Dok Holidae
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2005
- Messages
- 1
Trip - Entity (or ego) Talking to me
After a failed attempt at magic mushrooms for the first time a few months ago, I was presented a second chance to see the power of the magic mushroom. My two friends decided they wanted to do it at 1 in the morning, while I tried to explain the logic of taking it during the day instead of the night. I was subjected to a coin toss to whether I would join them or not, and I lost. I did not really mind losing the coin toss because I was still curious about the concept of tripping. All of us then proceeded to take an eighth of dried mushrooms, and after taking the mushrooms, I decided to play a game until the effects started to kick in. My friends proceeded to watch a movie.
I began to feel like regurgitating during the last twenty minutes of the hour, and I quit playing the game and went downstairs with a garbage bag just in case I really did vomit. My friends were sitting back on the couch, watching "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (not the cartoon, the movie) and I sat back too, waiting for the effects. All of a sudden, colors started to pour out of the television, in a swaying, wavelike pattern. The room was dark, but colors of blue, green, red, purple, amongst others, were drawing a line towards me in a dancing ray-like manner. I found it awesome, then went upstairs to see my mind-distorting posters. Needless to say, I had a completely different perspective of the poster than what I saw while sober. It was good eye-candy, and then I wondered what else I could do.
At this point, I asked my friends if they were tripping. At this time, it is about two hours after consumption, and one of my friends said he felt nothing. Perhaps he had a resistance to magic mushrooms at this time, so I felt bad that he was not tripping. My other friend was tripping like hell, saying he saw a lot of visuals. He even said my hair was orange. Well, I was glad for him, but for the non-tripping friend, I gave him some pot so that he would still enjoy an element of an alternated reality that I was so obviously into. After he smoked, he went back to watching the movie along with my other tripping friend, and I went upstairs around the place to see what else I could do while under the effects of mushrooms.
By the third hour of the trip, I was really curious about seeing myself in the mirror. I was partly scared because I did not want to see myself and what I was doing, but being a reckless fool not knowing what would happen, I took a brave stand and stared at the mirror at... what I thought was myself. To my surprise, I was not really looking at myself, but in a sense, I was looking through the eyes of an entity manipulating myself. The entity often thought, "Look at him smile..." and made my physical being smile. I suddenly sat down, and tried to comprehend what just happened. Was there another being beginning to come out in the corners of my mind, or was it a figment of my imagination reinforced by the magic mushrooms?
Afterwards, I sat down by my computer and chatted with an experienced friend about the trip. I explained to him what was happening, and he brought up the idea of ego, that it could be coming out to speak if it wasn't out already. At this point, my confusion lessened, because I could feel two beings. Again, this could be my imagination at work, but I could feel a struggle between this entity in my head, and my physical being.
This entity told me a lot of things related to life and myself. It wished to see me move on to the finer things of life, while my physical being struggled to stay sane and disbelieved what it was saying, but at the same time wished to listen more. At this time, my friend mentioned not to let the ego talk but I felt that would not be worth the experience if I did not let it talk.
There are a lot of things the entity has told me it wished for me to do. What it asked me defies my morals and society's ethics. It told me to break relationships/friendships with certain people because they were not worth keeping. My physical being flatly rejected this idea. The entity then explained about happiness, and if I wanted to obtain it, this is what I might have to do. My physical being did not really like some aspects of it because what the entity told me I had to do would hurt a few people's feelings along the way. In a sense, I realized that this entity, this ego, did not have a sense of morals, and did not care for other people except itself. It desires gratification and wanted me to go out on a limb to get it, while my physical being desires to leave the way things are, with peoples feelings undisturbed.
The entity then said I was merely waiting for something that will never happen. In a sense, the entity was telling me what it thought of my physical being, and that it was not very happy. I began to wonder if this was the real me that was backed into a corner because my physical being was unwilling to make changes.
My trip began to end, and the entity was disappointed because it knew it would be gone, and I would regain control of myself. I felt back to normal, albeit a bit disoriented, by six in the morning. I was glad that it was almost over because I saw the emotional damage of what my entity has done which was unmentioned in this report because it is something I would prefer not to go into detail.
There are so many elements that I learned from this trip, but I do not know what/how to make of it yet. Its like I am handed a vast amount of information, and I am not sure how to make use of it for my life. Another thing is whether all this was real, or a conjured element of my imagination that liked to go wild. Either way, I learned what a trip was like and all I can say is that mushrooms are a powerful teaching tool, and it is up to us whether we want to learn something from it or just enjoy the ride, preferably with an extent of control over oneself.
-----------
Hope you enjoyed this report. Opinions are welcome! (Oh yeah, and this is my first post... I don't post often but I thought people would appreciate a report.)
- Dok Holidae
After a failed attempt at magic mushrooms for the first time a few months ago, I was presented a second chance to see the power of the magic mushroom. My two friends decided they wanted to do it at 1 in the morning, while I tried to explain the logic of taking it during the day instead of the night. I was subjected to a coin toss to whether I would join them or not, and I lost. I did not really mind losing the coin toss because I was still curious about the concept of tripping. All of us then proceeded to take an eighth of dried mushrooms, and after taking the mushrooms, I decided to play a game until the effects started to kick in. My friends proceeded to watch a movie.
I began to feel like regurgitating during the last twenty minutes of the hour, and I quit playing the game and went downstairs with a garbage bag just in case I really did vomit. My friends were sitting back on the couch, watching "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (not the cartoon, the movie) and I sat back too, waiting for the effects. All of a sudden, colors started to pour out of the television, in a swaying, wavelike pattern. The room was dark, but colors of blue, green, red, purple, amongst others, were drawing a line towards me in a dancing ray-like manner. I found it awesome, then went upstairs to see my mind-distorting posters. Needless to say, I had a completely different perspective of the poster than what I saw while sober. It was good eye-candy, and then I wondered what else I could do.
At this point, I asked my friends if they were tripping. At this time, it is about two hours after consumption, and one of my friends said he felt nothing. Perhaps he had a resistance to magic mushrooms at this time, so I felt bad that he was not tripping. My other friend was tripping like hell, saying he saw a lot of visuals. He even said my hair was orange. Well, I was glad for him, but for the non-tripping friend, I gave him some pot so that he would still enjoy an element of an alternated reality that I was so obviously into. After he smoked, he went back to watching the movie along with my other tripping friend, and I went upstairs around the place to see what else I could do while under the effects of mushrooms.
By the third hour of the trip, I was really curious about seeing myself in the mirror. I was partly scared because I did not want to see myself and what I was doing, but being a reckless fool not knowing what would happen, I took a brave stand and stared at the mirror at... what I thought was myself. To my surprise, I was not really looking at myself, but in a sense, I was looking through the eyes of an entity manipulating myself. The entity often thought, "Look at him smile..." and made my physical being smile. I suddenly sat down, and tried to comprehend what just happened. Was there another being beginning to come out in the corners of my mind, or was it a figment of my imagination reinforced by the magic mushrooms?
Afterwards, I sat down by my computer and chatted with an experienced friend about the trip. I explained to him what was happening, and he brought up the idea of ego, that it could be coming out to speak if it wasn't out already. At this point, my confusion lessened, because I could feel two beings. Again, this could be my imagination at work, but I could feel a struggle between this entity in my head, and my physical being.
This entity told me a lot of things related to life and myself. It wished to see me move on to the finer things of life, while my physical being struggled to stay sane and disbelieved what it was saying, but at the same time wished to listen more. At this time, my friend mentioned not to let the ego talk but I felt that would not be worth the experience if I did not let it talk.
There are a lot of things the entity has told me it wished for me to do. What it asked me defies my morals and society's ethics. It told me to break relationships/friendships with certain people because they were not worth keeping. My physical being flatly rejected this idea. The entity then explained about happiness, and if I wanted to obtain it, this is what I might have to do. My physical being did not really like some aspects of it because what the entity told me I had to do would hurt a few people's feelings along the way. In a sense, I realized that this entity, this ego, did not have a sense of morals, and did not care for other people except itself. It desires gratification and wanted me to go out on a limb to get it, while my physical being desires to leave the way things are, with peoples feelings undisturbed.
The entity then said I was merely waiting for something that will never happen. In a sense, the entity was telling me what it thought of my physical being, and that it was not very happy. I began to wonder if this was the real me that was backed into a corner because my physical being was unwilling to make changes.
My trip began to end, and the entity was disappointed because it knew it would be gone, and I would regain control of myself. I felt back to normal, albeit a bit disoriented, by six in the morning. I was glad that it was almost over because I saw the emotional damage of what my entity has done which was unmentioned in this report because it is something I would prefer not to go into detail.
There are so many elements that I learned from this trip, but I do not know what/how to make of it yet. Its like I am handed a vast amount of information, and I am not sure how to make use of it for my life. Another thing is whether all this was real, or a conjured element of my imagination that liked to go wild. Either way, I learned what a trip was like and all I can say is that mushrooms are a powerful teaching tool, and it is up to us whether we want to learn something from it or just enjoy the ride, preferably with an extent of control over oneself.
-----------
Hope you enjoyed this report. Opinions are welcome! (Oh yeah, and this is my first post... I don't post often but I thought people would appreciate a report.)
- Dok Holidae
