, water, nothing else, but i need water, and 2 more of those fucking valiums, I have had enough of this now, I look at the clock, its almost 3 hours since I dosed, wow, where did that last 2 hours go, 00.12 2012 seems eons away now but before I looked at the clock and saw it was after 2am I was cinvinced that everything that had just happened had taken about 45 minutes to an hour tops.
I feel physically fucked, I drop 4 valiums and furiously smoke the rest of the joint and then quickly light and suck down another one as fast as i can.
Ravi shankar has finished his raga hours ago and i can start to hear insect and bat and bird noises in the garden outside, everything is stabilizing, I'm fucked, i feel like I've just been through a near death experience or something, I'm shredded on many levels and i have much to think about now.
the valiums (bless there little hearts) really do seem to be standing on it all now, I can feel my eyes getting heavy, I have 3 yawns and i know that the last 2 of them were just tiredness yaawns not psilocibin side effects, I am totally shot, I'm going to shut down, I dont want dreams, I dont want any more waves, i dont even wanna say goodbye to the mushroom, but then, I see really clearly that I have been given a gift, i have been shown something profound, and i have a sudden rush of warmth as i feel the old familiar wrapping around hug that hyperspace gives you, I know the mushroom is satisfied, i have got the message, and i have learned a lesson, and he is now not going to be an asshole about it and labour the point.
I felt him leave as quickly as he usually arrives, the room is still, i hit the power switch and every electrical device shuts off at teh same time, darkness falls, consciousness fades, I'm in deep sleep.
That my friends, was a new years eve i will NEVER forget.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_negative
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
I fucked up, I take full responsibility for why this exprience went left in a big way and ended up being one of the longest nights of my life.
It was news years eve, I had the house to myself, I had decided that a really cool way to see in 2012 would be in the company of the Mushroom, I thought it would be a great conversation starter and seeing as old terrence had placed so much energy and passion into his timewave zero project and the mushroom had been a driving force in some of his original ideas I figured what better guest to have for the eve of the start of this much talked about year.
I had planned on dosing at about 11.15, I was going to powder the shrooms and lemon tek them and from last experience doing this the first wave seemed to hit a bit quicker than if I just chew em up, So i was trying to time it for bang on midnight.
I walked out into the kitchen and could here a really loud party going on in a house across the street, hmmm not the best scenario, I had also been listening to the cops on an online scanner and they were all having a full on night dealing with the extreems of a new years eve shift and I kinda got infected a bit by the adrenaline of so some of the calls as the cops all rushed around breaking up fights, dealing with domestics and herding large groups of drunken teenagers around the beaches parks and parking lots of the district.
So I got the vibe and thought this is not a quiet ordinary night, lots of things could happen that could disturb you and fuck this all up, PERHAPS I HAD BETTER LEAVE IT FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.
Intuition is a powerfull tool, ignore it at your peril.
I knew at that point right then that I had to really make that choice, trust my instinct, but it was new years eve, I had been really looking forward to this, now I was facing the prospect of watching the fireworks on tv at midnight like a total looser lol, a sad lonely figure, billy no mates, I certainly didnt want that to happen, I had enough pot for 5 big joints, and they were all pre rolled and ready to go, that would be one alternative i thought, I could smoke 2 of those really quickly and lie down in darkness and have vegatable tv to watch instead, but somehow that didn't seem enough, I was planning a psychedelic journey and I really wanted it to happen as planned.
Thumping bass hit the house as the party over the road ramped it up a notch or six, they must have had a mini PA system cos it was louder than any home stereo could have managed, oh shit, I know someone is gonna get the cops called out if this goes on, I know it's not happening in my house and I could turn off all the lights and just watch the show but I have a golden rule when it comes to cops, one hint of them coming anywhere near me and I withdraw quietly to as far away from them as possible as fast as I can, So hmmmmm, this is a bit of a pickle, what was i to do?
I re weight the shrooms, it about 8 grams, hmmmm, I take out 2 grams and put them back in the jar, The remaining 6 grams still looks like a lot, I stand there for a good ten minutes, listening to the sounds outside and turning over and over in my mind, should I do this ?, the answer allways comes back clearly NO. Not tonight, it just all feels wrong.
I hit the button on the grinder and powder them, I squeez a lemon into a glass and add the shroom dust, jeez its thick and gloopy, looks a lot thicker than the 8 grams I has 2 weeks ago and that was a real out there ++++ experience, i cant possibly take all that, it would be madness I said to myself, I stared at the gloopy mess, i maybe should take half of it, then if its all cool in 2 hours take the rest, yeh thats a good plan, so I top up the glass with fresh orange juice pleased with my decision to be sensible at least even if I am ignoring my true intuition about this, then, and i have no idea why, I watched myself drink the whole lot down in one gulp.
Why the fuck did I just do that ? was my first thought, oh shit you are an idiot was my second thought,are there any benzos in the house was my third thought, yes there were about a dozen 2mg valliums on stanby in case i get back spasms, i have a bad back and sometimes iy just locks up and a couple a aunty vals just releases that muscular tension enough to be able to sleep, so I feel a bit reassured that I have some chemical ammunition to call on if I need to.
But i knew, I really did know right down in my soul that I had fucked up, and this was probably not going to be pretty.
Well too late for regrets now, I have to deal with the situation at hand, it's time to get serious, I go to the bedroom, light a candle and lie down, another party is now ramping up in the house directly behind ours and there is no way to kill the intrusion of the noise even with the window shut and the stereo on. OK music, I am going to need music, gentle soothing music, nothing trippy, maybe some classicle guitar, maybe some sitar, I line up a playlist on the lappy, hook it up to the stereo and turn on a couple more lights, I dont want silent darkness, i dont even want it to start, I'm totally kicking myself for what i've done, I consider taking a decent dose of the valiums to try and stand on it but I got this sudden funny feeling, like a voice in the head but not fully audible and it's stange because im not feeling any effects of the mushrooms yet, but the voice says," It's an insult to the Mushroom to take vallium now, you invoked this experience and now you want to turn it off, poor baby, well that's just so rude and disrespectfull".
Oh fuck, that's not what I wanted to hear, maybe I better have a joint, my shoulders are so tight, i'm clenching my whole upper torso, the anxiety is intense, and its building and turning into plain old fear, threatenening to blow into full panic, oh fuck, what to do? what to do ?
Too late, whammo the first wave hits like an express train, the lights in the room all get a lot dimmer, I have 2 immense yawns and my nose is now running like a tap, I'm still really tense, I'm doing this all wrong and i know it, fuck.......
Then I made what i consider to be the only good decision of the night so far, I have to take some valium to get this anxiety under control, just 3 x 2mg vals should I hope help me to relax and get out of this panic loop, I get them down with a glass of water and lie down on the bed, still no music, ok lets fire up ravi shankaar and have a bit of a slow bluesy evening raga, that starts to help a bit too, I force myself to just focus on the music and not on any of the mushroom effects, I just want this over, whoomp whoomp whoomp, what the hell is that, it's like someone banging a huge drum inside the carcass of a blue whale, what the fuck is happening, whoomp whoomp whoomp, the whole room is shaking, then I realise what it is, It's my heartbeat !, instantly both ears click at really high frequency, another huge yawn, waves of purple and red spots are filling every part of my vision, the rooms is slipping away, into the darkness that shouldn't be there.
Then it really went left....
I feel the vomit coming from really deep down, oh fuck, I have to make it to the sink, the bathroom is right next door but it feels like an impossible task to get there, everything is speeding up including the vomit moment, I stand up and my legs are a fucking mess to controll, I do manage to stumble to the bathroom and projectile vomit powdered mushrooms and OJ across the last 4 feet of space but I pretty much make it to the sink at the same time the vomit does, I cant stand up now, the legs have gone, I hear billy connolys voice from some old show ive seen where he is describing a drunk, he shouts out "The legs have gone, the legs have gone !" It's definately billy and I can hear the audience laughing, but now more gagging, more vomit, dry heaving, knots forming in my stomach and throat, fuck, fuck, this is not good.
I make it back onto the bed, roll over and start gagging and purging again, the floor is going to have to do for this one, fuck going back into the bathroom whilst billy is performing on stage in there, what ?? what am i saying, puuuuuurge, oh shit this hurts bad, now I get this sharp flash of deep pain in my knee joints and my elbow joints, total agony, fucking hell, the ego is screaming at me, you've done it this time, you're dying, you are going to die here alone on the first day of 2012, shut the fuck up I say, I'm not dying and you know it, you are the one thats dying.
It;s the egos last stand, the dying thing, it knows that it is seconds away from irrelevance, obliteration as a valid concept, it hates this moment, It happens in meditation too, not the dying thing but if you ignore the ego mind it goes mad.
Too late for all that nonsense, the mushroom is now fully here, I roll onto my back, cover my face with my hands and apologise. "Im sorry, this is a mistake, I fucked up, please don't burn me man, please, I just want a nice safe pleasant gentle experience, I am not up for a huge ride, I'm sick"
Well that did it, the moment I said "I'm sick" the mushroom spoke, (I have never heard anger or condemnation from the mushroom before , it's always been like a wise old teacher) not this time fellow psychanaughts, the mushroom is pissed and it's not about to hold back on my account.
"YES YOU ARE SICK, NO HYPERSPACE FOR YOU TONIGHT< HAVE A LOOK AT YOURSELF"
I look down at my body, waves of pain flow over my, I;m burning up, I have a fever, oh shit, o roll onto my side and vomit over the side of the bed, oh jesus not more vomiting, I look at the laptop for the time, I can hardly see it, then the numbers grow 10 times larger on there own and lift off the screen and hang in the air in front of me, 00.12 2012, I here the mushroom again, distant but loud "HAPPY NEW YEAR EARTHLING" then my whole body spasms and feels like someone has thrown a huge heavy rug or blasnket over me that weighs 50 times more than it should, I cant move, the impression is that somethings are holding me down, I cant move my arms or straighten my legs, i throw my head back and force air into my lungs, a scream out into the space around me (the room is fading in and out of existance at this point) "I DONT WANT THIS, TAKE IT OFF ME".
A new voice, "who are you talking to ?"
"The Mushroom" I said, "who the hell are you ?"
"The mushroom has gone" says this new voice "Now its just you and me baby, poor baby" whammo, more intense pain at the elbows and knees, I am sweating hard, I decide it's time to assert myself and try and break this space wide open with some kind of new vibration, It took a lot of effort but I manage to push upwards agains the heavy layer of air/blanket/hands that are holding me down and I sit up... "FUCK YOU" I shout, "this is my reality and we will do things my way"
"You still haven't answered the question" says the voice,"who are you talking to, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO ?"
Hmmmm, OK lets try and figure this out, the mental effort directed at this question has totally distracted me from the pain waves for a moment, it's a doozy of a question, who the fuck am I actually talking to ?
Then I know, i dont know how I know but I just know, and this is where is gets very weird, I'm am talking to my physical body, and it has my full attention now, holy shit, this is new, "What the fuck is going on ?" I say out loud, "You have had this coming for a while" says the body "All this ego death, mindfullness, meditation and psychedelic travelling you have been doing, you didn;t want to know about the body then did you, oh no, couldn;y wait to get disconbobulated for physical reality, the body represents to you a trap, a prison for the soul in 3d space, you try and escape it, shut it out, you really want to die ? you really enjoy hyperspace that much, fuck you, I carry you, I am you, I exist right now, in the eternal now, I am a part of the whole picture, you cant escpape, you treat me with total distain, like shit, you feed me crap, you ignore all my ettempts a communicationg with you through feeling and you dont want me around for your so called mystical experiences, well fuck you, I am here, I am you, get fucking used to it, deal with it".
bang waves of tension, I am shivvering, teeth chattering, it's very very cold, but my forhead is still burning up,
I feel like I have just had a really bad flu for a couple of weeks and am just in the first stages of remission, I feel like I did when i was 7 years old and had the measles, I see my mum staring down at me as a sick child, I see my father sitting on the edge of the bed trying to get me to sit up and play a game of dominoes with him to make me feel better, i feel the way i did after I had the mumps, I feel the flu recovery shuddering back again, my whole body is reliving every experience of sickness and illness it has had to experience in my lifetime, and its running through the most intense parts of these experiences with a total immersion, the feeling, the energy drain, the pain, the hopelessness, the sadness it's all flowing through me, I dont have any answers now, it's just a total physical experience, nothing trippy about it, I grit my teeth, "OK OK I GET IT, I know who you are, and you are right, I have been ignoring you, and I'm sorry I always want you to be the first thing to fuck off when I approach hyperspace, i didn't realise there was any other way"
I felt the energy shift, the intensisty of the whole universe just lifted a little and got lighter, I manage to prop myself up on one elbow and get a joint in my mouth, Oh thank god, the first waves of THC effects flow down my throat and into my chest, muscles are untensing, the fog is lifting, the pain is dissapearing really fast, I glance up at the room around me and it is totally overlaid with a green film, the godess is here, thank fuck.
I need fluid, water, nothing else, but i need water, and 2 more of those fucking valiums, I have had enough of this now, I look at the clock, its almost 3 hours since I dosed, wow, where did that last 2 hours go, 00.12 2012 seems eons away now but before I looked at the clock and saw it was after 2am I was cinvinced that everything that had just happened had taken about 45 minutes to an hour tops.
I feel physically fucked, I drop 4 valiums and furiously smoke the rest of the joint and then quickly light and suck down another one as fast as i can.
Ravi shankar has finished his raga hours ago and i can start to hear insect and bat and bird noises in the garden outside, everything is stabilizing, I'm fucked, i feel like I've just been through a near death experience or something, I'm shredded on many levels and i have much to think about now.
the valiums (bless there little hearts) really do seem to be standing on it all now, I can feel my eyes getting heavy, I have 3 yawns and i know that the last 2 of them were just tiredness yaawns not psilocibin side effects, I am totally shot, I'm going to shut down, I dont want dreams, I dont want any more waves, i dont even wanna say goodbye to the mushroom, but then, I see really clearly that I have been given a gift, i have been shown something profound, and i have a sudden rush of warmth as i feel the old familiar wrapping around hug that hyperspace gives you, I know the mushroom is satisfied, i have got the message, and i have learned a lesson, and he is now not going to be an asshole about it and labour the point.
I felt him leave as quickly as he usually arrives, the room is still, i hit the power switch and every electrical device shuts off at teh same time, darkness falls, consciousness fades, I'm in deep sleep.
That my friends, was a new years eve i will NEVER forget.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_negative
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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