beardedadventurer
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2008
- Messages
- 51
This is my first trip report here on bluelight.
I'm a 21 year old male in college around 220 pounds and 5'9". I'm introspective but also greatly enjoy company and social situations. My interests are vast in number and I always strive to explore and analyze not only the world around me but my own mind. I guess I could describe myself as an atheist but only to imply that I don't think a God exists, not to say that I preach it. I think religion puts as much good into this world as it does harm.
I had wanted to try mushrooms for nearly a year. I have been smoking cannabis for 3 years now but have basically no experience with psychedelics.
This is only my second experience with psychedelic mushrooms.
The first happened last Saturday at a friend?€™s house and was sort of preparation for this second experience.
We had been planning on spending the 4th together for a month or so. We being myself, my roommate, his girlfriend, his brother who didn't dose, another female friend and a really good friend whom I have known since junior high who had tried mushrooms before but also wouldn't be dosing with us. He also was letting us stay at his place over the weekend. We were going to be attending a concert in which we planned to drop 1 to 1.5 grams. My friend who was letting us stay over had to work and wouldn't be joining us till later.
T+0:00
My roommate and I both ingested 1.5 grams orally on a relatively empty stomach around 9 pm and we began to walk to the concert. The two girls with us were arriving at the concert later and took their mushrooms in tea about the same time. Nothing could have prepared me for the oncoming experience.
T+30
By this time me, my roommate and his brother were standing outside the venue waiting for friends to arrive. At this time I could definitely feel myself coming up as my legs began to feel loose and colors became more vibrant. We walked into the concert a few minutes later and sat down in the back. (The venue was outside) As we waited for the headliner to start I was coming up even more and enjoying myself. The only downside was I felt the people around me were judging me. (I don't recommend tripping in a public place unless you have much experience with psychedelics) I managed to ignore it and soon the band came on.
T+~1:00
At this point I was tripping but not hard. I also began to lose a sense of time so times are somewhat estimated. My roommate and his girlfriend were sitting in front of me and his brother sat next to me. I lied down in the dirt and felt much better and more at ease. It was a clear night and the moon was hanging right in front of my view, but what was most fascinating to me was the wind blowing across the leaves on the trees around the venue. It appeared to ripple through them and I felt very calm watching it.
The band had started by now and the music felt beyond explanation. It seemed to permeate my body and the ground as I lay there with closed eyes listening. Even the dusty rocky ground beneath me felt amazing. I have always loved the outdoors and getting dirty so this was very spiritual to me, as if my body and the ground were one. The music helped to propel me even further into the trip as each note seemed to linger in the air and flow through my ears and into the ground. At some point I heard my roommate?€™s brother mention that another friend who we were staying with would be arriving soon, and this uplifted me greatly, even though he was not tripping with us.
I want to note that even though I was tripping at this point I was still able to communicate effectively with sober friends. After my other friend arrived he wished to go find a better view, and looking to try and alter my trip by changing settings I followed. We walked a little closer to the stage but at this point I was finding it difficult to stand, and after a few minutes I left and returned to lie down next to my roommate and his girlfriend. I lied down and closed my eyes and let the music take me over again and I remained that way for the rest of the concert. I thought about many things, but I was tripping hard now and can't recall what I thought about.
T+~2:00
We were leaving the concert and at this point I my trip was beginning to overwhelm me mentally. I wasn't seeing anything that wasn't there, but words were beginning to lose their meaning; as we walked to my friend?€™s car confusion began to set in. I swear I heard someone mention getting Mexican food, but when I asked if that's what we were doing, no one had said a word about it. My trip began to turn ill at this point but I wasn't aware bad it would get. After crossing multiple intersections we finally walked up to a gas station and tripping balls, I walked inside. After a moment standing there, I realized I didn't have any money and didn't know why I came in in the first place. I rushed out past a man who said something in Spanish to me that didn't sound pleasant. The three other people tripping were sitting outside and I was relieved to find them.
After a minute or so we continued on to my friend?€™s car. I heard my friend mention he parked in the ghetto and as we walked the area began to appear more and more unsettling. (I am in no way racist, but concern for your safety sets in when you're with a group of five other white people walking through a rough neighborhood after midnight). We finally reached my friends car (he was sober) and we packed in. Here is where reality began to slip away from me. I had no idea where we were within the city or any idea where we were going. I burped loudly and the girls in the back laughed "Was it funny because I burped?" I asked. But they told me that I didn't burp, but my roommates brother did (they were still tripping also, but I didn't realize that) this confused me even more. Now am I imagining things?
My friend asked me multiple times if I was okay to drive, and not seeing anything that wasn't there, I answered yes figuring I could find my way. The drive back to my car was fun, but strange. When someone asked me a question on whether I recognized a landmark I was able to look up and respond and even recall facts about some things, but I still didn't know where we were going or what was happening. All of a sudden we stopped and I realized we were at my car. I was still tripping but felt confident to drive (DO NOT drive under the influence of any psychedelic, I should have never done it and could have been arrested or killed)
I got out and realized no one was joining me, but it didn't shake me (very bad decision, I was tripping so hard I didn't realize that I was now tripping by myself)
I got in my car, started it, pulled away from the curb, and took off with ease. It was only 25 minutes or so to where we were staying and it was mostly highway driving to get there.
T+~2:30
After driving for a minute or so, I realized I didn't know where I was. Even though I was tripping balls my driving skills were intact. Soon I couldn't focus, thoughts were racing through my mind, before I could complete one I was on the next one, and had forgotten what I thought about a moment earlier. I told myself to focus and find the highway, but I couldn't. I saw street names and recognized them, but my cognitive ability to analyze and act was completely diminished. I drove around the city for what seemed a long time but to no avail.
Finally I called my friend who was driving the others back, and asked him to help me find the highway, but his words sounded like a recording. He asked me where I was, but I didn't know, then I saw something I recognized, said I could handle it, and hung up. But as soon as I turned onto the street, I forgot why I had done it. My short term memory was failing. I called my friend a few more times and each time I hung up because voice and directions on the phone only confused me more. Finally after what seemed like an hour I found the highway and pulled into a gas station to put just a few bucks in since my empty light was on, but my card didn't work at the pump. Not wanting to interact with a store clerk in my current state I drove off, thinking I would find another. I got on the highway and was glad to finally be getting out of there and back to my friend?€™s apartment. This is where my trip took a turn for the worst.
T+~3:45
My trip was peaking now and I was driving alone. I still was not seeing anything that wasn't there, but my mind was in overdrive. Some may call what I was about to experience a form of ego death, but I wouldn't use the term.
My reality began to break down in my mind. All I knew was name, when I was born, that I had taken mushrooms, and the name of the city I was in. Actually that's now all I knew, but it's what kept grounding me in the experience. Yet even these things began to break down. I passed signs I recognized, but they were out of order in my mind. I'll try to explain some of the thoughts that pulled me into intense fear and confusion. Also, understand that at the same time I was thinking all these thoughts, I was still searching for a gas station and trying to figure out where I was. First I was convinced that I had poisoned myself, and that I would be stuck in this mind state for the remainder of my life, then I thought about having to face my family in that state, but that was only the beginning.
I soon somehow was convinced that my whole life was a falsehood, and that my mind was coming out of it, that everything in my life was somehow leading to this night on this road. My friend called me multiple times but each time his voice sounded like a recording. I finally stopped answering at some point. I kept trying to figure out what was happening, why I hadn't reached my friend?€™s apartment yet. Soon the scenery passing me became more and more rural, and sparse. My tripping mind believed that my reality was breaking down and I would soon cease to exist, yet I told myself repeatedly that was impossible and to keep going and I would eventually figure it out.
T+4:30
I kept glancing at my car's clock so I can remember times by now. Fear and confusion are gripping me now and soon I even begin to question my own being. Was my name really Travis? Was I really born the date I remember?
I talked myself down, reassuring myself, but it did little. I freaked out eventually and called my friend, begging him to tell me I am who I think I am. He answered and I hung up again. I felt I had to figure this out myself. A few other personal issues were addressed and soon it clicked in my mind that I taken the wrong direction on the highway. I had been tripping balls for an hour trying to figure out what had happened and where I was.
T+5:00
As soon as that realization came I snapped out of my trip. The felling of relief after having figured out the mystery after what seemed like days was overwhelmingly joyful. I called my friend and told him I was thinking clearly again and had figured out what happened. I told him tell everyone there that I loved them and would find a gas station, turn around and come back. Having done that I glanced a Shell on the roadside, but didn't react quick enough to exit, having to continue on and find a highway crossing. Being a rather rural area, it lacked many under and overpasses, and 2 miles down the road, my car ran out of gas. I didn't panic, I wasn't tripping anymore, but I was frustrated that I had put myself into this position. Luckily my phone was getting a signal and I rang my friend and told him about the situation, letting him know I could figure it out and would get back, since he couldn't really help at all.
My first thought was to walk the couple of miles back to the station I had passed. However it was 2 am at this point and I didn't wish to walk that far. Flagging down somebody didn't appeal to me either. I sat for about 20 minutes pondering how I could get out of this without involving the police or my parents. Finally I remembered the AAA account my parents had bought me a year or so back. I called and they said they could bring me a free gallon in around 45 minutes. Overjoyed that I had somehow avoided arrest, used logic to figure out what had happened, and gotten myself out of the middle of nowhere I called my friend again and told him I could be back in a few hours and to leave his door unlocked. The technician soon arrived and got me on my way I after I thanked him repeatedly for coming to help me at such a terrible time. I reached a gas station a few miles away and was able to refuel and return to my friend?€™s apartment within an hour and a half. I walked in and being completely mentally and physically exhausted, passed out on his bedroom floor.
I first will say that even though I should have never put myself into that position that led to overwhelming fear, confusion, and stranding myself, I don't regret this experience. In hindsight I shouldn't have rushed into it. I always research any substance I want to use recreationally, and knew that set and setting are very powerful variables. I should have also had the sense to not drive with an unfamiliar substance influencing me and for one worse by myself.
However, I learned that if I trust myself, and think logically that I can pull myself out of nearly anything, and I seem to have noticed a boost in confidence and self esteem for having gone through this odyssey. I will also note that I greatly misjudged the power of psilocybin on the human mind, as well as the setting in which it is used. I will never ingest a psychedelic again unless I am in comfortable surroundings. The mushroom experience to me seemed very forced at times, which I don't really like. Reading as much as I could
I will certainly try mushrooms again, but for now I think my curiosity has been satisfied. I will definitely require some time to absorb everything that happened in those five hours.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_secondtime
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
I'm a 21 year old male in college around 220 pounds and 5'9". I'm introspective but also greatly enjoy company and social situations. My interests are vast in number and I always strive to explore and analyze not only the world around me but my own mind. I guess I could describe myself as an atheist but only to imply that I don't think a God exists, not to say that I preach it. I think religion puts as much good into this world as it does harm.
I had wanted to try mushrooms for nearly a year. I have been smoking cannabis for 3 years now but have basically no experience with psychedelics.
This is only my second experience with psychedelic mushrooms.
The first happened last Saturday at a friend?€™s house and was sort of preparation for this second experience.
We had been planning on spending the 4th together for a month or so. We being myself, my roommate, his girlfriend, his brother who didn't dose, another female friend and a really good friend whom I have known since junior high who had tried mushrooms before but also wouldn't be dosing with us. He also was letting us stay at his place over the weekend. We were going to be attending a concert in which we planned to drop 1 to 1.5 grams. My friend who was letting us stay over had to work and wouldn't be joining us till later.
T+0:00
My roommate and I both ingested 1.5 grams orally on a relatively empty stomach around 9 pm and we began to walk to the concert. The two girls with us were arriving at the concert later and took their mushrooms in tea about the same time. Nothing could have prepared me for the oncoming experience.
T+30
By this time me, my roommate and his brother were standing outside the venue waiting for friends to arrive. At this time I could definitely feel myself coming up as my legs began to feel loose and colors became more vibrant. We walked into the concert a few minutes later and sat down in the back. (The venue was outside) As we waited for the headliner to start I was coming up even more and enjoying myself. The only downside was I felt the people around me were judging me. (I don't recommend tripping in a public place unless you have much experience with psychedelics) I managed to ignore it and soon the band came on.
T+~1:00
At this point I was tripping but not hard. I also began to lose a sense of time so times are somewhat estimated. My roommate and his girlfriend were sitting in front of me and his brother sat next to me. I lied down in the dirt and felt much better and more at ease. It was a clear night and the moon was hanging right in front of my view, but what was most fascinating to me was the wind blowing across the leaves on the trees around the venue. It appeared to ripple through them and I felt very calm watching it.
The band had started by now and the music felt beyond explanation. It seemed to permeate my body and the ground as I lay there with closed eyes listening. Even the dusty rocky ground beneath me felt amazing. I have always loved the outdoors and getting dirty so this was very spiritual to me, as if my body and the ground were one. The music helped to propel me even further into the trip as each note seemed to linger in the air and flow through my ears and into the ground. At some point I heard my roommate?€™s brother mention that another friend who we were staying with would be arriving soon, and this uplifted me greatly, even though he was not tripping with us.
I want to note that even though I was tripping at this point I was still able to communicate effectively with sober friends. After my other friend arrived he wished to go find a better view, and looking to try and alter my trip by changing settings I followed. We walked a little closer to the stage but at this point I was finding it difficult to stand, and after a few minutes I left and returned to lie down next to my roommate and his girlfriend. I lied down and closed my eyes and let the music take me over again and I remained that way for the rest of the concert. I thought about many things, but I was tripping hard now and can't recall what I thought about.
T+~2:00
We were leaving the concert and at this point I my trip was beginning to overwhelm me mentally. I wasn't seeing anything that wasn't there, but words were beginning to lose their meaning; as we walked to my friend?€™s car confusion began to set in. I swear I heard someone mention getting Mexican food, but when I asked if that's what we were doing, no one had said a word about it. My trip began to turn ill at this point but I wasn't aware bad it would get. After crossing multiple intersections we finally walked up to a gas station and tripping balls, I walked inside. After a moment standing there, I realized I didn't have any money and didn't know why I came in in the first place. I rushed out past a man who said something in Spanish to me that didn't sound pleasant. The three other people tripping were sitting outside and I was relieved to find them.
After a minute or so we continued on to my friend?€™s car. I heard my friend mention he parked in the ghetto and as we walked the area began to appear more and more unsettling. (I am in no way racist, but concern for your safety sets in when you're with a group of five other white people walking through a rough neighborhood after midnight). We finally reached my friends car (he was sober) and we packed in. Here is where reality began to slip away from me. I had no idea where we were within the city or any idea where we were going. I burped loudly and the girls in the back laughed "Was it funny because I burped?" I asked. But they told me that I didn't burp, but my roommates brother did (they were still tripping also, but I didn't realize that) this confused me even more. Now am I imagining things?
My friend asked me multiple times if I was okay to drive, and not seeing anything that wasn't there, I answered yes figuring I could find my way. The drive back to my car was fun, but strange. When someone asked me a question on whether I recognized a landmark I was able to look up and respond and even recall facts about some things, but I still didn't know where we were going or what was happening. All of a sudden we stopped and I realized we were at my car. I was still tripping but felt confident to drive (DO NOT drive under the influence of any psychedelic, I should have never done it and could have been arrested or killed)
I got out and realized no one was joining me, but it didn't shake me (very bad decision, I was tripping so hard I didn't realize that I was now tripping by myself)
I got in my car, started it, pulled away from the curb, and took off with ease. It was only 25 minutes or so to where we were staying and it was mostly highway driving to get there.
T+~2:30
After driving for a minute or so, I realized I didn't know where I was. Even though I was tripping balls my driving skills were intact. Soon I couldn't focus, thoughts were racing through my mind, before I could complete one I was on the next one, and had forgotten what I thought about a moment earlier. I told myself to focus and find the highway, but I couldn't. I saw street names and recognized them, but my cognitive ability to analyze and act was completely diminished. I drove around the city for what seemed a long time but to no avail.
Finally I called my friend who was driving the others back, and asked him to help me find the highway, but his words sounded like a recording. He asked me where I was, but I didn't know, then I saw something I recognized, said I could handle it, and hung up. But as soon as I turned onto the street, I forgot why I had done it. My short term memory was failing. I called my friend a few more times and each time I hung up because voice and directions on the phone only confused me more. Finally after what seemed like an hour I found the highway and pulled into a gas station to put just a few bucks in since my empty light was on, but my card didn't work at the pump. Not wanting to interact with a store clerk in my current state I drove off, thinking I would find another. I got on the highway and was glad to finally be getting out of there and back to my friend?€™s apartment. This is where my trip took a turn for the worst.
T+~3:45
My trip was peaking now and I was driving alone. I still was not seeing anything that wasn't there, but my mind was in overdrive. Some may call what I was about to experience a form of ego death, but I wouldn't use the term.
My reality began to break down in my mind. All I knew was name, when I was born, that I had taken mushrooms, and the name of the city I was in. Actually that's now all I knew, but it's what kept grounding me in the experience. Yet even these things began to break down. I passed signs I recognized, but they were out of order in my mind. I'll try to explain some of the thoughts that pulled me into intense fear and confusion. Also, understand that at the same time I was thinking all these thoughts, I was still searching for a gas station and trying to figure out where I was. First I was convinced that I had poisoned myself, and that I would be stuck in this mind state for the remainder of my life, then I thought about having to face my family in that state, but that was only the beginning.
I soon somehow was convinced that my whole life was a falsehood, and that my mind was coming out of it, that everything in my life was somehow leading to this night on this road. My friend called me multiple times but each time his voice sounded like a recording. I finally stopped answering at some point. I kept trying to figure out what was happening, why I hadn't reached my friend?€™s apartment yet. Soon the scenery passing me became more and more rural, and sparse. My tripping mind believed that my reality was breaking down and I would soon cease to exist, yet I told myself repeatedly that was impossible and to keep going and I would eventually figure it out.
T+4:30
I kept glancing at my car's clock so I can remember times by now. Fear and confusion are gripping me now and soon I even begin to question my own being. Was my name really Travis? Was I really born the date I remember?
I talked myself down, reassuring myself, but it did little. I freaked out eventually and called my friend, begging him to tell me I am who I think I am. He answered and I hung up again. I felt I had to figure this out myself. A few other personal issues were addressed and soon it clicked in my mind that I taken the wrong direction on the highway. I had been tripping balls for an hour trying to figure out what had happened and where I was.
T+5:00
As soon as that realization came I snapped out of my trip. The felling of relief after having figured out the mystery after what seemed like days was overwhelmingly joyful. I called my friend and told him I was thinking clearly again and had figured out what happened. I told him tell everyone there that I loved them and would find a gas station, turn around and come back. Having done that I glanced a Shell on the roadside, but didn't react quick enough to exit, having to continue on and find a highway crossing. Being a rather rural area, it lacked many under and overpasses, and 2 miles down the road, my car ran out of gas. I didn't panic, I wasn't tripping anymore, but I was frustrated that I had put myself into this position. Luckily my phone was getting a signal and I rang my friend and told him about the situation, letting him know I could figure it out and would get back, since he couldn't really help at all.
My first thought was to walk the couple of miles back to the station I had passed. However it was 2 am at this point and I didn't wish to walk that far. Flagging down somebody didn't appeal to me either. I sat for about 20 minutes pondering how I could get out of this without involving the police or my parents. Finally I remembered the AAA account my parents had bought me a year or so back. I called and they said they could bring me a free gallon in around 45 minutes. Overjoyed that I had somehow avoided arrest, used logic to figure out what had happened, and gotten myself out of the middle of nowhere I called my friend again and told him I could be back in a few hours and to leave his door unlocked. The technician soon arrived and got me on my way I after I thanked him repeatedly for coming to help me at such a terrible time. I reached a gas station a few miles away and was able to refuel and return to my friend?€™s apartment within an hour and a half. I walked in and being completely mentally and physically exhausted, passed out on his bedroom floor.
I first will say that even though I should have never put myself into that position that led to overwhelming fear, confusion, and stranding myself, I don't regret this experience. In hindsight I shouldn't have rushed into it. I always research any substance I want to use recreationally, and knew that set and setting are very powerful variables. I should have also had the sense to not drive with an unfamiliar substance influencing me and for one worse by myself.
However, I learned that if I trust myself, and think logically that I can pull myself out of nearly anything, and I seem to have noticed a boost in confidence and self esteem for having gone through this odyssey. I will also note that I greatly misjudged the power of psilocybin on the human mind, as well as the setting in which it is used. I will never ingest a psychedelic again unless I am in comfortable surroundings. The mushroom experience to me seemed very forced at times, which I don't really like. Reading as much as I could
I will certainly try mushrooms again, but for now I think my curiosity has been satisfied. I will definitely require some time to absorb everything that happened in those five hours.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_secondtime
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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