Sprinklervibes
Bluelighter
I meet up with R in the trainstation of Bruges. He came from the town we both live, and I came
from Ghent, where I study. We had planned a trip to Sluis, Holland, to get us some mushrooms.
R is a good friend of mine, with whom I have shared many great experiences,
both drug-induced and non-drug-induced experiences.
Before I meet him I bought two boxes of DXM cough pastilles, two times 240mg.
We take the bus from Bruges to Sluis(in The Netherlands), happy that it only costs €5 for a trip back and forth.
This means more drugmoney.
We get in a random conversation with a 50 year old looking man on the bus. When we get off the bus in Sluis, we mention we might be going to a sexshop.
He is interested, and asks what our preference is, gay, hetero, kinky… and invites us to come with him to a gay sexshop where he had worked before.
We friendly decline and walk away at a slightly faster pace - with a LOL kind of look to our faces.
We didn’t come to the Netherlands for gay sex. Not even for straight sex!
We walk to a certain smart/head/grow shop. We look around a bit before deciding what to buy.
No salvia extract, too expensive - €23 for 1gram of 10x, of which the man behind the counter says
you need up to half for a full-on trip. Maybe another time.
So we buy: 2x 35grams of wet "Thai" cubensis mushrooms - €11.5 per portion
1x30 grams of wet "Amazonian XTC" cubensis mushrooms
(the same shape but the ”collar” around the cap was black instead of white, or the other way around) - €12.5 per portion
4 happy caps: trip-E - Ingredients: baby Hawaiian wood rose, Sida cordifolia,
passion flower, L-phenylalanine. Sida cordifolia: The effective substance is pseudo-ephedrine. - €7,
to really trip you should take all 4 of them at once, according to the salesman.
When we passed by a pharmacy we buy DXM – 300mg DXM in a bottle.
This Dutchmen is kind of curious, asking me if I had any allergies(I asked for dextromethorphan containing coughsyrup, heh).
I blurt something out about constipation and tongue fungus.
The Trip
Fast forward a few hours, back in “my crib” in Ghent.
I eat something light to kill my hunger because I get less nauseous when I
have some food in my stomach. I know from experience drugs hit me fast & hard enough if I take
them orally, even on a reasonably filled stomach. I used to eat kebab right before taking an E-pill.
I decide to dose on DXM first
Crushing up the pastilles is a bitch and takes too much time. I manage to
crush three of which a few chunks fly away.. I give up. Me and R both drink half of the syrup and I
take the 3 crushed up pastilles and down another three that aren’t crushed up. Swallow everything and
get the taste away with a beer, which I only drink half the way.
T+ 0:00 200-210mg DXM.
I chill a little bit, R proceeds to pop 2 E-caps immediately. I wait.
T+ 1:00 After an hour and some minor changes in my perception and the way moving feels I take them too.
T+ 1:30 I get a strong bodyload, it’s my stomach and my jaw muscles tensing.
I reckon the latter is due to my sensitivity to stimulants like pseudo-ephedrine, but mostly due to the DXM.
The nausea is probably from both the LSA and DXM. Moving is not something I'd do voluntarily. I sit still like a plant.
I feel there is a pleasant pressure in my head. The beginning of a psychedelic experience
T+ 2:15 I can’t stand the bodyload anymore, it doesn't allow me to enjoy the experience. My stomach is in agony.
I go to the toilet and violently purge a bunch of red liquid, what a release. I feel wonderful instantly.
Nice, trippy body feeling, talkative. R starts feeling it too, but gets annoyed by his stomach somewhat also.
We're both in a nice mindset, we talk about a few things that are on our mind.
T+ 2:45 We start eating the mushrooms. The plan was both eating a Thai portion and then sharing
an Amazonian of which we would make a tea. Though after chewing 3 of 4 caps thorougly as I always do,
(there were about 9-10 fat short mushrooms) things already start getting intense, fast.
I see patterns and change of colours in my vision, my sense of depth is wrong.
After quickly munching the rest I strap myself for the launch.
I wash the mushrooms down with Fanta and the rest of my jupiler which I hadn't finished.
I'm slightly scared/anxious because things start getting intense so fast, but hardly in the same way a normal mushroom come-up gives you anxiety.
The dissociation DXM definitely prevents that feeling from getting intense.
T+ 3:00 only a few minutes pass and the visuals are amazing, nothing like I've ever seen before.
Colours of my wall are changing from white to yellow to blue to green, patterns dancing out of the
wall, my wall cloth with a patterned circle projects a three dimensional tunnel trough the room.
I can't distinguish my real light from the three phantom lights that have replaced my light and are hovering around on my ceiling.
I hastily crawl in my bed under my blanket to seek shelter. I'm constantly wondering what's
going on, my blanket feels alive and confuses me and everything is moving around. The physical sensations are cool,
I'm being launched to hyperspace, or atleast to another dimension.
T+ 3:40 R doesn't feel the mushies yet, and asks me if I still wanted to share the other
portion. I said “take them all!” without having to give it a second thought - somewhat glad that I got that out of the way.
There are only 6-7 caps, fat short ones. I make sure I'm not calling anyone, a part that happens
in half of my mushroom experiences. On my first trip I had a rather weird incident were I was accidently
calling my mom while blurting out a bunch of tripped-out things to my friends. After I found out what I just did, I worried and had a "bad" trip for a while.
I can't figure out what I'm doing with my GSM and turn it off to be sure I'm not doing anything wrong..
The music is giving off real good vibes, two albums by Massive
attack followed by a sweet set by Layo and Bushwacka.
I'm moving, flowing to the muxic and enjoying the visuals with the least mindfuck I ever had on mushrooms,
nearly as lacking in mindfuck as the MDMA+mushroom combo, which is now inferior to robomush.
It's pretty much the MDMA mindset with insane visuals and a dissapointing short peak, a waste of good MDMA.
T+ 4:15 R is surfing on the PC waiting for his mushies to hit. Suddenly he giggles and finally starts tripping!
After some more tripping madness, us both being too incoherent to have much conversation, he sits by my washtable smoking a
cigarette. Suddenly, without warning, after a hit of his ciggie, he pukes in my washing table.
Sorry M, he says. It was like I was watching a complicated movie, I asked him "what happened?" while it was quite obvious.
At times, I didn’t quite know what or where I was, and asked him what he was doing here and who he was.
T+ 4:45 When things got insane
I go to the toilet to have a crap. What happens next was some kind of out of body experience. I
experienced visions, dreams and thoughts.
I experienced the world was "the Truman show", a set-up with everyone being
fake, and the whole point of the show was my death. Everone was acting, I was suspicious about them.
Next was, I believe, that I was abnormal. I had to be normal, somehow. To be like the others, to fit in.
I can’t remember/explain much about it, though I felt very worthless.
I couldn’t seem to whipe my ass, everytime I grabbed the roll of paper it got more wet to the inside,
and when I ripped paper off, this weird thing happened where it rolled back up, like a video rewinded. There was toiletpaper on
the ground in which I saw my mother, father and sister. They looked evil and stuck a tongue out to eachother.
Next, something about tomorrow. All would be better tomorrow, I would understand it tomorrow.
Then there's me looking at my ego, looking at how it's thinking instinctically, before the thoughts get processed by my rational self.
I was always one step behind it, I couldn't control it. Because of it I couldn't seem to get out of this loop of negativity.
Then I got back to reality somewhat, and I realized I had been on
the toilet for a long time - days had passed, tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. I got strong auditory hallucinations.
I heard my parents who were pissed because of my drug use – thinking they were in the same house as I.
Days passed, I felt and heard my parents and even family members laugh with me, saying they’d knew I would end like
this – a drug-induced nutcase, a shame to them. I thought I was truly insane at this point,
days had passed and I was still tripping. I heard cars and trucks honking at me in fast forward and in an
aggressive way, and still heard my parents’ voices mocking me. It was like I shit myself in public and made a disgrace out of myself.
My hands and mouth started feeling like there was shit on it.
I had nothing left, my friends abandoned me, even my family didn’t want me anymore.
I saw persons as entities at this point, only out there to choke another, to dominate another.
Simple bacteria, virusses. It was as simple as that. I contemplated committing suicide, but I had another thought,
that after my death I would have to relive my shitty life over and over, and I wasn’t sure it could ever be ended.
R. comes knocking on the door. He looks like the devil.
"What's wrong? You've been here for over an hour."
-"Nothing." I thought he was the devil, coming to take my life.
-"M?
M?"
-"You know what’s wrong.. I’m shit, I have nothing, I fucked up big time. I’m going to kill myself."
-He looks in disbelief. "Come on upstairs, we’ll talk about it. Come on man, pull up your pants, you’ve been here for ages."
I pull up my pants. I had been thinking about jumping out of the window,
and he suggested to go upstairs. Offcourse we had to go upstairs, because that's where my room is, but still, I was suspicious as fuck.
Back in my room. It's like he's making more hints for me to end it, I see him looking at the window with a grin on his face if I look at him.
When I look away, in the corner of my eye I can see him look evil at me, like he's waiting for me to do it. Then
he says, "let’s go to bed, sleep about it". I seriously think I'm going to die if I fall asleep. After a while I realize nothing really happened of what I
dreamed on the toilet. I clean up the papertoilet mess in the toilet I've made and try to
explain why I was acting so weird. We talk about suicide, taking a crap and our drug-induced misery, like loosing the trust of your very own blood.
And the feeling that you've fucked up and you're worthless that goes along with that.
About how we have a whole life to go, and shouldn’t be looking back. Done is done. Just leave it alone.
I drink another Jupiler, which I can't finish, and we go to bed. We are exhausted but
neither of us sleep well. R said he didn’t get any shut-eye at all.
The day after we were mentally refreshed, but physically tired.
What a trip.. Luckily it had a happy end after all!
In retrospect I learned a lot from those wacky dreams. I realize I'm paranoid about certain things which are uncalled for and they get me down while in fact there's no reason to be down. I find it hard to truly trust people. I do have real friends who I can trust and who are willing listen to my problems. People aren't evil by nature. Bacteria aren't evil, they don't have a will, and they're driven by physical and biochemical forces, just like humans. I realize that without the help of my parents and family I'd be nothing. I'll think twice about doing things that hurt our relationship.
My life isn't shit, like I sometimes make myself believe. I have a strong urge to live, to keep going and make something out of it! I'm blessed with being in existance, and being born as human and in a wealthy country as well. Fuck these luxury problems I'm imagining, I don't have to struggle to survive like the other half of humans that inhibit this earth.
I also learned that DXM+mushrooms is a great combination. I will try this again, without LSA, and with bigger doses of DXM.
Everyone that thinks DXM is a highschool kid's drug of choice should try this combo, and get their world blasted to bits.
I also must say that while I got few realizations during the trip - except for the delusional ones - most were learned in the weeks after the trip.
I've had a few flashbacks from the negative part of the trip, a couple in dreams, giving me food for thought during the day.
A couple others were experienced when watching lame typical soaps or movies and empathizing with a certain feeling, leading to a one second flashback.
Quite interesting. Maybe it's my brain trying to delete those memories, or at least learn to cope with them.
I'm flashback-free now. The realizations are still with me.
from Ghent, where I study. We had planned a trip to Sluis, Holland, to get us some mushrooms.
R is a good friend of mine, with whom I have shared many great experiences,
both drug-induced and non-drug-induced experiences.
Before I meet him I bought two boxes of DXM cough pastilles, two times 240mg.
We take the bus from Bruges to Sluis(in The Netherlands), happy that it only costs €5 for a trip back and forth.
This means more drugmoney.
We get in a random conversation with a 50 year old looking man on the bus. When we get off the bus in Sluis, we mention we might be going to a sexshop.
He is interested, and asks what our preference is, gay, hetero, kinky… and invites us to come with him to a gay sexshop where he had worked before.
We friendly decline and walk away at a slightly faster pace - with a LOL kind of look to our faces.
We didn’t come to the Netherlands for gay sex. Not even for straight sex!
We walk to a certain smart/head/grow shop. We look around a bit before deciding what to buy.
No salvia extract, too expensive - €23 for 1gram of 10x, of which the man behind the counter says
you need up to half for a full-on trip. Maybe another time.
So we buy: 2x 35grams of wet "Thai" cubensis mushrooms - €11.5 per portion
1x30 grams of wet "Amazonian XTC" cubensis mushrooms
(the same shape but the ”collar” around the cap was black instead of white, or the other way around) - €12.5 per portion
4 happy caps: trip-E - Ingredients: baby Hawaiian wood rose, Sida cordifolia,
passion flower, L-phenylalanine. Sida cordifolia: The effective substance is pseudo-ephedrine. - €7,
to really trip you should take all 4 of them at once, according to the salesman.
When we passed by a pharmacy we buy DXM – 300mg DXM in a bottle.
This Dutchmen is kind of curious, asking me if I had any allergies(I asked for dextromethorphan containing coughsyrup, heh).
I blurt something out about constipation and tongue fungus.
The Trip
Fast forward a few hours, back in “my crib” in Ghent.
I eat something light to kill my hunger because I get less nauseous when I
have some food in my stomach. I know from experience drugs hit me fast & hard enough if I take
them orally, even on a reasonably filled stomach. I used to eat kebab right before taking an E-pill.
I decide to dose on DXM first
Crushing up the pastilles is a bitch and takes too much time. I manage to
crush three of which a few chunks fly away.. I give up. Me and R both drink half of the syrup and I
take the 3 crushed up pastilles and down another three that aren’t crushed up. Swallow everything and
get the taste away with a beer, which I only drink half the way.
T+ 0:00 200-210mg DXM.
I chill a little bit, R proceeds to pop 2 E-caps immediately. I wait.
T+ 1:00 After an hour and some minor changes in my perception and the way moving feels I take them too.
T+ 1:30 I get a strong bodyload, it’s my stomach and my jaw muscles tensing.
I reckon the latter is due to my sensitivity to stimulants like pseudo-ephedrine, but mostly due to the DXM.
The nausea is probably from both the LSA and DXM. Moving is not something I'd do voluntarily. I sit still like a plant.
I feel there is a pleasant pressure in my head. The beginning of a psychedelic experience
T+ 2:15 I can’t stand the bodyload anymore, it doesn't allow me to enjoy the experience. My stomach is in agony.
I go to the toilet and violently purge a bunch of red liquid, what a release. I feel wonderful instantly.
Nice, trippy body feeling, talkative. R starts feeling it too, but gets annoyed by his stomach somewhat also.
We're both in a nice mindset, we talk about a few things that are on our mind.
T+ 2:45 We start eating the mushrooms. The plan was both eating a Thai portion and then sharing
an Amazonian of which we would make a tea. Though after chewing 3 of 4 caps thorougly as I always do,
(there were about 9-10 fat short mushrooms) things already start getting intense, fast.
I see patterns and change of colours in my vision, my sense of depth is wrong.
After quickly munching the rest I strap myself for the launch.
I wash the mushrooms down with Fanta and the rest of my jupiler which I hadn't finished.
I'm slightly scared/anxious because things start getting intense so fast, but hardly in the same way a normal mushroom come-up gives you anxiety.
The dissociation DXM definitely prevents that feeling from getting intense.
T+ 3:00 only a few minutes pass and the visuals are amazing, nothing like I've ever seen before.
Colours of my wall are changing from white to yellow to blue to green, patterns dancing out of the
wall, my wall cloth with a patterned circle projects a three dimensional tunnel trough the room.
I can't distinguish my real light from the three phantom lights that have replaced my light and are hovering around on my ceiling.
I hastily crawl in my bed under my blanket to seek shelter. I'm constantly wondering what's
going on, my blanket feels alive and confuses me and everything is moving around. The physical sensations are cool,
I'm being launched to hyperspace, or atleast to another dimension.
T+ 3:40 R doesn't feel the mushies yet, and asks me if I still wanted to share the other
portion. I said “take them all!” without having to give it a second thought - somewhat glad that I got that out of the way.
There are only 6-7 caps, fat short ones. I make sure I'm not calling anyone, a part that happens
in half of my mushroom experiences. On my first trip I had a rather weird incident were I was accidently
calling my mom while blurting out a bunch of tripped-out things to my friends. After I found out what I just did, I worried and had a "bad" trip for a while.
I can't figure out what I'm doing with my GSM and turn it off to be sure I'm not doing anything wrong..
The music is giving off real good vibes, two albums by Massive
attack followed by a sweet set by Layo and Bushwacka.
I'm moving, flowing to the muxic and enjoying the visuals with the least mindfuck I ever had on mushrooms,
nearly as lacking in mindfuck as the MDMA+mushroom combo, which is now inferior to robomush.
It's pretty much the MDMA mindset with insane visuals and a dissapointing short peak, a waste of good MDMA.
T+ 4:15 R is surfing on the PC waiting for his mushies to hit. Suddenly he giggles and finally starts tripping!
After some more tripping madness, us both being too incoherent to have much conversation, he sits by my washtable smoking a
cigarette. Suddenly, without warning, after a hit of his ciggie, he pukes in my washing table.
Sorry M, he says. It was like I was watching a complicated movie, I asked him "what happened?" while it was quite obvious.
At times, I didn’t quite know what or where I was, and asked him what he was doing here and who he was.
T+ 4:45 When things got insane
I go to the toilet to have a crap. What happens next was some kind of out of body experience. I
experienced visions, dreams and thoughts.
I experienced the world was "the Truman show", a set-up with everyone being
fake, and the whole point of the show was my death. Everone was acting, I was suspicious about them.
Next was, I believe, that I was abnormal. I had to be normal, somehow. To be like the others, to fit in.
I can’t remember/explain much about it, though I felt very worthless.
I couldn’t seem to whipe my ass, everytime I grabbed the roll of paper it got more wet to the inside,
and when I ripped paper off, this weird thing happened where it rolled back up, like a video rewinded. There was toiletpaper on
the ground in which I saw my mother, father and sister. They looked evil and stuck a tongue out to eachother.
Next, something about tomorrow. All would be better tomorrow, I would understand it tomorrow.
Then there's me looking at my ego, looking at how it's thinking instinctically, before the thoughts get processed by my rational self.
I was always one step behind it, I couldn't control it. Because of it I couldn't seem to get out of this loop of negativity.
Then I got back to reality somewhat, and I realized I had been on
the toilet for a long time - days had passed, tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. I got strong auditory hallucinations.
I heard my parents who were pissed because of my drug use – thinking they were in the same house as I.
Days passed, I felt and heard my parents and even family members laugh with me, saying they’d knew I would end like
this – a drug-induced nutcase, a shame to them. I thought I was truly insane at this point,
days had passed and I was still tripping. I heard cars and trucks honking at me in fast forward and in an
aggressive way, and still heard my parents’ voices mocking me. It was like I shit myself in public and made a disgrace out of myself.
My hands and mouth started feeling like there was shit on it.
I had nothing left, my friends abandoned me, even my family didn’t want me anymore.
I saw persons as entities at this point, only out there to choke another, to dominate another.
Simple bacteria, virusses. It was as simple as that. I contemplated committing suicide, but I had another thought,
that after my death I would have to relive my shitty life over and over, and I wasn’t sure it could ever be ended.
R. comes knocking on the door. He looks like the devil.
"What's wrong? You've been here for over an hour."
-"Nothing." I thought he was the devil, coming to take my life.
-"M?
M?"
-"You know what’s wrong.. I’m shit, I have nothing, I fucked up big time. I’m going to kill myself."
-He looks in disbelief. "Come on upstairs, we’ll talk about it. Come on man, pull up your pants, you’ve been here for ages."
I pull up my pants. I had been thinking about jumping out of the window,
and he suggested to go upstairs. Offcourse we had to go upstairs, because that's where my room is, but still, I was suspicious as fuck.
Back in my room. It's like he's making more hints for me to end it, I see him looking at the window with a grin on his face if I look at him.
When I look away, in the corner of my eye I can see him look evil at me, like he's waiting for me to do it. Then
he says, "let’s go to bed, sleep about it". I seriously think I'm going to die if I fall asleep. After a while I realize nothing really happened of what I
dreamed on the toilet. I clean up the papertoilet mess in the toilet I've made and try to
explain why I was acting so weird. We talk about suicide, taking a crap and our drug-induced misery, like loosing the trust of your very own blood.
And the feeling that you've fucked up and you're worthless that goes along with that.
About how we have a whole life to go, and shouldn’t be looking back. Done is done. Just leave it alone.
I drink another Jupiler, which I can't finish, and we go to bed. We are exhausted but
neither of us sleep well. R said he didn’t get any shut-eye at all.
The day after we were mentally refreshed, but physically tired.
What a trip.. Luckily it had a happy end after all!
In retrospect I learned a lot from those wacky dreams. I realize I'm paranoid about certain things which are uncalled for and they get me down while in fact there's no reason to be down. I find it hard to truly trust people. I do have real friends who I can trust and who are willing listen to my problems. People aren't evil by nature. Bacteria aren't evil, they don't have a will, and they're driven by physical and biochemical forces, just like humans. I realize that without the help of my parents and family I'd be nothing. I'll think twice about doing things that hurt our relationship.
My life isn't shit, like I sometimes make myself believe. I have a strong urge to live, to keep going and make something out of it! I'm blessed with being in existance, and being born as human and in a wealthy country as well. Fuck these luxury problems I'm imagining, I don't have to struggle to survive like the other half of humans that inhibit this earth.
I also learned that DXM+mushrooms is a great combination. I will try this again, without LSA, and with bigger doses of DXM.
Everyone that thinks DXM is a highschool kid's drug of choice should try this combo, and get their world blasted to bits.
I also must say that while I got few realizations during the trip - except for the delusional ones - most were learned in the weeks after the trip.
I've had a few flashbacks from the negative part of the trip, a couple in dreams, giving me food for thought during the day.
A couple others were experienced when watching lame typical soaps or movies and empathizing with a certain feeling, leading to a one second flashback.
Quite interesting. Maybe it's my brain trying to delete those memories, or at least learn to cope with them.
I'm flashback-free now. The realizations are still with me.
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